Kind of wife TPol would be?

[Silverbullet]

I am toying with a story about T'Pol, Trip and T'Pol's effort to keep him eating healthy. That is, not allowing himm too may sweets, etc.

I got to thinking. would she choose his Clothes? would Trip go along with that? would she watch what he ate, made sure he exercised. Took care of himself?

Would a vulcan wife do that?

Would Trip go along with "If mny Wife is happy, I am Happy?

SB

[honeybee]

T'Pol is an independent, professional woman of a different species. I most certainly do not see her conforming to any ridiculous, outmoded and sexist Mad-Men era stereotype of a wifey, nor do I believe Trip would want her to do so.

I believe the only time she would interfere with Trip's sartorial choices would be if they were on Vulcan, and it would be in terms of advising him about etiquette that he would be unaware of. If they married, she would accept his quirks and his humanness as part of the package, just as he would accept her Vulcan-ness. Sure, there would be negotiations so they could each meet each other's needs - but they would be respectful and equal.

However, it does seem that Vulcan spouses take care of each other. So, I can see her caring for him when he's sick and that kind of thing.

I think she would be less interfering than a human wife - precisely because she respects his humanness. She doesn't know what he needs to eat or what is appropriate to wear to a Tucker family reunion. She will learn over time, but I think she'll respect him enough to allow him his own choices. This marks a significant evolution from the more judgmental character we met in BB. She would obviously learn to care for him over time, but she wouldn't be controlling or petty in any way.

[panyasan]

I don't see T'Pol as a very "controling" wife - choosing his clothes and checking on him if he trains a lot. (I had to laugh about choosing clothes - my husband buys all his clothes and problably would burst out in laughter if I do.)
How you are as a wife depends on your relationship and partly also on cultural background, but I always had the feeling Trip is a sort of guy you needed to give some space, so the best way is to give that space.

Caring about health is a different issue and I can imagine T'Pol would, so maybe some hints about drinking not too much coffee.

About coffee drinking: there is a very entertaining scene in one of the stories that Rigil Kent wrote when Archer comments on the fact that Trip drinks tea instead of coffee. "She got you drinking tea now?" Great line. Appartently T'Pol thought too much coffee is bad for Trips health, which is true.

[aadarshinah]

I agree with panyasan for the most part - I don't see T'Pol as a "controlling" wife either, though in addtion to coffee arguments, I cans see the Hawaiian Shirt arguements as well... To quote Zane Grey this time:

"You sayin' you didn't like my Hawaiian shirt?"
"I am merely suggesting that it falls only loosely within the parameters of what one could reasonably call a shirt."

[Silverbullet]

I don't think that T'Pol would be controlling. However, she might want to ensure he takes care of himself. He is a busy man who probably would forget to eat at times or eat some fast food which is lousy for health. clothes?

My wife chooses my clothes has for a long time. doesn't bother me. she has good taste. Says that "all of my taste is in my mouth."

controlling and caring are two diferent things entirely. MY wife wants me alive not in a grave. so, she knows I am diabetic and must watch what I eat carefully. she helps me do that.

think T'Pol would be like that. she knows that she will outlive Trip and wants him around as long as possible. Caring fof him by helping out wiht his health is one way of doing that.

Sb

[Kevin Thomas Riley]

To quote Zane Grey this time:

"You sayin' you didn't like my Hawaiian shirt?"
"I am merely suggesting that it falls only loosely within the parameters of what one could reasonably call a shirt."

[justTripn]

I'm in the middle. While she isn't generally a controlling as a wife, in my universe, T'Pol might not approve of that Hawaiian shirt. In our family, my husband does pick out his own clothes, but I have been known to put my foot down and say "I don't want to be seen with you wearing THAT. Go try something else." I have also accidentally-on-purpose, misplaced a few truely horrible T-shirts that had holes or stains.

In another area I think T'Pol would be less controlling than she is generally portrayed. I don't think T'Pol would be offended by Trip's grammar or slang or even the swear words. As a non-native English speaker those swear words would have no power to offend her. At least, that's how I imagine it. She would meet Trip, who she sees as a good person, and be introduced to all these "bad words" through him, so for her there is no bad connotation.

[Linda]

Vulcans are very detailed oriented but they also value privacy. I think there is not much about Trip that T'Pol would not notice but I think she would only mention something that would endanger his health or get him in trouble protocol-wise in Vulcan society. She might occasionally mention that something he is doing or wearing was not to her personal taste...but she probably would not often do this and usually only if he asked her opinion. But when she did give her opinion it would be with bald Vulcan frankness and without emotional overtones. Uh, I think this kind of echos what others have said in this thread.

[Alelou]

I wouldn't mind seeing them tussle over these issues. It's how they do it that pretty much determines whether I buy it or not. I can't see Trip just caving like a good little hubby to humor the wife. Nor can I see T'Pol getting sneaky and manipulative. Other than that, I'd say it's fair game, because real couples usually do have some differences in these areas.

[honeybee]

There would certainly be misunderstandings. I think some of those would come from the other misinterpreting what they think the other expects in a spouse. Other times, it would come from the person simply not knowing something was expected.

[justTripn]

More generally, What kind of wife would T'Pol be? I always figured she would not be very affectionate (though she would be into sex). She would not get the point of flattery, or telling someone what they want to here. She would love Trip deeply and have a lot of respect for him--his intellegence and his integrety--but would see no point in talking about it or hyping it up. Her great virtue would be her loyalty. In my version of things, she simply takes for granted that they will be together "till death do us part" and is very secure in that. That is her main virtue: that she is so steadyfast in her love for and loyalty to Trip. So in my universe, if he falls into a depression, or makes a mistake, or gets old, she is still there and still cares for him. She values privacy, so she doesn't pry into his business or pester him, but when he asks a question, he gets an honest answer.

[honeybee]

That just about sums it up, JT. I concur.

[Silverbullet]

T'Pol loves Trip. she cares for him deeply. which is why she is concerned that he eats the right food and not junk food on the run. (My Daughter's guy works very long hours and tends to have whatever he picks up on the way home. Worries her a lot) Trip too would be busy, working long hours and probably doing the same thing. T'Pol would try to get him to slow down, let his subordinates handle more and get home at a decet hour for his meals.

Suppose Trip has a weakness, for sweets. It gets him in to trouble on occasion. Woulld T'Pol ever get so PO that hse would banish him to the Couch? That usualy gets a man's attention real quick.


T'Pol may be vulcan but she still is a woman in love with her man. I believe she would be like a human woman in many ways. Protective of him. Even if she knows that he is courageous. trustworthy. The way Vuclans have been presented they seem to be remote from one another. But I think that T'Pol living with humans might pick up some things she believes have value.

[Linda]

Silverbullet, why don't you go ahead and write a draft of the story, then check it over against the comments people have made here. Just keep in mind that you don't want to make T'Pol seem too human because that would be out of character for her. If your story idea still seems valid to you, just keep revising the story until you think you have the characters' actions and voices the way you and your beta think they should be.

[Nemo Blank]

What kind of wife would T'Pol be? Well, I have to say a logical wife. A terrifyingly logical Vulcan wife, and most certainly the one that 'wore the pants' in the relationship. Remember, T'Pol is twice his age and has three or four times his life experience. T'Pol has been a student, an intelligence agent, a military officer, a diplomat and finally a military officer again. She has seen a lot of action.

Trip is a human and human means lazy. He would be mentally bonded with a Vulcan woman that is NOT lazy, a woman worried about substantially outliving him, a woman that OWNS him, according to Vulcan tradition. Her objective would be to make him last. She would exhaustively research how to make it so and he would find himself hard up for beer, coffee, sweets and all the other things that make life worth living, except for sex.

T'Pol is self disciplined, intelligent, implacable, relentless. She would have many single-minded years to devote to her goal of extending his life.

Trip is an easygoing lighthearted type with only a few personal goals. So long as she let him work toward what he really wanted, she would have little problem controlling his unhealthy tendencies. With no good reason to do otherwise he would probably yield gracefully to her demands more often than not. She would simply be right.

Not that T'Pol would be openly or harshly controlling. She can see inside his head after all and would soon learn to keep him happy. Most of the time he would probably not even notice the incremental changes in his life, unless Phlox or someone clued him in. T'Pol, with her vast intelligence and life experience, would be subtle enough at it that he would barely notice her long term strategy.