My Long and Probably Serpentine Review of New Moon

[Elessar]

Yeah, I don't know what S Meyer's husband is like, but abstinence is not the normal order for men. Edward's pretty amazingly chaste.

"No! I can't do it!!! I'm in FOOOOOORKS!" ...and so forth

Where there's no sunshine, sex, or apparently, pale introverted emotional teenage girls with plain looks and heroin blood.

[enterprikayak]

Yeah, and about that heroin blood...I mean what about when you're on the rag? Do you just hide from your rabid boyfriend for a week? Or what? I figured maybe Bella had an abnormal reproductive cycle (on account of her being so needy and all) but then Alice packed all those tampons in Bella's suitcase in Breaking Dawn. Sooooooooooooo......


I just don't know what to think.

I just don't know.

[Elessar]

Yeah, and about that heroin blood...I mean what about when you're on the rag? Do you just hide from your rabid boyfriend for a week? Or what? I figured maybe Bella had an abnormal reproductive cycle (on account of her being so needy and all) but then Alice packed all those tampons in Bella's suitcase in Breaking Dawn. Sooooooooooooo......


I just don't know what to think.

I just don't know.

LOL, did he? I wouldn't think Alice would know to do that. I didn't think tampons existed the last time Alice had a period. LOL, wow, what a great vampire discussion: familiarity with female hygiene products based on date-of-conversion.

I have more review information for New Moon:

The kid playing Alec is a pretty bad actor. I only passively noticed last time because he only has like 2 lines but I paid attention this time (I saw it again tonight with the mom and sister, that's #3), and he just delivers his lines terribly to Jane. They're so flat.

Some of the musical sequences fit better after the 2nd time. I actually saw it the second time like last week some time, and the musical collages they had that I didn't like the first time made more sense the 2nd time.

One thing that you notice more on repeat views is something I heard a reviewer call "pretentious" attempts at drama. It's only pretentious if it doesn't work... the gamble that Chris Weitz, the director, took, is that he's got all these real young, inexperienced actors who... as a rule... aren't going to be able to NAIL dramatic pauses and dramatic deliveries. Good examples are several of Jacob's 'what-are-meant-to-be-heart-wrenching-words' that you're just like... ok... you sound like you're in "I'm in a movie" mode, now.

Jackson Rathbone finally gets to say or do something more than 2 words long, which is cool, he'll get a lot of screen time in Eclipse.... WHICH, I read some really facking awesome things about (but won't spill! ).

My mom thinks Kristen Stewart's a terrible actress but I think she's good enough.

Oh, and I can't believe I forgot to mention this last time.... I'm going to have to pull my copy of New Moon out and see if I can figure out what these two lines are...

There are two lines of foreign language... one where Jacob's about to kiss Bella in her kitchen, right before Edward calls (which, incidentally, in the book, to Jacob's defense, he actually thought it was Carlisle, he didn't knowingly hear Edward's voice and not tell Bella)... he is about to kiss her and he says something in his native dialect... the other is Aro. At one point he says something about "cantante" which I know is the line about how she's "a singer" (her blood sings to Edward), but there's another one, which I think is in Latin, but I'm not sure. I'd be curious what he's saying.

[Distracted]

You could always look it up.

http://scriptcollector.blogspot.com/2009/11/twilight-saga-new-moon-2009-screenplay.html

[Alelou]

Hey, EK, ABC Nightly News had a feature on the "gloomy" town of FORKS tonight!

[Elessar]

Hey, EK, ABC Nightly News had a feature on the "gloomy" town of FORKS tonight!

Oh and I missed it!? I need a smiley that's stomping its foot right now!

[Alelou]

Check the website -- they might have put the story up there.

[Linda]

I STILL have not seen New Moon. Was supposed to on Saturday but the Geek Squad guy from Best Buy was late with a house call to help us set up networking my laptop in my basement writing lair to my husband's desktop computer on the second floor so I could finally be online at home. It was a special deal to have a house call when you bought the hardware. I hate it when they say they (any service coming to your house), say "we will be there sometime between 8 am and 12 pm and then they show up at 1 pm.

[Elessar]

I STILL have not seen New Moon. Was supposed to on Saturday but the Geek Squad guy from Best Buy was late with a house call to help us set up networking my laptop in my basement writing lair to my husband's desktop computer on the second floor so I could finally be online at home. It was a special deal to have a house call when you bought the hardware. I hate it when they say they (any service coming to your house), say "we will be there sometime between 8 am and 12 pm and then they show up at 1 pm.

Yeah and I know from experience that the delay is really just because they just feel like leaving their afternoon open so they have plenty of time to screw off and still get their in-house work done and then just eventually getting around to going on their service call.

When I worked service calls, we scheduled down to the minute. My boss would tell our customer I'd be there at 1:30 and I better damn well be there at 1:30. Same with local service calls where I work now. Our business is mostly nationwide over the phone and remotes, but occasionally I go work on cameras at my old high school (Jefferson City High School), Lincoln University, Central Bank and Central Dairy.

[Linda]

Okay, next time I need a service call I'm asking for them to send ELESSAR...to fix the computer or sevice the washing machine or repair the furnace or fix the plumbing or re-tar around the chimmny on the roof. At least I know the service call will be on time!

[Elessar]

Okay, next time I need a service call I'm asking for them to send ELESSAR...to fix the computer or sevice the washing machine or repair the furnace or fix the plumbing or re-tar around the chimmny on the roof. At least I know the service call will be on time!

even if I'm there a week trying to learn to do any of that other than fixing the computer . Actually if it's electronics like a furnace, I might have a shot

[Elessar]

Something I forgot to mention that's New Moon related...

One thing I loved was that all of Kristen Stewart's "awkward-girl-not-liking-guy-as-much-as-guy-likes-girls" moments were spot-on. I know these reactions from experience , and when she is in the theater with Jacob, there are two things that are perfect:

1. when he takes her hand and is like "mustbe that flu that's..." he takes her hand... "going aroooooooooooouuuuuuuuuund" she lets go of his hand. Pretty much perfectly realistic "this is awkward I'm letting go nicely but making a funny noise to tell you it's unwelcomed".

2. Jacob asks why he can't hold her hand and she says that it means something different to him than it does to her (been told that), and also the way she looks, just her little facial expressions, like trying to be nice but also honest... totally seen that before

Um, what're some others... I don't know. Those two came to mind.

[Bether6074]

Does she ever remind you of a Vulcan? She underplays just about everything. It's almost amusing at times.

[Elessar]

Does she ever remind you of a Vulcan? She underplays just about everything. It's almost amusing at times.

yeah, I suppose. Bella's kind of like that though. She's a bottler. She's either very relaxed or just bursting at the seams like when he left or when he talked about it at the end of Twilight.

[justTripn]

OK, I finally saw the movie New Moon. I read/skimmed through most of Twilight, but not the whole thing. I didn't see any Twilight movies that preceded this one so my minor complaints might not be the fault of the movie.

First impressions: I don't like the looks of the Edward character in the movie. I was very disappointed that the makeup was so obvious. It is an irrational prejudice of mine that I don't want to see obvious makeup on men. (I make an exception for Michael Jackson, but maybe that is the exception that proves the rule. By the way, Bella looked a little like Lisa Marie Presley.) But I can get past that and realize that the actor is a stand-in for the character in the book, who of course was outrageously handsome. I was sorry they couldn't translate that better onto film.

Bella was I guess portrayed very faithfully to the book, but I just wanted to shake her and shout, SMILE ONCE!!!! Just once!!! I began to feel sorry for the people around her because they couldn't do anything for her. And yes, true to form, I was rooting for Jake. I found him an appealing interesting character and I felt that he had a chemistry with Bella. Because I didn't see the previous movie, I didn't understand why Bella was so miserable even before her boyfriend left. I didn't understand why Edward was so miserable and I was hoping he would wow us all with that witty, cocky stuff he would say to Bella in the book. But he left before I could get a sense of his character and get over my aversion to his lipstick.

Anyhow, it was a surprisingly enjoyable movie. I was involved with the plot. I didn't know what would happen next and Jake kind of provided a soulfulness to everything. I loved the CGI with the wolves. The suicide attempt was very dramatic and I hate to say "pretty," but it was with the cliff and the waves and Edward etc. All of the movie was very pretty and achieved the right dark, woodsy, FOOORRKKKS-like atmosphere.

As for similiarities between Edward and Bella and Trip and T'Pol, I just don't see any. Most obviously, Trip and T'Pol were adults and trying to explore the galaxy/save Earth. They have some broad purpose and a focus outside their own mutual attraction. Bella is very young and it is perfectly understandable that she go through a phase where her whole world revolves around the pain of her breakup, but anyway . . . That is the most obvious difference for me. I do want to shout at Bella, you will survive!!! Pick Jake. I also understand if one is writing a romance, that would be a very bad plot choice.