What are you...

[TPoptarts]

Watching: A Bug's Life. I remember I wanted to go see it like when it just came out but my parents only bought tickets for my sisters. So I'm watching it a whole decade later.

[Elessar]

Watching: A Bug's Life. I remember I wanted to go see it like when it just came out but my parents only bought tickets for my sisters. So I'm watching it a whole decade later.

Man that f'in sucks.

It was like... 3, maybe 4 years before I watched Pearl Harbor even though I really wanted to see it, because it had been something me and this girl were gonna see together one weekend, and then we got into a fight that turned into 'a break' that turned into 'a break-up', so I didn't see it for a very long time. Finally, I had no choice without awkwardness, because my dad was putting it on when I was visiting one day. Kind of poetic irony that we were watching it on the same foldout-couch I'd shared w/ the girl.

[enterprikayak]

what a sad story.

[Alelou]

Kind of poetic irony that we were watching it on the same foldout-couch I'd shared w/ the girl.

UGH! Now I'm visualizing all sorts of things I shouldn't...

[Elessar]

Kind of poetic irony that we were watching it on the same foldout-couch I'd shared w/ the girl.

UGH! Now I'm visualizing all sorts of things I shouldn't...

It's actually a funny story. We were goin out for like 6 months before this and (in highschool - I was 16, she was 17) and it took like a month to convince her dad to even consider letting her go to my dad's with me. It was like brokering a used car deal... we started at her staying for 2 weeks and worked down to 4 days

When we got there, the conversation oh about 7:00 pm that night went something like this:

DAD: Well your mom said you two have to sleep in different rooms, but I was talking to Bobby (my brother) about this and he said that didn't seem very fair.
JOHN: Hm?
DAD: He said, 'How old's John again?' and I said, '17 I think', and he said, 'Oh let em share a bed'. So uh... yeah. Just be careful.
JOHN: O-K

So for a 16 yr old kid that was a pretty cool week.

[Distracted]

Sorry, but I think your dad dropped the ball on that one. JMO.

[Pitseleh]

What about the girl's dad?

[Distracted]

I'm assuming that the girl's dad took Elessar's mom at her word when she promised they'd be in different rooms, but since she wasn't living in the same household, when push came to shove all she could do was express her wishes and the wishes of the girl's parents to her ex. Which Elessar's dad in an (IMO) misguided attempt to be his son's buddy promptly ignored. You can't be your kid's buddy and be their parent at the same time. It just doesn't work.

[Elessar]

I'm assuming that the girl's dad took Elessar's mom at her word when she promised they'd be in different rooms, but since she wasn't living in the same household, when push came to shove all she could do was express her wishes and the wishes of the girl's parents to her ex. Which Elessar's dad in an (IMO) misguided attempt to be his son's buddy promptly ignored. You can't be your kid's buddy and be their parent at the same time. It just doesn't work.

Well he waasn't tryin to be cool about it, I remember his voice and the way he said it, he just didn't think it was irresponsible to do it. He knew I'd had sex before and he was making a judgement call that I could be trusted to do so again with protection... But it's also different when you go see a parent once a year, too. There's something to say about their place in your life no longer being a "parent" by strict definition.

I understand your position on teen sex, but from a teen's point of view, it seems pointless, because we'd have found a way anyway. Teens always do. I think that teens that don't engage in premarital sex when they're logistically able don't not engage in it because their parents physically stop them or even verbally stop them, I think it's because they're not raised to not have premarital sex. And I wasn't raised to not have premarital sex, so trying to stop me 16 years down the line wouldn't work

[Distracted]

I think that teens that don't engage in premarital sex when they're logistically able don't not engage in it because their parents physically stop them or even verbally stop them, I think it's because they're not raised to not have premarital sex. And I wasn't raised to not have premarital sex, so trying to stop me 16 years down the line wouldn't work

Exactly. The ball was not necessarily dropped at that moment, mind you, but I really think your parents didn't do their job properly. I see entirely TOO many upset kids with STD's they acquired DESPITE consistent use of "protection" to not point out the dangers of your upbringing for the benefit of any teens who might be lurking.

Lemme see... what can you get even if you use protection properly every time? Hmmm. There's HPV for one. Men can acquire strains of the virus asymptomatically which they can later pass on to the mother of their children, giving her cervical cancer. Some authorities even implicate HPV in some cases of throat cancer. And then there's herpes. You don't even need to go all the way for either one of those. And condoms can break, opening up a whole world of infectious and parental possibilities. Not to mention the psychological consequences of intimacy before one is emotionally developed enough to deal with it.

Sorry. Can't help it. It's my job.


To get this thread back on track....

I am doing the final revisions for episode 5 of Lerteiran Chronicles when I'm not working or doing laundry. And I'd much rather not have to do the last 2 things.

[justTripn]

Oh My! Here's my poistion: 16 and 17 year-olds, maybe they will and maybe they won't, but NOT AT MY HOUSE! 18 year-olds are off at college and are legal adults so . . . glad it hasn't come up. But he's right about one thing. By 16 or 17, they are going to do what they are going to do based on how you raised them. I'm the embarassing example of a "good girl" (I put that in quotes because I am not really against sex, obviously) who at 16-17 was madly in love with my boyfriend, who had a car and yeah, well, I was "good". So whatever you want your kids to do or not do, teach it to them early.

[JadziaKathryn]

Oh My! Here's my poistion: 16 and 17 year-olds, maybe they will and maybe they won't, but NOT AT MY HOUSE!

Well, I have my religious convictions, so my ideas about abstinence are based on God's plan. But I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16. This wasn't a problem, despite my complaints at the time. My first actual date was when I was 22. (Finding a boyfriend is hard at a college that's 2/3 women where a good chunk of the men are gay and moreover, I'm only interested in dating a man who's committed to God.)

I'm looking forward to this next chapter, Dis!!!

[justTripn]

I should add, they are going to do what they are going to do based on how you raised them AND other interenal and external influences. Point is, there is not way to directly control them at age 16 or 17.

Just last week, this boy wanted to sleep over at our house (he's 17) so his mother insisted she talk to me on the phone. She wanted to know about my parenting philosophy and I was like, They are 17 so I dont' really "watch them" but all the boys over here (the other friends) are wonderful, I've known them forever, they are good kids.

She's like, "No, but are you going To WATCH them?" I was like no, I'll be on the third floor on the computer. "But you'll BE there right?" So she is so anxious, that I promise to watch them. So it's 10:00pm and I'm washing dishing and watching them play basketball out back. And they ALL wander off. All 7 boys. So I call on the cell phone. "Where did you go?" We decided to play basketball at the park. I go, "Get back here." An hour later they are still missing. I call again "OH we're watching movies. We're sleeping over at Jake's house." (next door)

*sigh*

[Linda]

JT, you are not obligated to conform to this other mother's "watch them all the time at age 17" rule! I suppose that if you said you were not going to watch them every second, that she would refuse to let her boy play with yours. But you tried to do as she asked, which is laudable...but watching them didn't seem to work for you, LOL, they wandered off... And it interfered with YOUR activities, your normal computer time. That's not fair to you. Geez, I'd call the mother and say "they are staying over at Jakes house now, here is the phone number so you can call and get Jake's mother to watch them".

[justTripn]

Yes, I only agreed to this impossible task because the mother sounded like she would come and get the boy otherwise . . . but this mother needs to get real.