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[Alelou]

Huh. I force my students to read out loud. I don't think there's a better tool in the world when it comes to noticing your own errors and clunkiness.

[WarpGirl]

My problem is that start seeing them when they aren't there. I do much better finding actual errors when I see them not hear them. But everyone has a different way of learning.

[Aquarius]

Huh. I force my students to read out loud. I don't think there's a better tool in the world when it comes to noticing your own errors and clunkiness.

This is also advice given by professionals and how-to books. I think it's one of the smartest things a writer can do. Even just whispering it to yourself helps, if you don't want others to hear or you just don't like the sound of your voice.

I think Harrison Ford was wrong when he told George Lucas "You can read this sh*t, but you can't say it." Chances are, if you can't say it, most people aren't going to have the patience to read it, even if they can.

[honeybee]

I give the same advice to my students. Read aloud.

Although, when I'm dealing with advanced students, I often talk about the illusion of making your written words sound like oral communication - when pure oral communication (just writing your thoughts down) sounds ass when written down. Anne Lamott, who wrote a terrific book on writing called Bird by Bird, writes the most natural sounding, fluid prose. It sounds like she's in the room talking to you. But in the book, she talks about the painstaking drafting process that her prose requires to get to that point.

[Transwarp]

<pokes head in -- sees no overturned tables or bodies on the floor -- decides to stay>

I vocalize what I've written, ESPECIALLY the dialogue, and if it sounds stilted or awkward I rewrite it.

Sometimes this introduces other errors when I fail to completely change the original and I end up with an awkward combination of the two. For example, I might want to change 'he could appreciate' to 'he appreciated' but I actually end up with 'he could appreciated'. [Sadly, a real, recent example.] Of course this will not be discovered until the chapter is posted, where it will forever stand as mute testimony to my inadequate proof-reading skills. [Forever, because TriSilk does not have a submitted-post editing capability, like fanfiction.net does.]

On the whole, reading aloud lets me catch many more errors and weak sentences than it creates. For me, it's a valuable tool.

in the book, she talks about the painstaking drafting process that her prose requires to get to that point.

Yep. PAIN-staking is the exact term I'd use. Wish I could find a shortcut, but, alas...

[WarpGirl]

Just because something works for 99.999999999999999% of writers out there that use that method and have it work miracles doesn't mean it will work for every single writer out there. When I read out loud I don't hear my characters, I hear ME! It's awkward, uncomfortable and a hot mess. In my head I hear my characters and if something goes wrong I realize it more quickly.

[Alelou]

Undoubtedly true.

EDIT:
Because it probably wouldn't work at all if you're deaf... < runs>

[WarpGirl]

Well I know a few deaf writers, they say part of the fun is making up the voices you want.

[Transwarp]

All,
Chapter two of 'Convicted' is in the chute, but it doesn't look like it's going to go up before I head out on R&R. Which means I will probably be off-line when it DOES go up. (Travel from Kandahar to Dallas is a grueling two-day ordeal.) And once I get back home, I will have other distractions occupying my mind. Which means I won't get to read and reply to the comments in a timely manner.

I'll miss the excitement of popping in every fifteen minutes to see who's read it and what they think (which for me is the real reward for doing this), but rest assured I will get to them eventually. My biggest fear is that by the time I've had a chance to reply, everyone will have moved on to the Next Big Thing and will never read what I wrote. Oh well, can't be helped.

This chapter was difficult for me in many ways. Starting with losing a week's worth of work that I had to recreate (it was two weeks before I felt able to start writing again, which means I REALLY lost three weeks, in total).

I had to deal with Trip and T'Pol deciding what they were going to do about the extradition, and their reactions to that decision, and I didn't want to take the coward's way out and just skip to the next scene. You are THERE while they hash it out, for better or for worse. I already 'knew' what was going to happen, so the challenge was to get them to that pre-defined point without violating the characters' character (now isn't that an awkward phrase) or straining the reader's credibility. Since the end-point is fixed, as is TnT's nature, my only variables were the external stimuli acting on them, such as the political and strategic situations. I got into trouble in the last chapter for not defining Andorian politics clearly enough, I hope I avoided that in this chapter but only time will tell.

T'Pol was especially challenging for me. Following the lost file incident, I actually changed my approach to how I would write her reaction. Both approaches had some merit, so I can't say with certainty that the one I ended up using is really 'better', but it is certainly different. And I'm sort of nervous about how it will be received (nothing can get a fanfic community riled up quicker than portraying a beloved character in a non-canon way). I *think* I pulled it off, but I have some lingering doubts, and I won't be around to expand, expound, or explain if any controversy arises.

Anyway, whether I nailed it or flubbed it, it was fun to write and I feel I am a better writer for having tried. I look forward to all feedback, positive or negative, and I hope you enjoy the next installment as much as I intend to enjoy my R&R.

[panyasan]

Transwarp, I am happy you were able to rewrite chapter 2 after your computer crash. I am intrigued what you said about T'Pol. Curious to see what you have planned. I hope your travel goes well and you have a good time with your family back home.

[Alelou]

Safe travels!

I'm looking forward to reading it.

[WarpGirl]

Transwarp the most important thing is that you are safe and enjoy precious time with the family you obviously adore so much. Forget about us for a while, I know I'll be here to read all your comments when you get back. I'm also excited to see what you have in store for us. Speaking from experience I find that usually a major overhaul turns out to be a blessing because you tend to stay truer to yourself and not other people's expectations. Because in reality you are the one writing and slaving so the first consideration is making a story you are proud of, screw the rest. People aren't forced to read. I don't remember you getting into trouble about the Andorian government, unless it was something I said, I do remember asking a question. Yikes it wasn't meant to give you trouble.

[Asso]

Don't worry, Transwarp. People will read your story and will comment it, be sure.
Naturally, I will go first.
And... have a good trip and may your return be very happy.

[WarpGirl]

Well I hope to be first. I guess it depends on the time zones and when its posted.

[Asso]

Damn! Well, we shal see.