Randomness

[Silverbullet]

May I associate myself with Blue Tigers sentiments? You are a grand bunch. All of you.

[Asso]

Happy 1st anniversary to you as a writer, Bluetiger.
I'm sure we will be able to celebrate with you many other anniversaries.

[Escriba]

OK, people, I came back! And I flunked the exam Yes, depressing. The Institutions of the European Union beat me. It's official: I hate the EU! But not everything is lost, I've learned from this experience. This was my first time and now I know how it goes and I'll be less nervous next time.

And I can make a funny narration of what happened too You know how I love to tell humorous tales. To make things clearer, I'm going to write in blue my inner (usually sarcastic) thoughts (this time inner. My big mouth is universally known )

I expected a calm trip by train. And I was having it, except for the fact that they were showing "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale" by Uwe Boll Anyway, I was reading the Criminal Code (yes, my life is pathetic) when three young men entered into my car. One of them stayed in the front part and the other two went to the back and stopped just behind me. I was with earplugs so I didn't know what they were saying. I figured that they were waiting for the bathroom and when more time elapsed I thought they would be acquaitances with one of the guys behind me. Suddenly one of them bent toward me and told me something. I took the earplugs off.

ME: What?
MAN: Identification, please.
ME: Who the hell do you think you are, a damn policem--- (I saw the badge he was holding) Oh, my God! He is! Yes, sir.
I showed my ID to him.
POLICEMAN: Are you traveling to Madrid?
ME: And what if I lie? Do you have a lie detector? Yes, to Madrid.
POLICEMAN: May I inquire the purpose of your trip?
ME: Why, yes, Soval. I intend to enter into Moncloa, kill the President, his wife and children, call the King posing as the President, set a date with him in a solitary place, then kill him and declare Spain a Republic. How does it sound? I'm going to do a state exam.
POLICEMAN: (while his comrade is writting my personal details in a block) Is it today?
ME: No, tuesday. By the way, now that I notice it. You've gone directly to the two guys behind me. One is obviously Arab and the other is South American. And now you ask me, the Basque girl. Is something wrong with me? Not that I'm paranoic or anything. Because I have nothing to be paranoic about. I hope you don't begin to delve into my family members, though.
POLICEMAN: For what is the exam?
ME: And now, for my next trick, I'm going to blow the mind of a policeman To be a Judge And the Russian judge gives her 9.4 in the Bewilderment Scale
POLICEMAN: (a little pale) Oh. That's great.
ME: Yeah, someday I might be your boss. Hah! Then you'll regret thinking that I was a terrorist. It's the hooded sweatshirt, isn't it? Because somebody in a hooded sweatshirt must be suspicious. Yes, because when you're a terrorist you want to look like one. Because all terrorists have bear and wear sunglasses and a sweatshirt with the slogan "I'm a very dangerous terrorist and I have a bomb with me." How easy is your job, man. Yeah, well, I have to pass the exam first.
POLICEMAN: It's a national level exam?
ME: Yes. It's in the Supreme Court. So more police than there... And by the way, how much time does anybody need to write some personal details? Is your comrade mentally handicapped? Because you know, I think that the integration of handicapped people it's great but maybe somebody faster should write the damn details.

At last, they wrote my personal details, gave me my ID back and whished me luck (that was sort of nice.) And then they left the car. I was right, they asked the Arab, the South American and the Basque girl with the hooded sweatshirt

I arrived at Madrid and went to my acommodations, which were in Chueca. The gay district. And hence, the more secure place for women in all Madrid. I like it, it's small, peaceful and full of life and shops. The bad thing is that you see dozens of gay couples, so gorgeous and well dressed and smelling like Heaven and you feel really, really, ugly and without style.

Anyway. Once I left my belongings I walked to the Supreme Court to get used to the idea of how much time I needed to arrive there and how it was et al. It's huge. Beautiful and huge I walked near the building for a while, with the paper where I wrote the indications, and wearing my hooded sweatshirt and attracting the attention of the policemen in the zone with my suspicious behaviour. It wasn't my day

I studied that day and the next and on Tuesday I went to the Supreme Court. I went one hour earlier, so I had to went back to my accommodations because the guards told me the place was closed until 4:00 pm (this is outrageous, it's a public service!) I came back to the huge, huge Supreme Court and entered. The guards gave me a beautiful pass (in blue) with the word "opositor" (candidate for a competitive examination) on it. If you go just as a friend or a family member the pass is yellow and it reads "companion" I found it amusing.

I waited until my turn. I was a nervous wreck. Seriously. On Sunday I took a shower with my underwear and my glasses on, I didn't sleep in two days and I didn't eat anything that same day. I know, I know, I should have eaten something. But I couldn't, I swear. At last, my chance came. I entered into the courtroom. The examining board (all Judges and one district attorney) was there. Our courtrooms are slightly different to US courtrooms. There is a rostrum in the back, where the Judges sit down, and other two, one at the right of the Judges and the other at their left, were the Prosecution and the Defense (one in front of the other) sit down. The accused sits down in a table in the middle of the three rostrums (where I had to sit down to make the exam, so I felt like a criminal suddenly.) The secretary was in the rostrum of the left and she asked for my ID. Once she checked my personal details, she took a little velvet bag or sack. It was then when I noticed it: there were five velvet sacks on the table, numbered from 1 to 5. Each one of them contains chips with the numbers of the lessons and you have to put your hand into the bag and take one.

Yes, it's exactly like a quiz show. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'm pleased to present Alex Trebek! It was a little surreal Anyway, I took the five chips (one per bag.) That's how it goes: one lesson of Constitutional Law (from 31 possible lessons), two of Civil Law (from 98) and two of Criminal Law, General and Special part (from 66.)

Have you ever had this nightmare where you have to do a test and the teachers asks precisely all those lessons you don't know or you don't know so well? That was my exam. At each chip I was like:

First chip: lesson 31. Oh, sh-t! (Institutions of the European Union.)
Second chip: lesson 36. Oh, nononono... (Principles of the Land? Registry. I don't know what's the exact term in English.)
Third chip: lesson 90. What the hell is this? (The Bequest)
Fourth chip: lesson 5. OK, not so bad, but since I'm not going to get here... (The Concept of Action in the Criminal Law)
Fifth chip: lesson 36. (Crimes against the socioeconomic order. The Theft and the Robbery; for us they are two different concepts.)

Usually the last question, of Special Criminal Law, is the hardest. Lesson 36 is one of the easiest. I would have aced it. But since the first three were a complete hell (they're horrible, believe me) I didn't get there. I hardly passed the first question and couldn't say anything coherent in the second. I just couldn't remember anything, my mind went blank.

So they nicely told me to leave the room. After me there was another girl, but she didn't even begin her exam (she took out the chips and decided that she couldn't answer anything.) So the examining board was dismished for the day. And when all of us were outside I discovered that those people that had to examinate me I dreaded so much were in fact very nice (couldn't they tell me it earlier?!). And after discovering that the members of the examining board aren't ogres who wait for you to fail. I'm calmer. And very positive for the next try. Really. I think I can do it. I'm full of energy.

So, yes, I failed, but I've learned an important lesson

[Alelou]

I was wondering how you did. But you've learned to persevere, so I'm sure you'll be fine in the end.

And good luck with those infernal chips next time.

And watch out with the hooded sweatshirts!

[Aikiweezie]

OH NO, Escriba, I'm sorry. Alt least you'll know what you getting into next time, right?

As far as what happened on the train, here in the U.S. it doean't matter what you look like or what you have with you, TSA (Our Airport Security) is guaranteed to scan you , make you take off your shoes, etc. It doesn't matter if you're a shady looking terrorist type or an 85 year old grandma. This is the world we live in now.

Anyway, I'm glad you have a sense of humor about it all.

[Aquarius]

Sorry to hear about your exam! Even sorry to hear about you getting hassled for no good reason.

Better luck next time!

[WarpGirl]

Escriba you know I adore you, but you know I have to say I love your attitude, so I am sorry you didn't pass this time BUT I don't really feel sorry for you. Because it is obvious you are strong, determined, know yourself well, and will learn from the experience, and have great success no matter what happens. So all in all YOU ROCK!

[Aquarius]

So this week at the salon we're starting our diet contest again. I've been doing well--I've gained back 5 of the 30 lbs I lost, but it wasn't enough to make the new clothes tight so I'm good with it. Hoping that I can lose another 30 again!!

It's just been hard over summer, since ice cream is my Kryptonite.

[Alelou]

Wow, you're not lacking in ambition! Good luck, but don't get so thin you start getting sick or something.

[WarpGirl]

You know Aquarius gellato (I know Asso I spelled it wrong sorry) is twice as creamy with less fat.

[Aquarius]

Wow, you're not lacking in ambition! Good luck, but don't get so thin you start getting sick or something.

Trust me, after another 30 pounds, I'll be somewhere between "a little heavy" and "just right." 40 is the new 30, but only if I take care of it.

Gelato=not the same.

[WarpGirl]

Really I always thought it was better. Oh well just trying to be nice and encouraging.

[JadziaKathryn]

Goodness, Escriba, you have a lot of tests to be a judge!

The bad thing is that you see dozens of gay couples, so gorgeous and well dressed and smelling like Heaven and you feel really, really, ugly and without style.

Please. Style is for people who have money. If it doesn't make me look like a box (or worse, pregnant! but baby-doll is finally fading out of style), it fits, and it's on clearance, I'm happy.

[Aquarius]

Really I always thought it was better. Oh well just trying to be nice and encouraging.

Think of it as being served steak when what you're craving is a chili dog. The steak may be "better," but if it's not what you're looking forward to...?

[WarpGirl]

OK a chilie dog is full of stuff I can't eat, but I see the point. It's like getting Godiva Chocolate when you want a Hershy bar. I can get that, but I'd just tell myself, if I eat the Godiva dark, my heart is healthier and my bikini is better. However I don't wear bikini's too many scars. So in essence I'd still go with the gelato and train myself to crave it instead.