The Whine thread.

[WarpGirl]

I concur on everything but the Wedding Dresses, I like wedding dresses.

[aadarshinah]

Oh, don't get me wrong, I like them too. But, again, thousands of dollars on a 1x thing is something that my inner scrooge could never do. Goodness, the idea of spending even hundreds is overwhelming...

[WarpGirl]

Appearently if it's the right guy the scrooge impulse dies. Now my sis only paid 300 for hers, BUT you have to understand she can squeeze a pint of blood out of a nickle. She calculates how much money each portion of food they eat to the cent. But when she found the dress, BAM! And that dress ended up being torn, grass stains and blood stains. She STILL loves that dress and will never get rid of it.

[panyasan]

After 15 months of dating, I spent 2.000 dollar/euro on our wedding. Can't image only spending 300 dollar on a wedding, getting your marriage certificate (otherwise your marriage isn't legal) is already 800 euro. Got lot's of help and I got the dress from my parents. And we spent some more money on our honeymoon.

[WarpGirl]

Well it's rediculously cheap to get a license in most states. Personally, I would spend a bit more on my wedding if I could afford it, but only because I don't believe in divorce (unless cheated on) and if I survived all of the crap I've gone through, I wanna be a princess. That said, not a penny over 5000 for the whole shebang!

[panyasan]

Well it's rediculously cheap to get a license in most states.

If I had known that before... Vegas here we come.

[aadarshinah]

Just looked it up. Licenses in my state are $60 - cash only, oddly enough. That being said, if I ever were to get married, I wouldn't be opposed to spending money on it, but spending more money than I make in a month on the ceremony is something I could never justify to myself.

Now a honeymoon I can understand spending money on. That's a vacation.

[WarpGirl]

You don't even need to go to Vegas. In NY it's 20 bucks.

[Misplaced]

Just looked it up. Licenses in my state are $60 - cash only, oddly enough. That being said, if I ever were to get married, I wouldn't be opposed to spending money on it, but spending more money than I make in a month on the ceremony is something I could never justify to myself.

Now a honeymoon I can understand spending money on. That's a vacation.

You and I might be kindred spirits. I spent probably $600 total on my wedding, and that included our honeymoon. I cannot fathom spending more than one has to for one day. Especially since I hardly remember it -- and there was no drinking involved! LOL

But then, I'm a tomboy. I'm not romantic -- or at least my idea of a romantic date is the latest and greatest action film or a football game. I never thought I'd get married either. But I met my husband and then it was a foregone conclusion.

I also am not a believer in the romantic love in films and movies and books. I mean, I see the appeal -- heck I write TnT shipper fanfiction for crying out loud! ('Course my original work contains none of that. LOL) But I am fairly cynical when it comes to real life. Not that I don't believe that love can't last. I just don't believe that it's not lots and lots of hard work to keep the flame alive.

[WarpGirl]

I also am not a believer in the romantic love in films and movies and books. I mean, I see the appeal -- heck I write TnT shipper fanfiction for crying out loud! ('Course my original work contains none of that. LOL) But I am fairly cynical when it comes to real life. Not that I don't believe that love can't last. I just don't believe that it's not lots and lots of hard work to keep the flame alive.

But my dear That's very romantic! How is it romantic not having to work at sharing your life with someone? The work part is the true romance. At least it is to me.

[Silverbullet]

Can a male butt in?

got married really cheap. wife borrowed wwedding dress. Was married in a militry chapel (free) only paid 100 dollars for food at the receiption. The American tax payer paid for my Honeymoon (trip on the United States liner to the U.S. first class.) Even ther German civil ceremony was free or cheap as hell I cannot remember. Did have to pay for the German license and posting the Banns.

Me? I wore a dark suit that I wore several times later.

I can make Lincoln get up and give his Gettysburg address before I let go of a penny.

[Misplaced]

I also am not a believer in the romantic love in films and movies and books. I mean, I see the appeal -- heck I write TnT shipper fanfiction for crying out loud! ('Course my original work contains none of that. LOL) But I am fairly cynical when it comes to real life. Not that I don't believe that love can't last. I just don't believe that it's not lots and lots of hard work to keep the flame alive.

But my dear That's very romantic! How is it romantic not having to work at sharing your life with someone? The work part is the true romance. At least it is to me.

In my world there aren't any roses, bubble baths, chocolates or sweet nothings. There aren't any crazy declarations of undying love, elaborate dates and eloquently penned love letters.

My "romance" is laughing with my husband, going to a football game (or watching him play a sport). When he asked me to marry him, I thought he was breaking up with me. And it was late at night, in my apartment living room. No ring, no elaborate proposal. We have more days of nitpicking and fighting than sweet love. We survived a few years where I was pretty sure our marriage was over (for the sake of the little ones, we stayed together... though without expectations that we might actually find more than co-parenting roommate love for one another again. Thank God we did!!)

It's more work than fun. I find my husband incredibly physically attractive, funny and an awesome friend -- but he has never, not once made me swoon. Ever.

I see stuff like "The Notebook" and snort. I might write a "star-crossed lovers" story in my TnT stuff (like "Reflections")... but that is not what I see as reality. It's WORK. Love is an action not a feeling. It's a choice you have to consciously make everyday. The rest is pure infatuation. That's how I see it. That is NOT how the media portrays it. What is in books and onscreen most of the time is pure, unadulterated fantasy.

And SB -- that last comment made me laugh. My dad and husband are much the same way!

[Silverbullet]

Perhaps that is why some of us write romatic love for TnT. We don't feel we need it in our own lives or have it.

42 years and we are companions. Good friends. The fire had been tamped down. Lovely flame at fiirst but not a thing that can be kept up. So, getting to know one another, making concessions, reaching a point where one knows what the other is thinking at times. Doesn't sound like all comsuming love but it is a damned good substitute.

[WarpGirl]

I see stuff like "The Notebook" and snort. I might write a "star-crossed lovers" story in my TnT stuff (like "Reflections")... but that is not what I see as reality. It's WORK. Love is an action not a feeling. It's a choice you have to consciously make everyday. The rest is pure infatuation. That's how I see it. That is NOT how the media portrays it. What is in books and onscreen most of the time is pure, unadulterated fantasy.

Oh amen! Although I gotta say, in Goh Veh you've got a Heathcliff/Cathy in Wurthering Hights, thing going on between TnT, and since that's my fave "romance novel" of all time I like it.

Me I tend to think I'm pretty well balanced. Is life romantic dates, staying in bed all day, poetry, and love letters? NO! And it's useless to hope for that. But can life have those days? Yes! And fantasy can inspire you to work at the relationship part. But it never replaces the work. It's just the reward for it.

Of course my mother's absolute favorite date is daddy taking her to highscool football games. And on the few times he does bring flowers she has to check to make sure he's not dying. Romance is what you like with your loved one, not a 7 day vacation at the Ritz.

[Misplaced]

SB -- I honestly think you are describing a far deeper love than the stuff we see in the media.

WG -- I've never read Wuthering Heights. My favorite "romance" is Pride & Prejudice. I like me a snarky gal! LOL I'll have to check out this book, because I can assure you that any likeness that Goh Veh has with it is completely unintentional.

And I agree that romance means different things to different folks. But there seems to be a pretty general definition of it by virtue of what I've read or seen in the media and none of that suits me.