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i agree piecing together Archer speeches could be a deadly weapon. The only thing i enjoyed about the ep was the sole Malcolm favorite food plot line. Captain Archer, inconsistent space cadet, boldly moves forward while randomly changing directions. "Dinner and a show was a great line."
In general it seemed that the show lost direction here. Seems to little ole me that they would have had a few more plots ready when they started this series, I guess they never felt that they had to have them, as they would have time, they won't cancel us!

Dear Doctor

We open in Sickbay and Phlox is doing the morning feeding. Lots of work for the puppeteers and prop makers. Yum, blue gummy worms!

Phlox is one of my favorite characters. I think Billingsley did a lot with his performance.

And now Hoshi is delivering the mail. Why is Enterprise running on sneakernet? Well, it gives us a chance for some exposition and we learn that Phlox is corresponding with Dr. Lucas, the first Human doctor to work on Denobula.

Dr. Lucas is busy with deliveries on Denobula, but also mentions that it's mating season. In most species, delivers come significantly AFTER mating season, but then Trek nerds are a little sketchy on the whole reproduction thing anyway, so I guess it just slipped past.

Phlox is now dictating his return letter. He recommends some drug to separate the two "combatants" - guess Denobulans may be a bit like dogs in that way. Casanova would have been in big trouble.

Burns and Porthos farts are on the treatment list today. And now it's movie night with Crewman Cutler! Denobulans apparently find gossip more interesting than fiction. I don't recognize the movie but it's got Trip crying.

Phlox and Liz are walking back to the corridor and Phlox is pouring cold water on her when she gives him a kiss on the cheek and leaves him completely confused.

Oh boy, we've found a spaceship with a couple of lifesigns on board. Yes, let's bring it right on board! Well, nobody is named Ripley on the crew so it should be OK.

And our mystery aliens turn out to be medical refugees looking for people with warp technology who would obviously have all the answers to their plague. T'Pol signs off on helping them because they've met other warp capable species before. This point should probably be remembered for later.

Hoshi is practicing her Denobulan on Phlox in the galley and trying to get Phlox to blush. Hoshi seems to be having a lot more trouble with Denoublan than she does with most languages.

Enterprise reaches the new planet. It's a pretty high-tech place with lots of space ships, satellites and shiny CGI cities. And a high-tech hospital, though it's overflowing with patients. And we meet the Menk who are "not as evolved as Valakians". And Esaak has been presuming that Archer and T'Pol are from the same planet which T'Pol is not pleased about. "We may look alike but the similarity ends there" Yes, we just happen to look like Humans with pointy ears but never mind.

Phlox is still confused about what, if anything, is going on in Liz Cutler's head so he decides to discuss it with T'Pol. Who has a cavity and is not pleased about it. T'Pol tells him "In my experience, Humans lack the emotional maturity for interspecies relationships." which leads me to wonder just what her experience is, but we've beaten that dead horse.

Phlox comes to the see the Captain and now it's time to deliver some heavy news. The Valakians are suffering from some kind of genetic malady and will be extinct in two centuries. OK, and here we get some of deh stupid in the writing - the Menk aren't related, the Valakians are suffering from a genetic anomaly, so why would studying the Menk yield any insights into the problem? And two centuries is a long time to figure out what the problem is.

Phlox, Cutler and Hoshi go to visit a Menk encampment. Of course, because the Menk are a primitive species they have to use tiki torches and the universal translator can only translate their language to text that Hoshi has to read off the screen. Liz, of course, as an English speaker knows that if you speak slowly and loudly everyone will understand you. And, hey, the Menk do pick up English pretty quick.

Liz is upset with the way the Valakians are treating the Menk and this leads Phlox to give a little cultural lesson on Denobulan poly-something but Liz isn't looking to be wife #4, just a friend with benefits.

Archer's visiting Mr Medical Refugee back in the hospital and gets a plea for sharing warp technology so the Valakians can go wandering around looking for drugs. Maybe Archer should just call home and get some more help. Nah, that'd be too logical.

Strangely, Enterprise is in orbit but apparently hasn't contacted the government(s) of the planet. Seems kind of unfriendly.

T'Pol and Archer have a conversation about giving warp technology to the Valakians and T'Pol reveals the Green Man's Burden ""The Vulcans stayed to help Earth ninety years ago. We're still there." - Oh come on, admit it, you guys just hung around for the chocolate.

Down in Sickbay Phlos has some form of heavy insight before we fade to commercial. Heavy insight requires pie, so we next find him in the galley where Archer is drowning his sorrows in iced tea.

Now we get a little ethical quandary on whether or not they should interfere with evolution. I think the idea of there being an ethical problem here is good, but the way it's presented doesn't really make a lot of sense. Oh well, let's just accept that there's an ethical dilemma of some form. Oh boy, and Phlox has a cure (in two days) but doesn't want to share it with the Valakians.

After lying to the Valakians, Enterprise takes off and Hoshi is playing messenger girl again. And we end with Phlox having a late night snack with Liz.

There was a lot to like about this episode. I do have a problem with the central thesis, though. Evolution tends to get treated like some process that is moving towards a goal with some species being "more" or "less" evolved, when really it's just a process of being best able to survive in an environment. Helping the Valakians doesn't automatically mean holding the Menk back and I have to wonder about a starship captain making the decision about whether or not to open relations with a new planet. Overall, though, I enjoyed seeing a lot more of Phlox and I did like that the ethical dilemma was not just waved away. It's one of the better episodes of the first season.

It was an interesting episode, but Phlox is a doctor, right? Isn't his task to help sick people? Phlox has the cure and he denies it for those sick people because of what... he thinks the Menk should take over the planet? Why should he make that choice for the Valakians?

(BTW I like your reviews, Putaro!)

Good points Panyasan! I agree, Phlox should be looking to help sick people. Medicine is pretty much fighting against evolution, isn't it, so Phlox's stance in favor of non-interference seemed strange. If the Valakians were a primitive species it might make more sense but they have spacecraft and they treat the Menk fairly well so why leave them to their own destruction. The Menk were changing anyhow and there's no real reason why having the Valakians around would stop their change. In fact, the Valakians might even be responsible for the change! Maybe Menk that were able to work inside of the highly technical and complex Valakian system are more successful and have more children.

Doctors are strange people, I agree, but Phlox is outside the box, usual and unusual.
I'm sorry to say it (or reiterate it), but - personally - I do not find Phlox to my taste.
Phlox is a doctor who knows everything, is acquainted with everything. And he never takes the right decision.
My opinion, of course. My personal opinion.

In the tail, this little notation. I like "Putaro's Enterprise rewatch Reviews & Snarkfest."
Better than Phlox. Without a doubt.

Things have been awfully quiet around here lately. It's been a while, but summer's over so I'm back to watching Enterprise.

Sleeping Dogs

And we open with a phase pistol being loaded and locked. Hoshi is in the armory shooting at a remote while Malcolm critiques. C'mon, kids, don't you know you should use the Force? Sorry, wrong universe… Hoshi was apparently better with the EM-33 but this new phase pistol you actually have to point AT the target when you pull the trigger. Wow, sounds complicated, I can understand why she's having problems. Malcolm thinks she's too tense. Why don't you offer her a neck rub, then, big boy?

Enterprise drops out of warp, with lots of sound effects, and Malcolm is able to check a wall panel and instantly know that they're approaching a gas giant. What, is Travis sending out tweets from the helm?

OK, and now we're launching probes into the gas giant. There's lots of interference and when they put it on the speakers it sounds vaguely whale like. Travis calls them "siren calls" and apparently it's right up there with the Prairie Home Companion for audio entertainment on boomer ships.

T'Pol thinks they're wasting their time since there are four gas giants back in Earth's solar system to study. Hey, T'Pol, tell us about the one that starts with U! And now T'Pol has found an anomalous power signature and life signs in the lower atmosphere! Oh boy, it's a Klingon ship!

Malcolm is in sick bay with a cold and whining. Still no cure for the common cold! Do they have flying cars on Earth at this time?

Hoshi is in the Ready Room trying to get Archer to send her along on the away team. Sounds like they haven't figured out that it's a Klingon ship yet. But Hoshi, the last time we sent you on an away team you screamed like a little girl!

T'Pol, Malcolm and Hoshi are suiting up for their mission. T'Pol and Malcolm are both giving Hoshi a hard time.

The shuttle leaves Enterprise and heads for the derelict. And now this, this exchange…

Malcolm: It's one hundred kilometres below us, still descending.
T'Pol: Gravity's pulling it deeper into the atmosphere.

Thank you, Dr. Science! My hopes for scientific accuracy are shortly dashed when the shuttlepod enters an eddy of liquid helium. Sorry, kids, no liquid helium that high up.

Malcolm parks the shuttle craft the way I parallel park in San Francisco - with a bumper check. They get inside and naturally, as soon as they ever enter an alien space craft, the first thing they do is take their helmets off. T'Pol and Hoshi think it's stinky so they want to leave their helmets closed. You know, that would ALWAYS be the right thing to do.

They find some writing on the wall that Hoshi identifies as Klingon and everyone pulls out their phase pistols. And we've found some very hairy, very unmoving Klingons. T'Pol's all for leaving and letting the Klingons handle things themselves. Malcolm wants to argue - I guess they still haven't figured out the chain of command on Enterprise. And cut to the kitchen and a Klingon woman is still awake. Back to our intrepid away team and they're calling home for instructions. Archer says they have 20 minutes to do something for the Klingons and T'Pol's all, well, there's nothing to do so I'm leaving. The signal breaks up then which sounds like a great time to leave.

Malcolm and Hoshi continue to argue with T'Pol until Malcolm hears the awake Klingon creeping about and goes to investigate. And promptly get his ass kicked and she disappears through a door as T'Pol and Hoshi fire at her. Lights clunking noises follow and Hoshi asks "What's that?" and, again, Dr. Science fills in the obvious "It's our shuttlepod taking off." Guess Klingons have been taking English lessons or driving a shuttlepod is like riding a bike.

The shuttlepod is heading for open space and our Klingon survivor is bad-mouthing Enterprise to all who can hear. Enterprise grapples the shuttlepod and reels it in. Security heads to the shuttle bay but exercises the better part of valor and lets Archer and Trip head in first. They stun the Klingon gal and then Archer wants to take the shuttlepod down but the Klingon ship has sunk below the shuttlepod's safety limit so they'll just have to take Enterprise down after our carjacked away team.

Back on the Klingon ship T'Pol wants to fly out but Malcolm thinks it will be too hard. Without a better idea, though, T'Pol puts Hoshi to work translating the controls. They manage to find the helm station and then Malcolm starts pushing buttons at random. The ship is not doing well, but the communicator beeps and it's Archer and Enterprise coming to get them!

Oops, Enterprise is not rated for that much pressure and lets them know with some recycled WW II submarine movie noises. Guess you're on your own after all guys!

In sickbay, we've got our Klingon survivor strapped to a gurney Hannibal Lecter style. Why is she in sick bay and not the brig? If you stole my transport and I had a brig, that's where you'd be going for sure! She demands to speak to the captain and Trip has some helpful Klingon insights, warning Archer that if Klingons sense weakness in a leader they try to kill him and take command. She has lots of threats for Archer and he exits with "Remind me to stop trying to help people." That's probably a good idea, Jon!

Travis has found the specs for the Klingon ship in the Vulcan database. Earlier T'Pol said she didn't know about all the different types of Klingon ships so she's obviously been shirking. Trip has the idea of reinforcing a shuttle pod with some kind of technobabble and that's the best option they have.

Back on the Klingon ship they've found the ship's log. The Klingon captain has helpfully recorded what was broken so off they go. They find the port fusion injector with a Klingon draped over it.

Back on Enterprise they're installing the braces in the shuttlepod. Naturally there's no one else onboard qualified to use a welding rig so Archer is helping Trip install them while post-analyzing his performance with their resident Klingon. Trip tells Archer to "start thinking like a Klingon" to get her to help them.

Malcolm is getting the vapors on the Klingon ship so Hoshi is going to go to the galley to get some water for him. And, T'Pol has obviously been paying attention during Movie Night because she says "you shouldn't go alone." So off they go, leaving Malcolm by himself. Face palm.

Mmmm, gummy worms in the galley! Rather than looking for bottles marked Evian they are poking around in everything. Hoshi is stirring the soup and finds a skull and gets grossed out. And now something is banging around so of course they go to the source of the noise and open the door. And find a bunch of "targs" which freaks Hoshi out. She tells T'Pol she wishes she could just ignore her emotions like Vulcans do. T'Pol tells her to pull her finger, er, take her hand and gives her some pop psychology. But, enough of that, the ships starting to crumple.

Back on Enterprise, Trip's almost ready to go with the reinforced shuttlepod and Archer is boning up on his Klingon and reading up on them in the Vulcan database. Wouldn't this have been something to do before you tried delivering a Klingon courier back to their homeworld in the first episode? Just sayin'

Archer heads off to Sickbay. Phlox injects the Klingon woman and she wakes up and starts complaining. "Is this how you plan to gain my trust? First poison me, then miraculously cure me?" I think if Archer got Phlox to throw in some dental care they could seal the deal. Anyhow, it turns out that the Klingons got poisoned by some Xarantine ale they stole.

On the Klingon ship, Hoshi is firing off photon torpedoes to try to kick themselves higher. That really doesn't sound like a good idea…

Archer is in the shuttlepod with the Klingon woman giving him attitude from the back seat. Some explosions let them know that Malcolm and the Klingon ship are nearby.

On said Klingon ship, the photon torpedo blast hasn't lifted them far enough so after some arguing they decide to blow off all the remaining photon torpedoes at once and close by.

Archer docks with the ship and Officer Bu'kah is perfectly willing to try to fix the ship all by herself. "Right you are, good luck, cheerio," is the correct response but of course Archer insists on staying along with everyone else to try to fix the ship.

They get the ship fixed and get back to Enterprise. Just as Enterprise is about to leave, the Klingon captain wakes up and calls over to give them a cup of attitude. Archer actually manages to send it back, amazingly enough and Enterprise toodles off.

Malcolm, T'Pol and Hoshi are in decon. Decon is apparently really comfy, even though they're all just sitting on a bench, so they get Phlox to leave them in for another half an hour. Maybe they're just trying to avoid getting debriefed by Archer. And speaking of briefs, apparently Vulcan issues sexier underwear than Starfleet.

Working with Humans for so long has apparently gotten T'Pol used to their smell because when Hoshi asks "Do you smell that?" T'Pol, locked in a small room with two sweaty Humans, answers "I don't smell anything."

Good effects in this episode and not a bad premise. Archer and the Klingons are both overly annoying though so I think I have to rate this as a 3 out of 5.

Actually I was wondering if we were all dead in these parts. It is a relief to see that things are not so.
Delightful comment Putaro.
Among other things, I tried to post a new topic, but I got an error message.
Mah!

Still no flying cars. Instead, blankets with sleeves.

Great review, I enjoyed revisiting this episode.

Loving the snark!

Shadows of P'Jem

We open on a lovely view from Starfleet HQ onto Horseshoe Bay (that's a little bay in the big San Francisco Bay) and the Golden Gate Bridge. OK, now I'm homesick and I want some sourdough bread. But I digress…

Soval is whining about P'Jem and Enterprise to Admiral Forrest. Forrest is handing it right back. Soval announces that joint fleet operations have been suspended and exits, stage right. Forrest puts a call through to Archer and we fade to the credits.

Trip and Archer are having…breakfast it looks like. Elder Archer has found a new planet to bother, Coridan. Trip wants to go but Archer is lighting him up. Archer suggests Trip lend Hoshi his camera. I guess Enterprise is set in the post-selfie age.

Forrest's call goes through. He tells Archer that the Andorians have blown up P'Jem. He gives him some "look with your eyes, not your hands" instructions and then he has some more bad news…

T'Pol comes into the Ready Room looking very apprehensive. Archer informs her about P'Jem being blown up and also that she's being recalled to Vulcan. They go back and forth a bit on who's to blame and how much, but the main thrust is that they have managed to build a lot of trust and appreciation for each other. But, don't worry T'Pol, you're part of the regular cast! Snark aside, I thought this was a nice little scene.

Looks like Archer is back to ditching Trip for the their excursion. He wants some alone time with T'Pol.

Down in the galley, Phlox catches up with T'Pol and gives her a nice little pep talk. An interesting exchange - Phlox says "Isn't it logical to take pride in that accomplishment?" and T'Pol retorts with "Pride is a human indulgence." So, how about Phlox then? Denobulan, the last time I looked!

T'Pol and Archer take off in a shuttlepod for Coridan. After some small talk, they're under attack! I think the shuttlepod is more heavily armed than Enterprise is! But to no avail, because we cut to them tied up in a shed and Archer explaining Houdini to T'Pol.

And the Judean People's Liberation Front are here. They don't recognize Humans. Well, it's like this - Humans are what you get after you subtract all the funny head bumps. The leader seems to be channeling Willem Dafoe. Their phase pistols will be used in the revolution. Hold up there boyo, batteries are not included! And we continue with the tradition of Archer beatdowns.

The Coridan Chanellor is telling everyone back on Earth about what's happened and making excuses about the crash happening outside of their sensor grid. That sounds like baloney to me. Shuttlepods apparently lack things like emergency beacons because Enterprise seems to have no way of finding it easily.

Back in the shed Archer and T'Pol are trying to stand up back to back. And hey, they manage to do it! "If we manage to turn around, face each other," say T'Pol, "we could snog!" (oh, sorry, this isn't the AnT board is it?). Some untying and more P'jem grousing goes on. And we have another fall and this time they land with Archer's face buried in T'Pol's bosom (yes, I said bosom - she's wearing one of those cat suits which somehow manage to be as sexy as a pair of granny panties so bosom is the word that comes to mind). And they get all the ropes off. "Was it good for you?"

Just in time for the guard to come in and some Archer-fu but Willem Dafoe shows up to take all the fun out it.

Back on the ship, Malcolm and Trip are arguing. Malcolm's sure they've found the shuttlepod and is ready to go down and kick some ass. Just then Willem Dafoe calls them up and tells them he'll trade the captain and the steward for some phase pistols. But they can't trace the signal because of bafflegab. And Enterprise only has 15 phase pistols instead of the 40 that the rebels want. They must have found a whole bunch in a crate marked "Brussels Sprouts" later on because I'm sure they had more than 15 phase pistols in use later.

Captain Grumpy of the Navar calls up to tell them that they're arriving early (we're not early, your calculations were incorrect) and he wants to take T"Pol off right away. You know, people who show up early for dinner and meetings are one of my pet peeves, so Captain Grumpy is making no points with me. Instead of making up a story, Trip tells him the truth and gets some condescension in return.

A nice shot of the Navar and Enterprise in orbit. Is it just me or does the front view of Enterprise remind anyone else of the Robot from Lost in Space? Captain Grumpy has come over to Enterprise (guess they ran out of money for sets on this episode) and man, Vulcan ships sure do seem to come loaded for bear. Tactical assault teams and bad attitudes.

Trip tells Malcolm to "warm up the shuttlepod" as the Vulcans exit the bridge - with Vulcan hearing, he probably should have waited until the door closed at least.

Back in the shed, the Judean People's Liberation Front has apparently been looking up Japanese rope bondage on the Internet (you really don't want to do that at work) because Archer and T'Pol are well and thoroughly trussed up now. One of the guards brings them a couple of bowls of spinach dip but doesn't untie them so they can eat. Good thing that in the Star Trek universe the toilet is a thing of the past! And poor T'Pol winds up eating with her hands!

Oh boy, Archer's meal came with a prize in it!

Captain Grumpy calls Enterprise asking where the shuttlepod that just left is going and where's Trip. Hoshi does a great job of playing dumb. And what kind of starship can't track a shuttlepod going down to the surface?

Down on the surface, Trip and Malcolm are wandering about with a scanner (what happened to your assault team Malcolm??) when they get jumped on the street. And they're in a shed (that actually looks suspiciously like the one that Archer and T'Pol have been in, it really is cheap out on sets week) and their assailant is our fan favorite, Shran!

After explaining what idiots they are, he tells them that the Andorians think the Vulcans are preparing for a war against the Andorians. Shran appears to be willing to help which has Trip wondering why and Shran explains it's because he hates being indebted to anyone.

In the shed, Archer gets a call from Trip on the blinky light device he found in his spinach dip. Help is on the way!

Man, Coridan is one foggy place. Friar Trip comes walking up to the rebel compound and offers the guards some Andorian ale. Oh, yes, we've forgotten about the universal translators again, haven't we? Oh well, never mind.

The Andorians' inside guy opens up the wall to let them in and now is the part of the show where we run around with phase pistols. But just then there's a big explosion and a bunch of Vulcans come running in to shoot people!

The inside guy comes to the shed to untie Archer and T'Pol but before he can do that he gets zapped. While the Vulcans shoot at the rebels, Trip and the Andorians go off to rescue Archer and T'Pol. They go out, the Vulcans have zapped everyone so it's time to stand around and have an argument. T'Pol see one of the not so unconscious rebels about to take a shot at Captain Grumpy and pushes him out of the way and gets shot herself.

Archer picks her up and makes an exit.

Switch to sickbay and T'Pol is arranged exactly in the middle of the shot. Captain Grumpy shows up and Archer gives him a speech about why Captain Grumpy (whose ass she just saved) should let her stay and play longer with the stinky Humans. He goes off to talk to the Vulcan High Command.

Phlox gives T'Pol an injection and she wakes up right away and after a bit of banter with Archer everything will be fine and she'll stay on Enterprise.

OK, this was one of the better first season episodes. The Vulcans were thoroughly annoying. I gotta wonder how Humans managed to put up with them for 70 years. Shran was fun as always. I'll give this one a thumbs up (eventually I'll have to repeat a rating system but I'm going to avoid that for as long as possible .

Excellent snark level. I wonder how many takes it took to get Archer to land right between the mountains? I agree that captain Grumpy overdid the attitude and then backed down way to easy. Maybe he saw Archer's speeches as the lethal weapon as I do. I wonder if the AnT crowd thinks that T'Pol had a budding interest in the captain and allowed herself to be tied to him. I have always thought that scene was just flat stupid and oh so forced.

Weeble wrote:I wonder how many takes it took to get Archer to land right between the mountains?

I think I would have volunteered for a few extra takes!

Weeble wrote:I have always thought that scene was just flat stupid and oh so forced.

Me too. But I remember reading some fanfiction which put Trip in place of Archer, which I thought was entirely credible and well thought out. Go figure.

Well, it's like this - Humans are what you get after you subtract all the funny head bumps.

What alelou said.

(I don't always comment, but I *always* read these.)