The case for young marriage

[Alelou]

Right. One of you can even take up hockey!

Just as long as you don't run off with some hot hockey player you meet in practice...

[JadziaKathryn]

If she has good taste, that might not be so awful...

Oh, it already is! I know what I want and am not interested in settling for Mr. Almost Right, no doubt a product of seeing so many dysfunctional relationships all my life. So I think Mom's starting to worry there isn't a man out there that can meet my standards. (There are. I've met a few. Unfortunately not when they were single.)

[Alelou]

Well, now that you're ready, I'm sure you'll meet people. It's really just a matter of meeting enough people to meet the one.

[Distracted]

And going to the places that acceptable candidates gather, don't forget that. If you're looking for a player, you go to the bars, not a church social. On the other hand, if you're looking for a faithful, emotionally mature and responsible potential mate then you're not likely to find him cruising the strip. I've been steering my 24 year old son toward the young singles group at our church and the local university chapter of Chi Alpha. He hasn't found anyone yet, but it makes more sense to me to go fishing where the keepers are.

[JadziaKathryn]

Oh, I am so not into the bar scene. But hey, once I'm done my thesis this summer I'm going to have one of those mythical things called a life...

[panyasan]

If she has good taste, that might not be so awful...

Oh, it already is! I know what I want and am not interested in settling for Mr. Almost Right, no doubt a product of seeing so many dysfunctional relationships all my life. So I think Mom's starting to worry there isn't a man out there that can meet my standards. (There are. I've met a few. Unfortunately not when they were single.)

You're doing the right thing. As a single, my mother complained that I was too critical when I was looking for mr. Right, because I wouldn't settle for Mr. Almost Right and I knew some guys that I have been fallen in love deeply with, weren't good for me (too dominated for example). I knew what worked for me and I didn't want to settle for second best. At the end I gave up feeling miserable for mr. Right to show up. Untill I was 29 and met this very annoying guy, who made his life goal to tease me.

[JadziaKathryn]

You're doing the right thing. As a single, my mother complained that I was too critical when I was looking for mr. Right, because I wouldn't settle for Mr. Almost Right and I knew some guys that I have been fallen in love deeply with, weren't good for me (too dominated for example). I knew what worked for me and I didn't want to settle for second best. At the end I gave up feeling miserable for mr. Right to show up. Untill I was 29 and met this very annoying guy, who made his life goal to tease me.

Thanks - it's good to hear this approach can work out. And you know, that last line sounds an awful lot like T'Pol meeting Trip...

[Pegmumm]

Young marriage? Speaking from experience... was married at 21. Thought I knew everything. Bad choice that lasted 12 years. Then was single for 10 years. Dated at least 100 men.... once.

Get out and about, meet people, as many as you can if you are serious about finding a partner. You'll never know what you want in a spouse unless you find out what you don't want. Then when you meet them, if you want to change who they are... they aren't the right person for you.

Marry the person you can't do without, not the one you can tolerate.

As momma used to say... don't worry about Mr. Right, worry about Mr. Trust me.
Seriously, someone will fall into your lap if you don't hide away alone all the time. As soon as you finally realize you are unlikely to ever find love, it finds you. It's amazing, really. I gave up and an old friend got divorced. We have been together for over 15 years now.

Truly amazing.
peg

[Aquarius]

It *is* possible to meet decent people at bars. You just have to choose what bar carefully.

[crystalswolf]

Here they have a dating organization that I thought was a brilliant idea. They plan trips like hiking, horseback-riding, cooking classes, etc. and people choose which activities they want to go to. This way, they are more likely to meet people they have something in common with.

[Pegmumm]

My dad got into a singles group here in our area... I started getting invited to different functions and met some very nice men. But my dad said he didn't want me dating any of them... cuz he knew them and their um... habits.

I thought it was hilarious that my 65 year old dad was forbidding me from dating his friends.
Yes, there are great guys out there. But I think most of them are too shy or inexperienced to know how to go about dating.

And then there's my husband... I am his fourth wife... don't ask.

peg