Three Months On Vulcan

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: See first chapter
Rating: PG-13 (language, adult situations, sensuality)

A/N: Warning: There’s some straight-ish talk about sex ahead. And angst. Because it’s not a real Trip & T’Pol story without at least a smattering of angst. ;)

Special thanks to Honeybee for red-pen services!

=/\=

Month Three

This is what a human wouldn’t do: wait until her thumbs were pressed into my inner thighs—dangerously close to the family jewels—before asking in a clinical voice, “Is it true that humans require frequent copulation for emotional and physical fulfillment?” And then, pressing deeper into my thigh muscles, say, “Has your lack of sexual intercourse during your stay on Vulcan had an adverse effect on you?”

Apparently, that’s exactly what a Vulcan did.

My first thought was to tell T’Pol that yes, a lack of sex was having an adverse effect, and would she please strip down and take care of that problem for me? All night long, preferably. It was a helluva lot better stress release than neuro-pressure.

“Is it true that Vulcans only mate every seven years?” I figured it was safer to turn the question back on her. I’d actually been using that bit of rumor to keep my hormones in check. It was harder to fantasize about someone who couldn’t physically do the deed.

She didn’t answer until she’d turned my legs to jello. “We do not speak of such things to outworlders,” she said, sitting back on her heels.

I propped myself up on my elbows. “There you go.” Of course humans talked about sex with everybody and their brothers, despite our aversion to community bathing—a fact T’Pol was probably well aware of after living on Earth for a while. My goal, however, was to steer her away from the subject altogether. I didn’t need to have sex on the brain when I was between her legs.

We traded positions. I located her neural nodes and closed my eyes. When she introduced this posture—last night—I was awake half the night, unable to scrub the image from my mind of her lying before me like that. I didn’t breathe at all while performing it the first time. I could barely breathe now.

Hell yeah, I was suffering immensely from deprivation. Truth be told, it was starting to make me cranky.

I leaned on my thumbs with the weight of my upper body, prepared to tell her about the new design I’d come up with for plasma converters that would improve engine efficiency by more than eighty percent. Talking about warp engines was a good distraction, and it even worked sometimes.

Before I could get a word out, T’Pol said, “It is a biological imperative.”

I opened my eyes. “What?”

“Harder, please.” She gave a meaningful glance to my hands.

For the love of God, the woman was going to kill me.

I did as she requested, hoping like hell her muscles would give soon. “What’s a biological imperative?” The question was out of my mouth before my brain made a connection from her seemingly random comment to the discussion I was trying to avoid.

“Vulcans are driven to mate every seven years, but—” She cut off with a gasp. The gasp. The one that sounded like a woman who’d experienced a good round of copulation.

I snatched my hands back and nearly leapt onto the bed before I did something stupid like kiss her senseless right then and there. I’d never wanted a woman, body and soul, as much as I wanted T’Pol, and she was wholly untouchable—at least that way.

“As I was saying,” T’Pol said, sitting up, completely unaware she’d almost been mauled by a horny human, “Vulcans are driven to mate every seven years, but it does not preclude mating at other times. It can be a useful activity for strengthening the bond between mates.”

There went that tool for dampening my libido. “Oh,” was about all the response I could muster. There were two things that made a smart man stupider than moths buzzing around a light: lots of alcohol and lots of hormones. I was currently suffering from the latter now that I knew T’Pol could mate whenever she wanted. My brain happily provided supplemental images to go along with the revelation.

“Will you answer my questions now?” She stared up at me with a lifted brow.

“Huh?” I probably looked like an idiot.

She pursed her lips. Obviously, she didn’t notice I wasn’t firing on all cylinders at the moment. “Is frequent copulation a biological imperative for humans, and if so, do you find yourself experiencing adverse effects due to abstaining from the activity during your stay on Vulcan?”

“I’m an engineer not a biologist,” I said, silently congratulating myself on a coherent answer. “I’m sure you’ve got access to medical texts and the like. Go look it up.” I stood up and opened the door, gesturing for her to leave.

She stayed right where she was. “As a human, you are qualified to provide an adequate answer.”

“But not the best answer, right?” I said, again waving for her to make an exit. “So, go to whatever medical database that’s available to you and indulge your curiosity.” I was being a little snippy, but dammit, I was frustrated and needed some breathing room.

T’Pol got the message and stood up. Just outside of my room, she turned and said, “I don’t understand why you refuse to answer.”

“I’m an illogical human. Get used to it.” I closed the door before she could respond.

I regretted my actions as soon as my head hit the pillow. One way or another, the woman always had me tied up in knots.

=/\=

The next morning, T’Les helped me prepare breakfast instead of T’Pol. I wanted to ask where T’Pol was, worried that I’d offended her with my immature behavior the night before, but I didn’t say anything as I washed the vegetables.

“You are attracted to my daughter,” T’Les said as she chopped the fruit. She glanced up at me. “There’s no logic in denying it.”

How the hell did a person respond to that? “She’s smart and beautiful.” I shrugged, forcing a grin. “Any guy would find her attractive.”

T’Les nodded. “The clan would not approve of her romantic involvement with you.”

Way to kick a man while he was down. My smile dipped, my cheeks burning from irrational indignation. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. We’re just friends.” I handed T’Les the veggies and prepared the rest of breakfast without another word.

After that “hands-off” conversation, I was at the house less and less. I threw myself into my studies, spending most of my time at the institute’s library. I made sure to always notify T’Les, as courtesy dictated, when I wasn’t going to make it home for dinner, which was pretty much every night. I’d leave before breakfast and sneak in long after dark. When T’Pol came knocking for neuro-pressure, I’d either pretend to be asleep or I’d tell her I was too busy studying. I hated lying to her, but even more, I hated having her near me when I couldn’t act on my feelings. It was stupid, but no one ever accused a twenty-something of being wise—not even one who was a genius engineer.

It wasn’t just about sex. T’Pol was the first woman I met who could keep up with me when talking warp theory. She wasn’t pretending either like Natalie had, but truly understood every word I uttered on the subject. T’Pol challenged me, helped me to see things from a different perspective. I liked arguing with her. I liked her subtle sense of humor. Hell, I even liked that flicker in her eyes when she was getting frustrated with me. The fact was, somewhere between our crappy first meeting and that last neuro-pressure session, I’d started falling for her. Forget doomed romance. This thing wasn’t even getting out of the gates.

When I wasn’t at the library, I was hanging out with Amanda. It became our tradition to get drinks together after history class—just a couple of beers, nothing like that first night. Sometimes, I wished I was attracted to her. It would have been so much easier.

“So, two more weeks before you ship out?” Amanda asked one evening while we were sitting in the embassy bar.

“Yep.” I took a sip of my beer. I had mixed feelings about leaving Vulcan. I missed Earth with its lower gravity and water. God, I missed swimming in the ocean. I missed my family and my friends. But Vulcan was growing on me, too. I didn’t know when I’d get another chance to visit. Starfleet was keen on recruiting me after I graduated next year.

“My tour is up next month,” Amanda said. “I put in a request to extend, but it was denied.”

I raised my brows. “Sorry ‘bout that.” I hadn’t realized Amanda liked Vulcan that much. But maybe after her year here, it had grown on her too.

“No biggie.” She shrugged. “I’m getting out of the MACOs instead.”

“Really?” I swiveled on my stool to face her. “What’re you going to do?”

“There’s an opening for a translator at the embassy,” she said.

I shook my head. “Don’t most Vulcans speak Standard better than we do?”

“It’s for translating Vulcan broadcasts.” She grinned. “And I’m damn good with the language. Better than any of those corps desk-jockeys.”

I chuckled. Typical Amanda humility—or lack thereof. “Nobody’s ever going to call you modest.”

She schooled her expression, raising one brow like a Vulcan. “False modesty is illogical.”

I raised my bottle a snort. “You’ll fit right in.”

She stared at me all austere-like for a moment before crumbling into laughter. “I don’t think this round peg will ever fit into a square hole.”

“I think it’s the other way around. How many beers have you had?” I was pretty sure she hadn’t had enough to start mixing up phrases.

“There’s nothing square about me, and there never will be.” Amanda winked before taking a long drag from her bottle. “Soval offered me a job.”

I nearly spat my drink all over her. “Soval? The professor who can’t stand you? The guy who’s life you’re always trying to make miserable?”

“Hey!” She swatted my shoulder with a frown. “I’m not that bad.”

“Yes, you are.” That earned me another swat—a little harder than the last. I laughed.

“Anyway,” she said, scowling at me. “He’s an anthropologist when he’s not begrudgingly teaching history to idiot humans. He says my interest in other cultures and my high aptitude for learning make me ‘an acceptable candidate for an assistant—even though it would mean suffering my illogical need for provocation.’” She cocked her head. “I don’t know. It sounds like it could be fun.”

“It sounds like more opportunities to drive him crazy,” I said, smirking.

“That’s the fun part.” She flashed a wide grin. “I think I might take the job.”

I held up my drink. “To annoying the hell out of our favorite professor.”

“Here, here.” Amanda clinked her bottle with mine. “And to good friends. May we always keep in touch, no matter how far apart we are.”

We spent the rest of the evening coming up with new ways for Amanda to torment the professor and predicting what his reaction would be. We nearly got thrown out for laughing too loudly.

As I walked out of the embassy into the warm night air, I felt a little sad that things had to change. Everything was winding down.

=/\=

T’Pol was waiting for me when I got home—in my room. I took one look at her silky-pajama-clad form sitting cross-legged on my bed and almost walked right back out. I wasn’t in the mood for confrontation, but if she had her mind set on having words with me, we were going to have them. Whether I liked it or not.

“What are you doing in my room?” I asked, closing the door behind me. Even if this was merely a determined neuro-pressure session, it was best to keep things private. My gut said I was more likely to get another biting lecture on my lack of courtesy.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” she said in a cold voice. That was a red-flag. Whenever she turned into the Ice Princess, that meant she was displeased to the extreme.

I decided to play it cool. “My studies have been keeping me busy.” I sat down on the bed opposite of her and pulled off my shoes. I was a mix of all kinds of emotions. Frustration that T’Pol wasn’t a regular girl I could just ask out. Frustration that I couldn’t ignore my attraction and enjoy our friendship. Frustration that I was the only one suffering.

All right, maybe I wasn’t so much mixed up as I was experiencing various forms of frustration.

“Not too busy.” T’Pol was practically shooting icicles from her eyes. “You have time to socialize with Miss Cole.”

I removed my socks before answering. I felt guilty at her accusation, and then angry that I felt guilty for hanging out with my friend. How the hell did T’Pol know where I was, anyway? “What makes you say that?”

“You smell like alcohol.” She gave me her Vulcan “duh, you idiot” look.

I’d forgotten about her damned sensitive Vulcan nose. “I don’t see how it’s any of your business who I socialize with and where I do it.” I tugged my shirt over my head, wondering why I didn’t just tell her the truth. Oh yeah, because she was making me feel like a goddamn cheater even though we weren’t in a relationship.

“Are you copulating with her?”

What. The. Hell.

I stared at her, dumbfounded. Several possible responses jumbled through my head. I almost said, “Yep, we’re copulating the hell out of each other. What’s it to you?” but thought better of it. Instead, I said, “Again, I’m pretty sure that qualifies as none of your business.” I held up a hand when she started to speak. “My relationship with Amanda doesn’t reflect poorly on your clan, so save your arguments.”

I was going to leave it at that, but suddenly, I was tired of all this shit. I sighed, running a hand over my face. “Amanda and I are just friends, if that makes you feel better. We’re not sleeping together, and we never will,” I said, not looking at T’Pol.

There was a long moment of silence before she spoke. And when she did, it was in a small voice that cut right through me. “Then why are you avoiding me?”

I felt like I’d just won the Jerk of the Century award. I glanced at her. Her eyes were wide and vulnerable. I wanted to take her into my arms and apologize for everything I’d done wrong in my life. Running my fingers through my hair, I said, “Listen, it’s my problem. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

Her eyes went flat. It was like a wall just slammed down between us. “I am not hurt,” she said, coldness seeping back into her voice. “I merely desired an explanation for your change in behavior.”

I snorted, rolling my eyes. Unbelievable. The woman made a man want to put his fist through a wall. “You know what? Fine.” I threw my hands into the air, standing. “You want to know why I’ve been avoiding you? It’s because you drive me nuts! You’re so damn stubborn and know-it-all, I want to shake you. What’s worse, despite how frustrating you are, somehow I like you. I can’t get enough of you. I want to be with you. And that makes me even crazier!” I crossed my arms over my chest. “So, excuse me for thinking the best thing for my sanity would be to stay the hell away from you.”

There. I’d laid it all out before her. There was no way she’d talk to me after this. The thought made me sick to my stomach, but I didn’t see happily-ever-after happening here.

T’Pol rose from the bed, drawing herself up to her full petite height before me. “You are being irrational.”

I let out a mirthless laugh. “Oh, that’s rich. I’m irrational because I’m a goddamn human being with feelings—for you.” I walked over to the door and yanked it open. “This is exactly why I can’t be around you. I think we’re done here.”

She stepped up to me, staring me down like she could make me wither before her eyes. “If that is how you feel—”

“Damn straight.”

“—then I will no longer disturb you.”

“See to it, darlin’.”

Looking back, I could only guess it was a combination of several things that made me do what I did. Maybe it was because she didn’t make a move to step foot out of my room. Maybe I wanted to wipe that smug expression off her face. Or maybe, just maybe, despite all my anger, deep down I couldn’t let this be how we parted ways.

I kissed her.

Not the little “we’re just friends” kind of peck, either. I kissed her the way I’ve been wanting to for more than a month—like she was the last feast for a dying man. She went rigid at first, but before I could break off and apologize, she snaked her fingers through my hair and deepened the kiss. That was the end of all sense and reason for me. My world narrowed to her soft, burning lips and the feel of her silky pajamas against my bare chest.

I vaguely recall kicking the door shut before we stumbled to the bed.

=/\=

I woke up alone.

I tried not to worry about what her absence meant, but I was pretty anxious when I went to the kitchen. T’Pol was already there, pulling things out of the status unit.

“Good morning,” I said, clearing my throat.

She glanced at me. “Good morning.” She put on the special gloves Vulcans wore for food prep and focused on washing the produce.

What did that mean? Was she pretending like nothing happened the night before? Was she expecting me to? I wasn’t sure I could.

I stepped behind her and, leaning forward, said in a low voice, “We should probably talk about what happened last night.”

She paused mid-scrub. “Perhaps later,” she whispered with a significant glance in the direction of her mother’s room.

“Oh, right.” I nodded, stepping back. “Later.”

We prepared breakfast in awkward silence, and neither of us spoke much during the meal. T’Les studied us over her teacup. She knew something was up, but thankfully, didn’t comment on the lack of conversation.

I was jittery all day, imagining how my discussion with T’Pol was going to go. One of my instructors mentioned that I seemed distracted. I told him I was thinking about my final project. I told T’Les the same lie when she said something about how quiet I was during dinner.

I had worked myself into a lather by the time T’Pol came knocking on my door, sure she was going to tell me it had all been a mistake, or that she was merely concerned for my health and provided the necessary copulation to fulfill my biological needs.

As soon as the door closed behind her, she attacked me with her lips. That was the only conversation we had on the matter.

We had the same conversation every night that week. That was good enough for me.

=/\=

For a while, it was easy to pretend this would go on forever, easy to forget I was heading back home in just days. I only cared about two things: building the prototype for my plasma converter and T’Pol—and not always in that order.

Reality came crashing down on my last day of classes, the day before I was to ship out. I had received my final marks from the institute, all “acceptable”—the equivalent of high honors back on Earth. Soval gave me a grudging “exceptional” and qualified it with “for a human.” I laughed. The professor was a grumpy bastard to the end. He gave Amanda the same grade.

My gut was tied up in knots as I rode the public transit back to the house. I didn’t want this thing between T’Pol and me to be one of those flings a person had while they were away from home. She was on sabbatical; didn’t that mean she’d be coming back to Earth eventually? Nothing had to end, right?

It was a goddamn pipe dream.

At dinner, after asking about my final grades, T’Les said to T’Pol, “You’ve received a letter today.”

T’Pol glanced up. She’d been quiet throughout the meal. “From whom?”

“Koss.”

The temperature in the room seemed to drop as the two women stared at each other. The color drained from T’Pol’s face. “Why was he here?” she asked.

T’Les took a sip of her tea before answering in a casual tone, “His clan is willing to renegotiate the terms of the marriage.”

My mini-tongs dropped to my plate with a loud clank as the earth seemed to fall out from under me. I turned to T’Pol and tried to keep my composure as I asked, “You’re engaged?”

“No,” T’Pol replied the same time T’Les said, “Yes.”

T’Pol gave her mother a pointed look. “I broke off the engagement more than a year ago. He should have found a suitable mate in the interim.”

Relief washed over me, but it was short-lived.

“You are being unreasonable,” T’Les said.

T’Pol gripped the cushions on the bench. “I will not renegotiate.”

T’Les’s expression softened. “Your place in the clan was already tenuous when you refused Koss. Will you risk being shunned for the sake of a fleeting romantic attachment to a human? Surely you understand your relationship with Mister Tucker has no future.” Her gaze was piercing. “If you persist in this, in the end you will have lost everything and gained nothing.”

It was like I wasn’t even the room. After a tense heartbeat, I realized I didn’t want to be. I excused myself to go make sense of all this in private.

I paced my room as I tried to come to terms with the state of things. I wanted T’Pol to tell her mother to go to hell. I wanted her to run away with me. Screw everyone. We could make this work.

And yet, I couldn’t forget holding hands with the clan. I couldn’t forget the overwhelming warmth, affection and unity they shared. T’Les was right. T’Pol would be sacrificing everything for a human she’d only known for a couple of months.

I stopped pacing, struck by a painful realization: I was in love with T’Pol. And because I loved her, I couldn’t ask her to walk away from her family for me.

It was over. All of it.

I pulled out my duffle bag and started packing, ignoring the aching hollowness growing in my chest. I tried to be grateful for the time I had with T’Pol, for the ways I’d grown because of our association, but I couldn’t get over my anger at the universe for being so damned unfair.

There was a soft knock on my door.

I sat on the bed with a sigh, knowing who it was. “Come in.”

T’Pol looked so small as she stepped into my room. “Trip,” she said, “I—”

“You don’t have to say anything,” I said, cutting her off. I glanced up at the ceiling, trying to find the least painful way to say goodbye. There wasn’t one. “It’s not like we’re D’Orvak and T’Seil, right?”

“I do not wish to bond with Koss.” She sat down next to me. God, I was going to miss her spicy honey scent.

I ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t want you to, either.” With a deep breath, I turned to her and went on, “But you don’t turn your back on family. I won’t let you.”

Her expression was so pained, I almost wrapped my arms around her and told her that we’d find a way. We wouldn’t, though. Standing, I slung my duffle bag over my shoulder.

T’Pol rose with me. “You’re leaving?”

“It’s probably best if I stayed at the embassy,” I said, “under the circumstances.” I was afraid if I didn’t go, my resolve to do the right thing would crumble like a house of cards. I took her face in my hands and gave her the saddest kiss I’d ever experienced. “I’ll never regret knowing you,” I whispered when we broke apart. “Goodbye, T’Pol.”

I felt like someone had cut my heart out with a dull knife as I left her behind.

The next day, Amanda went with me to the space port to see me off. I looked for T’Pol, but she never came.

=/\=

It was strange to be back on Earth. The weather seemed cold, even though it was summer in my part of the world. My feet seemed to spring with every step I took. Everything was light and airy and damp. The exact opposite of what I felt inside.

I took the summer term off and went home to visit my family. Even though I was glad to see them again, I felt like I was going through the motions. At the end of two weeks, Bert handed me the keys to his beach house. He said I looked like I needed some alone time. I did.

A month later, I was sitting on a deckchair, reading Amanda’s latest letter and nursing a beer when someone rang the doorbell. “Out back!” I hollered, thinking it was one of Bert’s friends.

My heart stopped when I glanced up and found T’Pol coming around the house. She wore long pants and a coat, and was even more breathtaking than I remembered. I rose out of my chair, at a loss for words.

“The pattern of your shirt is disconcerting,” she said as she closed the distance between us.

I glanced down at my shirt and laughed, nervous as hell. “What’re you doing here?”

She clasped her hands behind her back and took in the view. “I did not renegotiate with Koss.”

At once, I felt elated and riddled with guilt. “What about your family?”

She turned back to me, raising a brow. “It would seem that you have made an agreeable impression on T’Mal. She and my mother do not approve, but they have accepted my decision. Soval argued in my favor.”

My mouth dropped open. Soval? The professor who could barely stand humans supported our relationship? “So, you’re not being shunned?”

“No, though I am no longer considered a candidate for leading the clan,” she said. “I doubt I was a true candidate before.”

This all sounded too good to be true. I nearly pinched myself. “And we can be together?”

She hesitated before saying in a quiet voice, “If that is your wish.”

“Hell yes, it is!” I pulled her into my arms and kissed away her doubts. I led her back into the house to show her just how much I wanted to be with her. At that moment, there wasn’t a happier man on Earth—or Vulcan, for that matter.

Early the next morning, Henry Archer’s son came calling, offering me the chance to head up the crew building the first full warp engine. I told him I’d think about it, and then left him standing on the porch while I went back to bed with T’Pol.

I’d be damned if I ever let anything get between us again.

~FIN~