The captives discussion thread

[honeybee]

I've always found that big honking space battles work better on screen than in prose - although Martin does a pretty good job in the pro-books but the battles are still not the strongest elements. So, I understand your reticence to write a Romulan War fic. But you did a good job with the intrigue in the Captives and I look forward to the sequel!

[WarpGirl]

Hello dear, all I have to say is you are very naughty! You translate all the nice Vulcan words but leave out a word I am guessing is Japanese..."Itai," now that's just cruel. I can accept being confused over T'Pol's father, (although I think you might be toying with the idea that he's a Rommie) I can even accept that I might not find out just how the Rommies had the master plan that drove your story. But I cannot accept words I don't know and will not be translated using Bing! So spill girl I'm waiting...

[panyasan]

Hello dear, all I have to say is you are very naughty! You translate all the nice Vulcan words but leave out a word I am guessing is Japanese..."Itai," now that's just cruel. I can accept being confused over T'Pol's father, (although I think you might be toying with the idea that he's a Rommie) I can even accept that I might not find out just how the Rommies had the master plan that drove your story. But I cannot accept words I don't know and will not be translated using Bing! So spill girl I'm waiting...

I thought I made it clear by the context of the scene. Hoshi, eyes filled with pain, wakes up for a moment and whispers "Itai" and Phlox says "She is in a lot of pain" and gives her a hypospray against the pain. Itai means pain in Japanese (you got the language right). About T'Pols father being a Rommie, no he isn't. But some people may think he is....

[WarpGirl]

I didn't know that Phlox understood Japanese! Did they do that in the show, come to think of it, did I miss a line where you said Hoshi taught him? In any case I thought Phlox was just telling Malcom that because she was out of it. Goodness knows Drs have done it to me. Sorry for the brain freeze. You did write and awesome chapter. The space battle was how I like them, easy to read, exciting, and most importantly short.

[Ludmila]

Thank you, panyasan, for such involving and captivating (not pun intended) update (especially in TnT case)! I am very glad that you have a plan for the sequel. I hope that I'll compose the real comment later after coming back home.

For those who read it I have a question "Do you think I succeed in writing the battle or do you have some pointers for improvement?"

I am really not a sucker for the war stuff but I have read your battle parts with the interest and the picture of the combatant ships and their crew was clear.

I thought I made it clear by the context of the scene. Hoshi, eyes filled with pain, wakes up for a moment and whispers "Itai" and Phlox says "She is in a lot of pain" and gives her a hypospray against the pain. Itai means pain in Japanese (you got the language right).

I must confess that in this case I did not have any hint of the meaning of that word. I understood that Hoshi was in a great pain but I had supposed that she could say something different. I thought that she wished to say something personal if not real Malcolm but maybe his ghost in her imagination.

[WarpGirl]

Hey Ludmila Glad to see you around. I agree with everything you just said. Especially about what Hoshi said.

[panyasan]

I must confess that in this case I did not have any hint of the meaning of that word. I understood that Hoshi was in a great pain but I had supposed that she could say something different. I thought that she wished to say something personal if not real Malcolm but maybe his ghost in her imagination.

I am glad to hear this scene inspired your imagination, Ludmila. That's great. An important aspect of the scene for me was Malcolm reaching out to Hoshi. They have been friends - more then friends - doubt on Malcolms side made Hoshi break up with him, Malcolm is heartbroken, but finds and loses a new love. In the scene when Hoshi and Malcolm meet really face to face for the first time, they are avoiding each other. In the battle as Hoshi gets wounded, Malcolm realized he still cares about Hoshi, she is his friend even when they broke up and he reaches out. What comes next... that's still a mystery.

[WarpGirl]

Cruel, evil, not very nice woman! How could you tease us like that!!!!!

[panyasan]

I finished the Epilogue and I started with the sequel. So if you are interested: Word of Ice- chapter 1 Barefoot.

[honeybee]

Nice job, too!

[Transwarp]

panyasan,
Since you have finished 'The Captives', I decided it was time for me to finish it as well. (I've gotten SERIOUSLY behind in my reading...)

So I went back and started reading from the beginning. Then, during my lunchtime at work, I continued. Unfortunately, at work there are internet filters in place, so I can't get to TriSilk. But I can get to FanFiction.net.

So I was trying to read it on FF.net, but it's COMPLETELY different. The chapters seem to be in a different order.

Is this by design? If so, which version is the 'official' version?

Please advise!

[panyasan]

Transwarp, thank you for reading The Captives! I think if you read the story in the whole setting it gives you a better understanding of the general story lines.

Well, because The Captives was orginally posted on TRIS, I consider that version the official version. However, sometimes if you post a chapter and read the comments, you wished you should have done things differently. This was especially the case with chapter 5. In this chapter from Trips POV halve the chapter is about him, but in the original TRIS-version Trip is thinking about the dreams he had about T'Pol and T'Pols story in prison is told. That was the other halve of chapter 5. The Vulcan poem at the beginning of chapter 5 also points to T'Pols story. I got the impression this was somewhat confusing.

So when I started posting The Captives on FFnet I used the poem and the part of T'Pols story as a prologue to the story. I named it "Prologue". However, at FFnet they started couting from chapter one, so the prologue is chapter 1. Then I posted the chapters, starting with chapter 1 it showed as chapter 2. So Chapter 1 at TRIS is chapter 2 at FFnet (and has the title "Chapter 1" on FFnet) Chapter 2 at TRIS is chapter 3 at FFnet and is called chapter 2. So the chapters and stories are the same, except for a shorter version of chapter 5 (and a lame joke I deleted in chapter 6). So they are not in different order, only have a different chapter-number.

If you want to read the whole story, I would recommend reading it at TRIS, because at FFnet we are only half way. But you can always leave a comment.