The Happy News thread

[TPoptarts]

She said she "cares about everyone" so don't buy into this "can't love anyone" thing. It's just symantics. And, T'Poptarts it's way too early to tell whether or not you'll have kids. Even if you don't want to get married you can get yourself some kids, or some friends and some friends' kids. Once again, you are SO young. If you take another ten years to get into a settled life, you still have plenty of time for the possible family or extended family/group-of-close-friends-of-all-ages.

Uhhh no seriously. I can't love. Do a brain scan that part is just not there. And I'm too frelled up to have kids anyway.

[blacknblue]

*sigh*

Nobody knows what part of the brain controls love. If any one part does control it anyway.

And you are too young to be permanently messed up about anything. You are going through a temporary period of angst. We all do it. It hurts like hell, but it is (astonishingly) survivable. Hard to believe, I know, but you will pull through this eventually. I wouldn't go back to being your age for all the bribe money in Congress.

Someday you will find someone who makes you smile in spite of yourself. Until then, try to keep your mind open to possibilities.

[evcake]

What he said.
And also *sigh*
As much as it sucks being old...being young was so hard. I can't believe I made it through.

In the meantime, how about some Christmas cookies?

[TPoptarts]

Someday you will find someone who makes you smile in spite of yourself. Until then, try to keep your mind open to possibilities.

Dude I really can't. And I don't wanna either because people in love touch each other and have sex and all that yucks and I hate being touched and I think sex is like totally gross so that's really never ever gonna happen.

[Distracted]

T'Poptarts, believe it or not, it's entirely possible to love someone WITHOUT having sex with them or even wanting to. As a matter of fact, most of the time you're better off without the complication. It's only TV and the modern media that have distorted the meaning of the word "love" to imply that it necessarily has anything to do with sex. It doesn't have to, you know. Honestly. One of the most loving people I have ever met is a woman named Camille. I met her when I was in eighth grade chorus when she was my choral director, back when she still called herself Antonia (this was before the time when priests and nuns were alllowed to keep their birth names after they took vows). She's a Most Holy Sacrament sister, and as far as I know, she's never had sex in her life. Doesn't stop her from being a funny, joyous, silly, talented, wonderful human being who has influenced and been loved by thousands of children. The year Sister Antonia was my teacher, I wanted to be a teacher AND a nun! She made it look like so much fun and she was so wonderful! (Yes... I confess... I had a girl-crush on a nun. May God forgive me. )

And now you're like...

No... I'm not saying you should be a nun. I know you're not a Christian. What I'm trying to say is that physical relationships are not a requirement for a fulfilling life nor are they a prerequisite to loving and being loved. JMO.

[TPoptarts]

Yeah well, that still doesn't change the fact that I can't love

People actually tell me I should become a nun. Really

[CX]

Actually, the feeling I get from you is the same one I get from little kids that are still like, "Ew, cooties!" No offense, but that's just the kind of impression I'm getting.

[TPoptarts]

If you say so

[justTripn]

CX is right, D is right.

I remember a line from a movie (paraphrasing here). Some woman your age says to her first boyfriend "at first it seems like ew, picking each other's noses or something." Needless to say, she does get into it as the movie progresses. But it was a real and funny line.

On the other hand, some people ARE asexual. You get to define yourself. But you should read Clay Aiken's (American Idol runner-up's) autobigraphy "Learning to Sing." I don't know what his sexual orientation is, or if he has one. And yet he is a very passionate person. In his autobiography, with a chance to talk about ANYTHING, he seems to be most passionate about his grandparents and helping autistic children. OK.

This book is written in giant 2nd grade type and it was ghostwritten by another person with help from Clay Aiken who probably can't write well. But it is fascinating! Because it is honest. He has this complicated broken family background and was emotionally and physically abused by two fathers. But he realizes that that was their fault not his. He just tells it like it is. He doesn't excuse these people, or try to find a lesson. He says he wasn't sad when his stepfather died, except for it's affect on his mother and brother. And that doesn't make him a bad person, just a normal person.

[Bether6074]

I think in order to love, you also have to be willing to receive love and feel that you're worthy of receiving love. Love is validating. So maybe if you felt more confident and accepting of yourself, you would be better able to allow another human being into your heart. It isn't about perfection. It's about openness and understanding and acceptance. I agree that it doesn't have anything to do with sex. Sex is merely a physical expression and there are many other ways to express feelings. True love, IMO, has to do with the soul, not the body. So you have to trust and let yourself be vulnerable and imperfect. Maybe if your self-image improves, you would find yourself better able to love another. You seem like a bright and attractive young woman to me. Please don't lose hope in yourself.

[blacknblue]

English is a miserable language for describing Human emotions.

We have one word, love, to describe all the emotions that range from the feelings of a parent for a child, a child for a parent, siblings for each other, spouses for each other, lifelong friends of the same gender for each other, lifelong friends of different genders for each other, the erotic heat that takes place when a pair bonding is in the process of being formed, the feeling that a person has for their homeland, the feeling that a person has for their deity, and the desire for a cupcake.

On the other hand, how many ways in English are there to say kill? I won't bother to start listing them, I would be here all day.

Love is both a verb and a noun. It is also an adverb, just to make life even more complicated. You can feel love (noun). You can love someone (verb). You can act in a loving manner (adverb).

How about this? Love is a choice. It isn't something that happens to you like a bolt of lightening. You have to decide that you are going to become a loving person by acting in a loving manner. You do that by caring about people. That's all it takes. Give a care. Doesn't have to be much. The more you care, the more you will find yourself wanting to do. The more you do, the more positive feedback you will receive, and the more you will increase the feeling of caring. It is a feedback loop that constantly intensifies throughout your life.

Or, you can pull back and isolate yourself and live alone. Which sucks.

[Asso]

English is a miserable language for describing Human emotions.

No.
It 's rich, malleable, flexible, condensed and flowing.
Believe me.
It's so.

For the remainder... well said, blacknblue!

[justTripn]

Well said black 'n blue. Wow! You are so mysterious. From what I gather you are a construction engineer/biologist-ecologist/poet-writer/psychologist-counselor . . . I mean that's my working hypothesis.

[Linda]

And well said, Asso! But English words are hard to spell - so many exceptions to the spelling rules. My only comparison languages are Spanish and Ojibwe, and I only have a tentative grasp of those languages - but enough to appreciate the flow and sense the spirit of them a little.

[evcake]

Asso is right. But most people don't use many of it's lovely words. There's a heavy discrimination against having much of a vocabulary. Elitist or somethng.

To these aged (and presumptuous) ears, T'PopTarts, it sounds like you're saying "No one can love me." Which can't possibly be true.