What are you...

[Bether6074]

Sometimes, T'Poptarts, you have to let yourself feel the bad stuff in order to help yourself move through it. Writing can be very helpful, but it may get worse before it gets better. Phobias suck, don't they? I have a whole bunch myself. I have a fear of driving on big highways. I've been trying more lately,though. The hospital staff should have treated you respectfully and been understanding about your needle phobia.

[TPoptarts]

^ Well feeling the bad stuff doesn't help it only makes it worse. Feeling the bad stuff is what caused things to become this bad in the first place. I can't move through it because feeling the bad stuff and going through all that never makes anything any easier, it never changes anything for the better the next time, in fact things just get worse all the time and it doesn't even have nothing to do with what I had to go through before that, it's just like since I obviously get older and the phobia is still there, and no one's ever trying to help or understand and they just keep treating me like it's all my fault and I'm "acting like a baby", and like every time I'm "acting like a baby" I'm like older than the last time I was "acting like a baby" and that rewards me with an even harsher attitude from "medical professionals", or my parents and teachers when I was a kid etc, and not that they even know what it was like last time I'm just an "old person acting like a baby" and I guess they adjust the attitude by the numbers.

Yeah it's hard to believe my bonehead mother could actually treat me WORSE every time I had to get a frelling needle. Because it was horrible from the beginning like she'd always have like a "shame parade" at the doctor's office that she would be dragging me in (and out afterwards) I was already like half unconscious and barely breathing, and she'd just grab my arm and drag me across the floor all the way while literally screaming at the top of her lungs her voice got all screechy she was screaming at me so loudly all the way to and from the doctor's office in front of everyone, like about how I should start acting "like a human being" and what's wrong with me and how I'm embarrassing her etc etc etc, and how the other kids are good kids and don't act like me, well so frelling what and the other kid's mother is thinner, like what the frell does that have to do with anything. People are different I'm scared and they're not. And yeah she'd just drag me and scream at me like that the whole way and inside the whole time we had to wait, and she'd beat me up for "misbehaving" and fainting, again in front of everyone even the doctors and the nurses when we were inside, and would just tell everyone what a retarded baby I'm being etc etc, and tell the staff not to listen to me because I'm just acting like a baby and I should get over myself and all kinda stuff like that. And then after that she'd also punish me as if that wasn't enough. And it only got worse with the years. Like can you imagine the above getting WORSE from "you're 8 years old stop acting like a baby" to "you're 12 years old stop acting like a baby"??

So no it doesn't help to feel the bad stuff. It doesn't help to go through it. Because it doesn't change anything so it's not even worth it. It gives me nightmares and makes me cry for hours every night. And it also doesn't help to get reactions like "I'm proud of you" (Alelou). Sorry I'm really not trying to be an ass or whatever and I know you didn't mean it like that, I'm just trying to explain from the scope of my experience, and for me it just doesn't help it makes me feel worse, because it feels like saying you're proud of me for like getting kidnapped and tortured. I really don't feel like I should be "proud" of anything. I feel ashamed and humiliated and traumatized. Maybe at some point in the very distand past, like obviously if there was no "shame parade" involved and someone actually tried to pay attention to my needs, maybe then a pat on the back would have helped. But now it's just too late I guess.

[Bether6074]

I just meant recognizing your feelings, acknowledging them, attempting to understand them and then trying to accept them. And sometimes exploring all of that makes you feel kind of lousy, but it can be helpful to get it out in the open. This method has been very helpful for me. It doesn't solve anything, you're right, but hopefully you have a better understanding of the whys behind them. I suppose different folks need different ways of dealing with things, though. I hope you find what works best for you.

[JadziaKathryn]

Last night there was a sydicated NCIS episode guest starring Connor Trinneer as a drug dealer. I thought he did a great job, and also that he looked good with brown hair.

[Kevin Thomas Riley]

...watching?

I've seen the first five episodes of the new season of 24 and I must say I'm pleasantly surprised. The last season was a real disappointment and the rumours about the new one didn't inspire much confidence in me. But so far it looks all right.

First off, Tony rocks! And I also have a new favourite (see my new avatar) in special agent Renee Walker, played by none other than Annie Wersching , better known around these parts as Liana from ENT's Oasis. She looks quite different from back then.

[Alelou]

Wow, I really wouldn't have recognized her if you hadn't pointed it out. Guess the holographic crew had a good supply of bleach and plenty of time to use it on her!

[TPoptarts]

Downloading: HOUSE!! Whoa it's been TOO LONG

[Kevin Thomas Riley]

Wow, I really wouldn't have recognized her if you hadn't pointed it out. Guess the holographic crew had a good supply of bleach and plenty of time to use it on her!

Yeah, I know! I've always thought that Liana was cute, in a home-wrecker kinda way , but there's just something about the red hair and freckles the actress has for real.

[Alelou]

From a friend who teaches elementary school in Philadelphia, about today's inauguration:

There are many things I will never forget about it, but probably among them will be the horrified faces of my students during the 21-gun cannon salute: "Why are they shooting at him?" one gasped.

[TPoptarts]

Watching: X-Men TAS still my all time favorite cartoon and version of X-Men (well along with the "older" comics like from the 90's).

[Reanok]

Watching Jolene Blalock in 10 Items or less again.

[Elessar]

Watching Jolene Blalock in 10 Items or less again.

The movie or the show?

[Reanok]

A half hour Comedy show on Tbs Jolene's show Star Trok will be shown again tonight at 10:55 p.m. eastern time tonight.You can also watch it at the Tbs webpage for 10 Items or less and they also have videos of deleted scenes that weren't shown on tv.Link http://www.tbs.com/shows/10itemsorless

[Alelou]

?? I went there but I don't see any Jolene. Is there an episode title or something?

[Asso]

The same happened to me. Please, answer to Alelou, Reanok. You know my interest about this matter!