I felt like expounding for some reason. Us old fogies get that way sometimes. So I thought I would start a thread where we of the age encumbered persuasion could unload a lifetime of crap on the hapless youth amongst us.
MY Basic Advice #1: Jumper cables. Never leave home without 'em. If you don't need them, someone else will.
Basic Advice #2: Never buy meat from a store with pink lights over the meat counter.
Basic Advice #2a: Always check the expiration date.
Basic Advice #3: NO business person in the history of commerce, from the time the first cave person tried to swap a spear point for a basket, has ever offered something for nothing. If the deal seems good enough to make you feel even a little bit guilty about taking advantage of the situation, you are getting scammed.
Basic Advice #4: Beer does not mix well with onions.
Basic Advice #5: Guys, you can't win. If you were right, she will punish you. If you were wrong, she will gloat. Just apologize and get her some flowers.
Basic Advice #6: A dull knife is like an empty coffee mug. What the hell use is it?
Basic Advice #7: If you are in strange country and you get separated from your group, willya for the love of sanity have sense enough to stay on the damn trail? Taking a shortcut cross country, when you have no idea where you are to begin with, is nothing short of suicidal stupidity.
Basic Advice #8: There is no such thing as an unloaded gun.
Basic Advice #9: Never eat peanut butter after 2 AM.
Basic Advice #10: Politeness can often help you avoid getting injured.
Anybody else got a profound proverb to spout off?
Idle Bits Of Wisdom
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blacknblue
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Idle Bits Of Wisdom
"When the legends die, the dreams end. When the dreams end, there is no more greatness."
--Tecumseh
"It is better to be a live jackal than a dead lion."
--King Solomon the Wise
"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." Unless the few are armed.
--Tecumseh
"It is better to be a live jackal than a dead lion."
--King Solomon the Wise
"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." Unless the few are armed.
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JadziaKathryn
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Re: Idle Bits Of Wisdom
Hey, advice for the guys but no insights into the mysterious male mind for the ladies? 
Hmm, I don't have jumper cables. If I did I wouldn't know how to use them. But I do have AAA! Does that count?
Hmm, I don't have jumper cables. If I did I wouldn't know how to use them. But I do have AAA! Does that count?
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CoffeeCat
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Re: Idle Bits Of Wisdom
From one of my LJ entries about a month ago...
#1 Don't waste your time associating with assholes online. You get enough of them in real life that you want to get away from, so why not escape from them in an environment that actually makes the task easy?
#2 Don't join more than one BBS.
#3 Don't overuse the "f" bomb.
#4 The best diet plan is: if it's crap - don't eat it; working muscle groups fail - just get your heart rate up there and you're golden. Take a frakking WALK.
#5 Um - don't wait two years to get a haircut.
#6 Tinhat rants can be fun - just keep them out of site of ppl who take them seriously. It's kinda like turning Kes into a trash-mouth - don't do it on TV, don't do it in a forum, and don't post it on ff.net. If you can get away with it in your blog, be sure to mark the post as private and make sure all your friends can only find it if they really really work at it. Turn it into a treasure hunt. Whatever.
#7 Satire Artists will never be taken seriously so don't expect to win anything.
#8 Just shut the frak up and write yer fic.
#1 Don't waste your time associating with assholes online. You get enough of them in real life that you want to get away from, so why not escape from them in an environment that actually makes the task easy?
#2 Don't join more than one BBS.
#3 Don't overuse the "f" bomb.
#4 The best diet plan is: if it's crap - don't eat it; working muscle groups fail - just get your heart rate up there and you're golden. Take a frakking WALK.
#5 Um - don't wait two years to get a haircut.
#6 Tinhat rants can be fun - just keep them out of site of ppl who take them seriously. It's kinda like turning Kes into a trash-mouth - don't do it on TV, don't do it in a forum, and don't post it on ff.net. If you can get away with it in your blog, be sure to mark the post as private and make sure all your friends can only find it if they really really work at it. Turn it into a treasure hunt. Whatever.
#7 Satire Artists will never be taken seriously so don't expect to win anything.
#8 Just shut the frak up and write yer fic.
Writing as TrekPyro.
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CoffeeCat
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Re: Idle Bits Of Wisdom
And here's #9 that I put in an entry about a week later...
and this is the life lesson I posted today:
And I've also come to realize that I can't seem to live without a thesaurus.
If it's TRUE- everyone already knows it so don't point it out. Unless they're really, really stupid.
and this is the life lesson I posted today:
Muse? Where did you go? I was just_getting_to_the_good_part! I was so much in the mood to finish that sexy scene last night, but I was literally falling asleep at the keyboard. So stupid me went to bed and left poor Tom and B'Elanna in the middle of... well. Never mind, we'll just save it for when I actually post it.
The life lesson for this is actually right on my icon. :-S (Icon reads: Coffee! You can sleep when you're dead!)
And I've also come to realize that I can't seem to live without a thesaurus.
Writing as TrekPyro.
Re: Idle Bits Of Wisdom
JadziaKathryn wrote:Hey, advice for the guys but no insights into the mysterious male mind for the ladies?
The "mysterious" male mind?
Re: Idle Bits Of Wisdom
Not really "wisdom" coming from someone like me, but here's a life lesson:
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL.
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hth2k
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Re: Idle Bits Of Wisdom
real basic: Stuff doesn't matter, it is just stiff. People are all that really matter. If someone matters to you tell them and show them. You may wake up one day and find they are gone.
A home without the ones you love is just a damn house.
Money is just stuff, it is usefull stuff, but in the end it is just stuff.
HtH
A home without the ones you love is just a damn house.
Money is just stuff, it is usefull stuff, but in the end it is just stuff.
HtH
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Emberchyld
- Commander
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Re: Idle Bits Of Wisdom
1. 150 years from now, no one is going to care about what you wore today or how your hair looked. Life is short-- don't waste your life worrying about what others think.
2. For every limitation, there's a loophole. It's incredible what you can do when you put your mind to it... and when you are willing to make a few adjustments in your life or to your goals. You might never be Michael Jordan, but that won't stop you from playing in your local basketball league, or assistant coaching a kid's team, or just shooting hoops in your front yard. Life is short-- this is one way that you can limit any regrets that you might feel
3. Dress in your "good clothes" to go to the supermarket, if you really love them. They'll do you no good just collecting dust in the closet (I'm a pretty dress kind-of girl. There's nothing like dressing in one of my nice dresses to lift up my spirits. And on a really bad day... I know of people who will throw on their ball gowns and tiaras, get a decadent piece of junk food, and plop on the sofa to watch a sappy movie. I'm not one of those, but I can see the allure.)
4. Girls: He really doesn't care about the saga at the hairdresser, your perceived weight problem, or your best friend's boyfriend cheating on her with etc etc. Keep it short. Guys: Girls don't want you to fix our problems, we just want to have you listen sympathise (at least pretend and be able to repeat our last sentences back at us).
5. Kids are not stupid. Don't talk to them like they are, or they'll just use it to their advantage.
6. Life is short. Don't waste it.
See a theme to most of my points?
2. For every limitation, there's a loophole. It's incredible what you can do when you put your mind to it... and when you are willing to make a few adjustments in your life or to your goals. You might never be Michael Jordan, but that won't stop you from playing in your local basketball league, or assistant coaching a kid's team, or just shooting hoops in your front yard. Life is short-- this is one way that you can limit any regrets that you might feel
3. Dress in your "good clothes" to go to the supermarket, if you really love them. They'll do you no good just collecting dust in the closet (I'm a pretty dress kind-of girl. There's nothing like dressing in one of my nice dresses to lift up my spirits. And on a really bad day... I know of people who will throw on their ball gowns and tiaras, get a decadent piece of junk food, and plop on the sofa to watch a sappy movie. I'm not one of those, but I can see the allure.)
4. Girls: He really doesn't care about the saga at the hairdresser, your perceived weight problem, or your best friend's boyfriend cheating on her with etc etc. Keep it short. Guys: Girls don't want you to fix our problems, we just want to have you listen sympathise (at least pretend and be able to repeat our last sentences back at us).
5. Kids are not stupid. Don't talk to them like they are, or they'll just use it to their advantage.
6. Life is short. Don't waste it.
See a theme to most of my points?
"In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different."
--Coco Chanel
Emberchyld's Livejournal: 45% dance, 45% skating, 5% Trying to convince others to watch Enterprise 5% everything else. You've been warned
Avatar made possible by Ivymae
--Coco Chanel
Emberchyld's Livejournal: 45% dance, 45% skating, 5% Trying to convince others to watch Enterprise 5% everything else. You've been warned
Avatar made possible by Ivymae
Re: Idle Bits Of Wisdom
hmmm...
1. The sexiest thing on a woman is intellect
2. The second sexiest thing on a woman is a gun
3. The third sexiest thing on a woman is a thong
1. The sexiest thing on a woman is intellect
2. The second sexiest thing on a woman is a gun
3. The third sexiest thing on a woman is a thong
"I call shotgun!"
"I call nine millimeter." - John and Cameron
Favorites:
Vulcan For...
Your Mom n' Me
"I call nine millimeter." - John and Cameron
Favorites:
Vulcan For...
Your Mom n' Me
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Linda
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Re: Idle Bits Of Wisdom
Well, being up there in years I guess I am obligated to contribute, LOL.
Friendship -
Don't cultivate those who stand on the sidelines and criticize; cultivate those who step in beside you and help you solve the problem.
Friendship -
Don't cultivate those who stand on the sidelines and criticize; cultivate those who step in beside you and help you solve the problem.
Working on a major fan fic project. Two-thirds done. Hope to put it up in the not TOO distant future.
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Linda
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Re: Idle Bits Of Wisdom
These aren't original pieces of wisdom, but they have kept me out of trouble:
Oil is cheap; engines are not.
Belts are cheap; engines are not.
Hose are..., well you get the point!
Listen to your engine. It talks to you all the time, tells you how it is feeling.
the Trip Tuckers are helpful to have around, but sometimes there is only you, so just ask yourself "what would Trip Tucker do" and you might just solve the problem yourself!
Oil is cheap; engines are not.
Belts are cheap; engines are not.
Hose are..., well you get the point!
Listen to your engine. It talks to you all the time, tells you how it is feeling.
the Trip Tuckers are helpful to have around, but sometimes there is only you, so just ask yourself "what would Trip Tucker do" and you might just solve the problem yourself!
Working on a major fan fic project. Two-thirds done. Hope to put it up in the not TOO distant future.
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Distracted
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Re: Idle Bits Of Wisdom
Hmmm. How about "Love your enemies. It confuses the hell out of 'em."?
Oh...and I know some medical ones for doctors. Aren't you curious about what docs are thinking as we ponder what to do? Well... here goes. The deepest darkest secrets of the medical profession...
About rashes in Dermatology: If it's wet, dry it. If it's dry, wet it.
About Surgery: Never let the skin stand between you and the diagnosis.
About Infectious Disease: Head colds are viral. Antibiotics don't help.
About medical diagnosis in general: If you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras.
Oh...and I know some medical ones for doctors. Aren't you curious about what docs are thinking as we ponder what to do? Well... here goes. The deepest darkest secrets of the medical profession...
About rashes in Dermatology: If it's wet, dry it. If it's dry, wet it.
About Surgery: Never let the skin stand between you and the diagnosis.
About Infectious Disease: Head colds are viral. Antibiotics don't help.
About medical diagnosis in general: If you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras.
sig by chrisis1033-
CoffeeCat
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Re: Idle Bits Of Wisdom
Distracted wrote:Hmmm. How about "Love your enemies. It confuses the hell out of 'em."?
never heard it put quite that way, but I've thought it before...
I think I want to make an LJ icon that says that.
Writing as TrekPyro.
Re: Idle Bits Of Wisdom
Tire pressure gauges are cheap too. Flipping the SUV isn't. Besides bending over to check the pressure is good stretching exercise.
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Mitchell
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Re: Idle Bits Of Wisdom
1) Duct tape, Super glue, Spit, an Balinwire ARE NOT FINAL REPAIRS TO ANYTHING!!!!!
Get it fixxed Right ASAP will ya!
2) Dont stand directly behind a cow. For 3 reasons. 1st reason, they kick, an it will hurt like a SOB. 2nd, an 3rd reasons will leaving you needing a bath, an fresh clean clothes.
3) Try an live life without any regrets. But remember no matter how hard you try to, your gona always atleast have one thing that will leave you wondering "What if I had taken path B, instead of path A. An just cause someone wonders "What if" dosnt mean they actualy wish they had taken that path.
4) Your better off pushing in the clutch/or driving in neutral when going down a steep hill while trailering a load, then trying to go down said hill in a low gear.
5) Dont piss off those of us who drive tractors. We'll let you by when its safe for both of us. You arnt in that big of a hurry so slow the hell down an wait to pass Damn it.
6) Just because the method to do a certin task has been around for awhile, dosnt mean it is out of date yet.
7) Findin a job that leaves you dog tired, warn out, starvin at the end of a day, has you actualy lookin forward to doing it all over again, an leaves you feeling like you did something truely usefull/important. Is a beautiful thing.
Get it fixxed Right ASAP will ya!
2) Dont stand directly behind a cow. For 3 reasons. 1st reason, they kick, an it will hurt like a SOB. 2nd, an 3rd reasons will leaving you needing a bath, an fresh clean clothes.
3) Try an live life without any regrets. But remember no matter how hard you try to, your gona always atleast have one thing that will leave you wondering "What if I had taken path B, instead of path A. An just cause someone wonders "What if" dosnt mean they actualy wish they had taken that path.
4) Your better off pushing in the clutch/or driving in neutral when going down a steep hill while trailering a load, then trying to go down said hill in a low gear.
5) Dont piss off those of us who drive tractors. We'll let you by when its safe for both of us. You arnt in that big of a hurry so slow the hell down an wait to pass Damn it.
6) Just because the method to do a certin task has been around for awhile, dosnt mean it is out of date yet.
7) Findin a job that leaves you dog tired, warn out, starvin at the end of a day, has you actualy lookin forward to doing it all over again, an leaves you feeling like you did something truely usefull/important. Is a beautiful thing.
TnT I love em.
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