Rating: PG
Genres: adventure
Keywords: bond
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If she had heard Trip’s call, it meant they shared some degree of connection. Maybe it came from long, close association aboard ship. Perhaps it resulted from the intimacy of their neuro-pressure sessions, or that night they had spent wrapped tight around each other in her quarters.
Would that connection allow her to…
No! Her hands clenched, then tightened to the fists she hadn’t allowed them to form before. She swallowed hard as her gorge rose in revulsion. The very thought was horrible. Painful. Everything she had been raised to believe rebelled against the idea of…
Trip’s hand raised, brushed her sleeve, fell away. “T’Pol! Gotta… Find…”
No. She was wrong. Not everything she believed in rebelled.
The needs of the many…
She could list them all: the captain, the crew who needed his leadership, and Trip, who, in his human way, would blame himself if anything happened to his long time friend, who was very much her friend as well.
…Outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.
It was an old teaching.
She had been raised on that, too.
If circumstances demanded that she give her life itself for the captain or any of her crewmates, would she hesitate? How could it be worse to sacrificing her honor, her pride in exchange for the captain’s life or Trip’s conscience?
“Commander?” Her hand shook as she reached for Trip’s. She swallowed the tremor in her voice. “Trip?”
“Yeah?” It was barely a whisper. His eyes did not open.
“I wish to try to access your memories. I believe it is the only way to locate the captain. Have I your permission?”
“Yeah, T’Pol… I’m with you.” The returning grasp on her hand was slight but discernable as his fingers circled hers. “Do… what you need to.”
Returning the pressure for a brief moment, she lowered his hand to the floor and released it. She drew a deep breath.
Don’t procrastinate. It’s the only chance… He knows it as well as you do, or he would not agree to such an encroachment.
Beneath her touch, the pulse at his temple was light and not quite regular. Despite the clinging dirt, his hair was silky as she sought the place that would initiate the meld.
Though she’d never attempted this before, the neural connecting points were almost like magnets. It must be an ancient, primal instinct, long buried beneath centuries of more civilized behavior, that drew one finger toward a spot near his ear.
It’s the only chance…
If this didn’t work could they still find Captain Archer in this complex of tunnels?
Another finger brushed the curve of Trip’s cheek and rested there.
The only chance…
If this didn’t work, could the attempt kill Trip or leave him permanently damaged?
The only chance…
She had known him long enough to realize it was a chance Trip would willingly take.
A third finger slipped into place over a blood crusted spot above his eye.
“My mind…” The spoken words rasped through her tight, dry throat.
The yet unspoken ones seemed to falter somewhere between her thoughts, her fingers and the places where they rested against Trip’s skin. From fear? Or revulsion?
I’m sorry, Trip. It’s not you that makes me wish to pull away. It’s me and this act.
She would not be able to look him in the face after this, or work in companionable silence before a computer display. How could she sit next to him watching some strange ancient recording during his beloved “movie night” once she had shamed them both by performing this abominable meld? Still, she must continue, for all their sakes.
“…to your mind…”
No! It was Tolaris, looming out of her memory. She could almost hear her own cries of fear and protest as the V’Tosh Katur’s mind stormed into hers, full of its own sense of rightness and a wild, zealous joy.
She couldn’t do this!
But it’s the only chance… Only chance… Only…
She pressed her eyes tightly shut as though that would erase the sight of him, then shouted in silent defiance. You are no part of this! You’re only a memory!
Tolaris was gone. She was floating free with no sense this time of being pulled in a direction she didn’t want to go, but only toward Trip’s waiting presence.
He would not hurt her. He had no cause to impose his will on her or convert her to another pattern of thought than her own. The only agenda he might have was the one they already shared.
There was only an instant for a question to form. If they- no, when they- joined…?
“My thoughts to your thoughts.” She heard her voice speaking from somewhere small and distant.
…when they melded…?
Would Trip’s memories course across her mind like a stream of ideas? Would she stand apart as herself and observe in flashes the events of these past hours? Or would they unfold as though she saw through his eyes?
In that other meld there had been too much struggle, too much betrayal for her to recall much of what the experience itself had been like.
That wasn’t happening here.
“Our minds are together,” said her distant voice.
A heartbeat later it was joined in harmony by another.
“Our minds are one.”
T'Pol's conflicts about the meld come through clearly. It's interesting that one of her big fears is that she will never be able to relate to Trip in the same ways again. She attributes that concern to her shame about the act but I wonder if she is really afraid of what he might learn about her and how he might react. On the other hand, Trip doesn't seem to have any concern. He doesn't know as much about melds as T'Pol (who clearly doesn't know much) and he isn't able to think clearly but I think T'Pol is right that if he was lucid and well informed, he would still take the risk.
Now there's a brilliant idea if I ever saw one :) I'm all for sitting around a kitchen table and knocking a few beer back.
I absolutely love this story so far. For a debut it is surely one of the best stories around here.
How vividly we can see her revulsion for what she's about to do. And at the same time, it's thoroughly charming to see those little everyday glimpses of happiness are that she's giving up - the shared indulgences with Trip that are so important to her. The needs of the many, damn them.
I am somewhat surprised that T'Pol would want to do a mind meld, but desperate times leads to desperate measures. I am very glad T'Pol has found Trip (at least!) and finally 'the mind meld' Yeah! I can't wait to see what comes next. As for the short chapters, it works, because you post the chapters shortly after each other. But I am still glad we got some action in this chapter and our favorite couple together!
Tsk tsk, Asso! Listening in on other people's mind melds!
Grin!
I'm not so sure that T'Pol is doing a good thing. Who knows what she will find in the mind of Trip? Maybe ... the same thing that he will find in her mind? Interesting question. Time will tell (and, personally, I have every intention to listen to it).
I've been going back through earlier chapters tonight, scooping up all the feedback and ideas. God, this is so exciting. I wish we could all just be sitting around this big kitchen table, knocking back coffee, beer, apple cider, plomeek broth or any other personal favourites and talking TnT face to face- quite likely til break of day. I imagine we'd probably be interrupting the hell out of each other with all the ideas flying .
Sorry again for the short chapters. If I hadn't already finished the story, I'd redo 'em. Not, that doesn't mean I'll tell you how it all comes out. Sorry about that, too. (Hint: don't be too worried about chapter one.)
As long as I'm repeating myself- for all the great feedback from everybody (and the suggestion about For Want of A Nail which I'll check out tomorrow since I have the day off) Thank you, thank you thank you!
LOL. Yes, thanks for the warning last chapter! I'll be waiting eagerly to see how it all comes out.