Postby CX » Sat Sep 13, 2008 6:49 pm
Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one
said, 'Where did you get such a great bike?'
The second engineer replied, 'Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding
my own business, when a beautiful woman
rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and
said, 'Take what you want.' The second engineer
nodded approvingly and said, 'Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't
have fit you anyway.'
---
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
---
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer
fumed, 'What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen
minutes!' The doctor chimed in, 'I don't know,
but I've never seen such inept golf!' The priest said, 'Here comes the
greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.'
He said, 'Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're
rather slow, aren't they?' The greens keeper
replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their
sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year,
so we always let them play for free anytime.' The group fell silent for a
moment.
The priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them tonight.' The doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm
going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything
he can do for them.'
The engineer said , 'Why can't they play at night?'
---
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
---
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body.
One said, 'It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.'
Another said, 'No , it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.'
The last one said, 'No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who
else would run a toxic
waste pipeline through a recreational area ?'
---
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough cool
features yet.
---
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and
said, 'If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.'
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke
up again and said, 'If you kiss me and turn me back
into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.'
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it
to the pocket. The frog then cried out, 'If you kiss me
and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do
ANYTHING you want.'
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, 'What is the matter?
I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for
one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?'
The engineer said, 'Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool.'