The Happy News thread

[WarpGirl]

And I would agree with you, if that's what they were stressing about.

[Aquarius]

And what precisely were they stressing about, then?

[Alelou]

Eh, Shakespeare can stress a lot of people out. I love Shakespeare, myself, but I sure wouldn't make it part of a mandatory curriculum at a community college. Not unless it's a community college with an English degree program, and then only in a more advanced class in that program.

[WarpGirl]

"I hate all of my professors" "I don't need this class" (that one by someone getting a degree as an English teacher) "I hate these rich kids" "I hate school" "my ex screwed me to the wall" "I don't want to be here"

[Aquarius]

Chances are, most of that was rooted in "I don't have time/patience for this shit"...which brings me back to the point I was making. As for the "I hate these rich kids" complaint, I understand--there's nothing worse than having to deal with someone who's spoiled and has a sense of entitlement when you have to work your ass off to have basically nothing.

[Alelou]

Anyone with negative attitudes (and I do hear it more from kids just out of high school than older students) is going to have a harder time just buckling down and doing the work.

I had a really interesting essay from a football player here this week. He says he gets his school work done a lot better when he has football, because then he doesn't have any time to goof off. It's off-season when he gets into trouble. I had another one from a guy who's just so thankful to be out of high school and in charge of his own education. Honestly, while there are also a fairly pathetic number of never-shows in my classes and definitely some non-workers on a trajectory to fail, overall this group is impressing me, including the kids straight out of high school. I hear much less whining and sense of entitlement than I did twenty years ago at UNH.

[WarpGirl]

Hey I wasn't too keen on the rich kids myself, and frankly at that point in my life, I was in the same economic bracket. My point is "returnees" have a choice, kids sometimes get forced by their parents, so I think "returnees" should be mature about it. It's not like they don't understand hard work, unlike the majority of party-hardy stupid kids.

[Aquarius]

Hey I wasn't too keen on the rich kids myself, and frankly at that point in my life, I was in the same economic bracket. My point is "returnees" have a choice, kids sometimes get forced by their parents, so I think "returnees" should be mature about it. It's not like they don't understand hard work, unlike the majority of party-hardy stupid kids.

But I think it's a misconception that we have a "choice." If I were to speak as honestly as possible, I'd say that I DON'T have a choice, not if I want my life to get better because nothing is going to change unless I do something to change it. So I guess if you count staying in a life you can't enjoy because you devote so much time to working that you don't have the time or energy to enjoy what little you have after the bills are paid a "choice," okay maybe...but I don't call that a choice at all, I call that a rut...a hopeless, desperate rut.

[Alelou]

As much of a pain in the ass as college is, though, are you enjoying it? Or does it just seem too basic now?

[Aquarius]

It's still hard to sum it up in a word or two. I like my classes, I like my profs. I'm starting to make friends. I think that my recent taste of success with the grades is giving me more confidence, though, because I didn't keep it a secret that there was that part of me that was worried that I had no business going back, but I suppose I'd say that it feels good to finally start realizing my full potential. I probably could've been an A student the first time around, but my priorities were getting drunk and sleeping it off and going shopping back then. I dropped out due to family circumstances, and then I spent the next two decades working my ass off and not being anywhere near what I wanted to be when I grew up.

It's different now. I know what I want and I have the guts to go after it. And I don't give a crap what anyone thinks about it, 'cause it's all about me now.

[WarpGirl]

Well I'm glad it's working out for you now, but to tell the truth I wouldn't want a life that's all about me. So I'm glad you're happy.

[Alelou]

Oh man. You two are like oil and water.

[WarpGirl]

Well... At least you didn't say vinager.

[Aquarius]

Well I'm glad it's working out for you now, but to tell the truth I wouldn't want a life that's all about me.

Make that decision after you've walked a mile in my shoes. Work two jobs--making someone else rich--and still not be able to make the ends meet, with an unemployed partner, and see if you don't want to life just for yourself for a while.

[Distracted]

Oil and vinegar would be better. At least when you're done you have salad dressing.

I think a lack of maturity affects most first-time college students to some extent or other. In my experience, though, the ones that are fortunate enough not to have to work to support themselves while in school aren't necessarily the ones that are the least mature. Some "rich" kids actually know the value of an education, while some "poor" kids work two jobs just to have enough money buy both their books AND their beer.

The key to success in any endeavor is learning how to defer gratification (Work now, party LATER). We all mature at different rates. Deferred gratification is a skill some working adults haven't even mastered yet. The ones that do are usually successful. The ones that don't often get stuck in a vicious cycle where they make enough to barely get by but not enough to make a change. Sometimes even if they get enough saved to do something like go to school they blow it all on something else they want but don't really need. Then they're back to square one, with a nice shiny new TV maybe, but still in the same old job.

I really admire people who are able to pull themselves out of a rut and change careers mid-stream. It takes guts, determination, and a lot of deferred gratification. It's much easier to do it right the first time. Unfortunately, I have a hard time convincing my patients (and my kids) that it really WON'T kill them to stay home and study while everyone else is going out.