Okay, I don't normally post anything unbetaed, but I figured this was meant to be kinda screwed up and maybe a little silly, so I wasn't going to get too bent out of shape about it.
Constructive feedback is always welcome.
The Drunk Dial
By Aquarius
MAIN CHARACTERS: Trip/T'Pol.
SETTING/GENRE: Sometime after T'Pol and Trip take a break so T'Pol can "find herself" in Season Four. Very AU, and very ridiculous. ;-p
RATING: PG-13, for profanity, adult situations, and suggestive song lyrics. (Don't ask.)
SUMMARY: It's shore leave. Trip's friends take him out to cruise chicks and drink beer so he can forget about how heartbroken and frustrated he is over T'Pol; T'Pol comes in from her evening of doing Vulcan stuff and checks her messages before bed.
DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns the characters and situations this story is based on. What I've done with them, however, belongs to me and me alone. This is a labor of love; nobody made any money from this—who in their right mind would pay to read it any way???
Commander T'Pol's message center:*BEEP!*YOU HAVE SEVENTEEN NEW MESSAGES
FIRST UNHEARD MESSAGE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21. 2154, 11:43 PM
"Uh, hi, T'Pol. It's me, Trip. Uh…whatcha doin'? Uh, listen, I know we haven't talked in a while, but me an' the guys are down at the 602 Club, an' I was thinkin', you know…well, uh, maybe you'd wanna come down if you're not busy? Uh…okay, bye."
*click*
*BEEP!*SECOND UNHEARD MESSAGE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2154. 11:49 PM
"Yeah, hi, T'Pol. It's Trip again. Listen, sorry 'bout that last message. Uh, maybe it was a bad idea sooooooo…forget the whole thing. Never mind. But, you know, go ahead and gimme a call…if you wanna. Bye."
*click*
*BEEP!*THIRD UNHEARD MESSAGE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2154. 11:57 PM
"T'Pol? It's Trip. I know I jus' called but I was wunnerin' if you got mah message yet? About that last one…yeah, sorry, I didn't wanna make it soun' like I don't wanna see ya…'cause I
do wanna see ya. But, like, only if
you wanna see
me, okay? So, uh, go ahead and gimme a call or sumpin', okay? Bye."
*click*
*BEEP!*FOURTH UNHEARD MESSAGE: SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2154 12:05 AM
"Hey, Trip again. Uh, look, the guys are sayin' sumpin' 'bout leavin' soon an' goin' to the Bloated Goat or some crazy shit instead. I dunno. Any way, we're gonna be here anudder half hour, so…gimme a call, or show up. Bye."
*click*
*BEEP!*FIFTH UNHEARD MESSAGE: SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2154 12:16 AM
"Hey, you're not really there, blowin' me off, are ya? The guys jus' ditched me while I was in the john. Malcolm's all pissed at me 'cause he says I won't shut the hell up 'bout ya. Whatever. 'Kay. Keepin' a bar stool warm for ya."
*click*
*BEEP!*SIXTH UNHEARD MESSAGE: SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2154, 12:21 AM
"T'Pol!! They got karara….krokie…karaoke in here! Sheck it out!!
When Ah lose mahself
Ah wan' you ta fin' me
When Ah f'rget mahself
Ah wan' you to re-miiiiiiiin' me
Ooooooooooooooooh—
Ah don' wan' anybody else!
When Ah think aboutchu
Ah touch mahself!
AH TOUCH MAHSELF!"*click*
*BEEP!*SEVENTH UNHEARD MESSAGE: SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2154, 12:31 AM
(*rustle..rustle..rustle…..hiss…rustle…skitter…*) (muffled) "SONOFABITCH!"
*click*
*BEEP!*EIGHTH UNHEARD MESSAGE: SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2154, 12:33 AM
"Commander T'Pol, this is your lucky day! The Arthur Murray School Of Dance has selected you to win ten free bossa nova lessons! There's no obligation—simply press or say 'one' and we'll get the enrollment process started right away!"
*click*
*BEEP!*NINTH UNHEARD MESSAGE, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2154, 12:39 AM
"T'Pol? You there? Ah know yer still up! Ah know itsh late, but how 'bout a little neuropreshure? For old timesshake? Whaddya shay, babe? C'mon…Ah'll be right o'er an' Ah'll show ya my sexy dance again…we'll get all nekkid, an'...WHERE'S THAT WAIDRESS WID MAH BEER?!?!"
*click*
*BEEP!*TENTH UNHERARD MESSAGE: SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2154, 12:47 AM
"Am Ah fallin' outta dis chair…?"
*click*
*BEEP!*ELEVENTH UNHEARD MESSAGE: SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22. 2154. 12:53 AM
(unrestrained sobbing) "T'Pol, baby, come baaaaaaaack! PLEEEEEEEEZE!! Ah can' hannle dis anymore! Ah NEEEEEEEED you!! Ah…Ah…"
(pause) "WHAT. KIND. OF. SEXSHUAL. FAVOR. DOES. A. GUY. HAFTA. DO. TO. GET. A. NUDDER. BEER. IN. HERE?!?!"
*click*
*BEEP!*TWELFTH UNHEARD MESSAGE: SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2154, 1:01 AM
(*flush*) "Aw, shee-it…not again!"
*click*
*BEEP!*THIRTEENTH UNHEARD MESSAGE: SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2154, 1:15 AM
"Hi, T'Pol. It's Jon. Ah, we were actually wondering if you've seen Trip? He was supposed to meet us at the Bloated Goat almost an hour ago and he hasn't shown up yet. No big deal, I guess. Any way, if you get this message and you're still up, maybe we could get together and—"
*click*
*BEEP!*FOURTEENTH UNHEARD MESSAGE, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2154. 1:17 AM
"Baby, pick up, pleeeeeeeze!! T'Pol? AH'M IN HELLLLLLLLL!! Ah don' unnerstan'…Ah thought everythin' was gonna be okay when ya got yer annumulin…ammuln…allunm…aluminum…divorce fr'm that jackhole Koss, an'--"
*click*
*BEEP!"FIFTEENTH UNHEARD MESSAGE, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2154, 1:28 AM
(silence)
*click*
*BEEP!*SIXTEENTH UNHEARD MESSAGE, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2154, 1:29 AM
(silence)
*click*
*BEEP!*SEVENTEETH UNHEARD MESSAGE, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2154, 2:07 AM
"Uh, hi, T'Pol? Uh, it's Trip…Ah'm at the po-lice station, an' Ah was wunnerin if you could come get me? An' bring bail money? Ah really screwed up, an' Ah'm sorry. Oh, an' don' tell Jon. He'll kill me. Uh…thanks."
*click*
*BEEP!*END OF MESSAGES
* * *
T'Pol closed her eyes and drew a deep, resigned breath. The last few minutes had been tumultuous…chaotic...excruciating. She did her best to quiet her mind and find her center.
Eyeing her coat in its resting place, she knew she faced a decision:
To purchase the coffee and aspirin before she collected Trip from the detoxification cell, or after?
It was already going to be a long day…
END