Post a Scene

[Asso]

Pretty good really.

[CX]

Here's a semi-season appropriate scene from the episode I'm currently having to pull my own teeth to get written. I'd appreciate any feedback anyone can offer.

INT. ENTERPRISE – MESS HALL

We FOCUS on the door as it opens to admit Phlox and Cutler into the room, chatting happily with each other about something we can’t quite hear. We PAN to follow them, but PULL BACK as we do so, and REFOCUS on the foreground as our pan brings us to a table, occupied by Major Reed, Commander Tucker, and Sub-Commander T’Pol. The three friends sit more or less equidistantly from each other over their respective meals. Reed and Tucker seem to be enjoying theirs a lot more than T’Pol, who seems more intent on rearranging the green vegetables on her plate than on eating it. It’s also where most of her focus is, though Trip and Reed don’t notice, immersed in their own conversation.

TUCKER
I think that’s about the most fun I’ve had in months.

Reed gives Trip a wry smile.

REED
We could always ask Ensign Sato to make it a weekly event.

Trip shakes his head at that and forks into his dinner.

TUCKER
Woman’d probably clean us all out in no time.

Reed still has that semi-malicious expression on his face as he leans toward Trip for emphasis.

REED
Oh, I don’t know, I bet I could give her a run for her money.
(beat, mock consideration)
We could even have her give it a Halloween theme…
(beat)
You Americans still celebrate that old holiday, don’t you?

TUCKER
(mildly surprised)
What and you don’t?

Reed shakes his head, mostly serious now.

REED
I’ve was one for it, not even as a child.

TUCKER
(wryly)
I suppose you stayed home and studied.

REED
Not really, I just never saw the point of dressing up as some ghost or goblin and getting candy from perfect strangers.

Trip eyes the British man for a BEAT, earning him a confused stare from Reed.

TUCKER
(teasing)
I don’t know about a goblin, but I bet you’d make a perfect pirate.

Reed laughs at that.

REED
Right, and you’d make a perfect cowboy.

Trip smiles broadly at that.

TUCKER
Maybe we could have Hoshi organize a costume party while we’re at it.

REED
Ah yes, but what would the Sub-Commander go as?

T’Pol looks up at the mention of her name, just in time to see Trip giving her that same considering look he gave Reed a few moments ago, and gives him a raised eyebrow in return. He chuckles a little at that.

TUCKER
I think she’d make a perfect elf.
(beat)
She wouldn’t even have to wear a costume, really.

Both men pin T’Pol with smiles, but she can only look at them with confusion.

T’POL
What is an elf?

TUCKER
Oh, you’d probably have to do some research on “The Lord of the Rings” to get that one.

Reed rolls his eyes and sighs melodramatically.

REED
Please, the last thing we need is for you to go on about movies again.

T’Pol gives the two of them a slightly perturbed look before returning her attention to her plate.

T’POL
(sarcastically)
It appears you both had an interesting evening.

Trip is about to say something back when he looks down at her plate and notices her moving her food around. Reed sees this too, and briefly exchanges a concerned look with Trip. The engineer clears his throat, suddenly uncomfortable.

TUCKER
So, uh, what have you been up to lately?
(beat, awkwardly)
Working on any pet projects?

T’Pol doesn’t even look up at him.

T’POL
No.

T’Pol finally spears something on her plate and brings it to her mouth. There is an awkward silence among them for a BEAT, broken by Reed clearing his throat this time.

REED
By the way, Trip, I finally got around to starting on that letter to Maddie.
(beat, as Trip gives him his attention)
Have you given anymore thought to my offer?

TUCKER
I’ll mention it to Lizzy when I get home.
(beat)
She’ll probably go for it though.

Reed smiles weakly.

REED
I’ll be sure to tell Maddie to be expecting company then.

There is silence for another BEAT as Reed and Tucker watch T’Pol rearrange her food again.

TUCKER
(reserved)
What about you, T’Pol?
(beat, as T’Pol makes eye contact)
Any plans for when we get to Earth? Maybe visit a few old colleagues?

T’Pol considers her answer for a BEAT.

T’POL
I do not have any recreational activities planned for our arrival. However, I do expect to spend the majority of our visit at the Vulcan consulate in San Francisco.

Trip offers her a warm smile.

TUCKER
Well, if you have time and think of it, we’d be happy to have you at our little get together.

T’Pol looks from Trip to Reed, both men giving her encouraging looks.

T’POL
I will … consider you’re offer.
(beat, rising from her seat)
If you will excuse me, Commander…
(nodding to each in turn)
…Major… I should return to the bridge.

Reed gives the Vulcan woman a curt nod.

TUCKER
(disappointed)
See ya around, Sub-Commander…

T’Pol picks up her tray and leaves the table. Tucker and Reed watch after her for a BEAT, then exchange concerned looks.

REED
You don’t suppose it’s possible for Vulcans to be depressed, do you?

Trip shrugs.

TUCKER
After some of the things I’ve seen out here, I’m willing to believe just about anything.

Off their concern, we

CUT TO:

[Linda]

I like the interaction, but can't guess where you are going with this yet. I'd like to read more.

[Asso]

I like the interaction, but can't guess where you are going with this yet. I'd like to read more.

Me too.

[CX]

I can't really share anything else or it might majorly spoil everyone.

Anyway, another poem since it's due tomorrow. Slightly less angry.


Useless Angst

I don’t think I’ll ever understand
What keeps us apart, yet together
I know you have feelings for me
Even if you deny having any emotion
If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have made love to me
You were jealous, admit it
Just like I admitted being jealous of my clone

You told me it was just an exploration
But I was there that night to
In case you didn’t notice
I’ll always remember the bronze of your skin
In the candlelight
The heat, the scent, the sounds you made
That we made together

I was insulted by the talk we had that morning
But I knew, hoped, you were lying
You did everything you could to prove me wrong
I almost started to believe you
Until you showed me your heart again
By comforting me over the loss of my sister
So long ago

Things were turning around after that
After the world didn’t end
You took me home with you, I met your mother
But you married another man instead
I stood there and let my heart break again
But knew inside you need me to be there

Afterwards, I needed a break
You wanted to talk, needed my company
But I couldn’t even stand to be around you
Because of the pain you’d caused me again
It was stupid of me and I regret it
But you brought me all that way
Just to watch you give yourself to another man

I came around after your mother died
I’d heard that loser divorced you too
So I went to you to offer my shoulder
In case that Vulcan discipline needed a vacation
Instead you told me you needed your space
So we are parted again, though we see each other everyday

I have to get off of this ship
I can’t do this anymore, can’t be around you
Just seeing you tears me apart inside
Because of all this useless angst we put ourselves through
Even as you come to ask me to stay, which lets me know you still care
I can’t bring myself to admit that I have to leave because of you and you alone

I don’t know if it’s because I don’t want to hurt you
Or if I don’t want to admit you have so much power over me
But you’re gone now, so it doesn’t matter anymore
All I can do is pick up my bags and head out the door
And try to start things over on another ship with another crew

[krn]

AH! That Foundations scene raises too many questions - 'what' was so much fun? Will they actually have a costume party? OO! we get to meet Trip & Malcolms families! Will T'Pol show up? How'd the three of them become 'friends' as described? Why's T'Pol sad? What's Trip gonna do about it?

You evil evil man! Showing us the decandant desert, but we don't get to really taste it! WE WANT MORE!

ok... ok... calm.... breathe.... ...i'll be ok. a little rest.

[CX]

They were just playing a game of poker in Malcolm's room that Hoshi organized. No costume party, they were just teasing T'Pol and trying to include her in their fun. My main concern was if it came off corny or not.

[krn]

I've been known to offer up my share of corn -- and I didn't see any in this scene. Just a conversation between friends and a little good humored barbing.

It would be funny to see T'Pol try to learn poker. She'd constantly go out with bad cards until someone (namely Trip) taught her to bluff. A lesson she could then use against some Alien-of-the-week. Trip would be proud and Archer would be all confused.

[CX]

Here's a little tease for you all:

Trip did his best not to show how uncomfortable he really felt. For the entire journey, he'd been fooling himself into believing that the heat, thin air, and gravity of Vulcan had been exaggerated, but he now knew otherwise. Just the walk up to T'Pol's house had been very exhausting. He was definitely glad when T'Pol opened the door to a kind of outdoor foyer that contained a small garden. As he looked around he couldn't help but be taken in by the beauty of it all. The small talk he was making with her almost seemed to fade into the background.

"So, this is where you grew up?" he commented more to himself than to her.

"Meaning?" T'Pol inquired. Trip looked at her and could see that she thought he might be teasing her.

Might as well not disappoint her then…

"Well," he replied, trying to play innocent for as long as he could. "It's beautiful."

"Vulcans appreciate beauty," she stated flatly with one of the best expressions he'd coaxed out of her yet.

Trip couldn't help but smirk at that. "Well I had no doubt about that," he said sarcastically as he circled behind her. "You always were a snazzy dresser."

He couldn't help but think of the tight "uniforms" she usually wore and how they accentuated her form. Even the more casual clothing she wore now did a pretty good job of that.

Yup, Malcolm was right, he thought wryly to himself as he eyed her firm backside. She sure does have an awfully nice bum.

He was completely shameless about checking her out, and he couldn't help but enjoy the perturbed way she reacted to it. She spun around, dropping her bag down and clasping her hands behind her to obscure his view of her perfectly formed posterior even as she spun around to face him. She gave him a haughty look, but he could tell that she wasn't really that upset with him.

"Commander Tucker," she started in on him, emphasizing her use of his rank and last name. Trip prepared himself for a lecture, but her words suddenly trailed off as she looked at something behind him.

Quickly snapping his head around to see what had drawn T'Pol's attention, Trip found himself looking at a very striking Vulcan woman. His expression went completely blank and he was embarrassed to no end for being caught flirting up T'Pol in front of who he assumed to be her mother. Still, on top of wondering how much more of a bad first impression he could've made, he couldn't help but be amazed at the sight of this second Vulcan woman, who was gazing at him intently with eyes that were every bit as blue as his own.

Wow! Guess that's where some of her good looks came from.

Her hair was starting to grey and there were some wrinkles on her face, but she was still very much attractive. She only stood a little taller that T’Pol, but she carried herself with great authority. She was almost exactly as he had imagined her.

She held her gaze until she had almost reached him and T'Pol, then quickly turned her attention to her daughter. "You didn't tell me you were bringing a guest," the older woman told T'Pol in an almost condescending manner.

Trip couldn't help but get a sinking feeling in his stomach as he watched what played out in front of him.

T'Pol was definitely surprised. Her words might have seemed very bland, but she clearly hadn't been expecting to see her mother home until after they'd had a chance to settle in for a while. Her mother's reply inspired little confidence that this initial meeting might somehow recover itself and go as smoothly as the engineer had hoped it would. T'Pol actually looked a little scared, even, when her mother did suddenly change her tone to tell her that it was "agreeable" to see her again.

Not one to let himself get too intimidated, Trip was tired of feeling the odd man out and decided to do something about it. He ended up introducing himself of his own accord, much the same way he'd done when he first met T'Pol.

"I'm Charles Tucker," he said hopefully, resisting the urge to extend his hand. "Pleased to meet you, ma'am."

This drew the older Vulcan's gaze once again. Her jaw moved slightly, as if she was about to say something, but thought better of it. He exchanged a brief look with T'Pol and remembered the ta'al thing he'd talked with her about. As his bag was over his right shoulder, he raised his left hand and did his best to faithfully give T'Pol's mother the famous Vulcan salute. She actually seemed to be a little surprised and bemused at this, but she quickly returned it.

Naturally, just to be consistent with the nose-dive his day seemed to have taken, the other woman quickly turned her attention back to her daughter and spoke to her in their native language, as if he wasn't even standing there. He hoped T'Pol wasn't being read the riot act, but it was a bit harder for him to tell what was going on, the strange language distracting his otherwise good feel for reading body language. What he saw didn't look good though.

He was a little relieved when they were invited in, but not by much. He couldn't help but feel that things weren't boding well as he made his way back to the house's guest room.

[blacknblue]

You are reproducing the Home episode with unnerving faithfulness. I sincerely hope that you don't end up making me dislike T'Les all over again. I had to struggle with mixed feelings of resentment and contempt over that woman for quite a while. The nice thing about fan fiction is that it lets us have a chance to fix what went wrong, should we choose to make use of it.

On the other hand, if you just want to re-tell the episode from Trip's viewpoint, there is nothing wrong with that either. It is turning out to be quite engrossing, either way. But if Koss ends up with her again, I may not have the stomach to finish it.

[Kevin Thomas Riley]

Heh! I liked the references to T'Bum!

[CX]

I was thinking of you when I wrote that KTR.

I also took a shot at the catsuits in there.

Bnb, this is supposed to fit in with ENT's canon as closely as possible, so the same things still happen as in the episode. I do go to different characters as in the first three parts, though, and there's even one in there from T'Les's perspective. I tried to end it as well as I could given the circumstances, but it was pretty difficult and I still have mixed feelings about it.

Part IV is also the longest of the four. It's actually long enough that I could've split half of it into another part, but I didn't feel like it.

[blacknblue]

But why? This bewilders me. You don't have to stick with that farce of an episode. Which, as we all know, was written the way it was for no other reason than to introduce more angst for angst sake. You are the author. You can change anything you want. Why make us suffer through it all again?

*sigh*

[CX]

Because that was why I started writing this fic. I never set out to do something AU. It would be tempting to do an AU ending, but if I want to do AU, that's what Foundations is for - I don't have to adhere to anything established in ENT with my series.

[blacknblue]

Indeed. It is your story, and you are the author. Whichever way you choose to take it, you are doing an unsettlingly good job of reproducing the original feeling of distress that the original evoked in me.

Thus, of course, you leave me no choice but to vent but long suppressed spleen in Purgatory. I had considered the possibility of mercy toward Koss, since he turned out to be such a hopeless dweeb in my 'verse. But not now. No way.