The Whine thread.

[Alelou]

Just take care of yourself, WG. Someday I'm sure you'll be able to return the favor, but it's hardly worth worrying about it right now.

[WarpGirl]

It is when he's sick too. Oh well I just can't be sick anyway, this isn't good. I hope I'm not getting the flu, any type of flu mama will kill me.

[Distracted]

I guess it's a minor whine compared to the others posted lately, but I've just been forced out of the church I've been attending since I was a child by the new pastor's crazy prehistoric music preferences. I've been singing songs to guitar and tamborine and/or drums at church since I was a child. This new priest has decided that since HE doesn't like guitar and drums that all of us have to suffer through organ music in Latin and hymns that were old when I was a baby. I really don't get it. The guy isn't any older than I am, but he's got this obsession with outdated pre-Vatican II hymns that borders on OCD. First he forbade drums. He wouldn't even let me use my little egg shaker, for pity's sake. Said it grated on his nerves, and since he's the priest, of course we all have to cater to his preferences, right? Then he decided that piano was okay but the guitars had to go. Now he's telling us what hymns he wants us to sing. I went to practice today and when I saw the songs we were supposed to sing I just couldn't do it anymore. Thank goodness there's a Catholic church on every corner down here. I've already joined another group at another church. It's hard, though. This is my home parish. I grew up in this church.

Music has always been a large part of worship for me. I'd frankly rather attend mass with no music at all than to attend when the music grates on my nerves. And a lot of the evening mass goers feel like I do. I know this because since he's made the changes the attendance at the 5 pm mass where the guitar group has always sung has visibly diminished. Why should this man dictate to an entire community what kind of music they're allowed to worship with? He's got all of the other masses to turn into pre-Vatican II High Masses complete with Latin responses and incense. Why can't he leave just one mass in the 21st century? It makes me furious. And then I feel guilty.

Yep. Catholic guilt. It's a wonderful thing.

[Alelou]

Ouch.

You'd think this guy would see people voting with their feet. Maybe he's so burned out he just doesn't care. And they bemoan the fact that parishes these days so often have to close or combine...

In fact, you could almost imagine a truly Machiavellian bishop thinking, "Hmm, this parish is a prime candidate for closure, but first we need to drive down membership ...oh, I know, I'll send them Father OCD."

[enterprikayak]

Father OCD.

Poor Dis.

[Distracted]

Father OCD. Hmmm. I like it. It's a lot nicer than what I've been calling him.

I'm actually starting to think it might be the other way around, though. My newly ex-church is one of the largest and most well-attended Catholic churches in the city. I think they didn't know what to do with this guy, he's such an obsessed ascetic nut, so they sent him to where he'd do less damage. I can just hear the bishop now.

"We can't send this guy to parish A. He'll drive them all away and we'll have to close the church. Wait...Look... these guys have a great census. They can afford to take a hit without having to close, so let's send him there."

And I can't complain to him, that's for sure. He's such a hair shirt kinda guy. I'm sure he'd say that listening to music I hate is good for me and that I should offer my pain up to God as a penance for my sins.

[Linda]

Wow, I am sorry about that, Dis, to have to leave your childhood church to participate in the type of service you enjoy. Yes, why can't they leave a variety of music in the different masses? Sounds like your priest needs a lesson in humility. My husband, Jim, (lapsed Catholic) unfortunately would agree with that priest in at least one thing; Jim would love to have the Latin mass back. He says it is more aesthetic. But I doubt that would bring him back to the fold. Jim likes jazz and guitar music, though, listens to it all the time.

The Native American Catholic Church (Church of the Great Spirit) here in Milwaukee uses Indian pottery for the communion vessels. And drums are deffinitly allowed in the church along with shakers of all kinds - some are made out of turtle shells. Some prayers are in Native American lanugages and many songs used are Native. The priest of this church has embraced the local culture; he even has his own dance outfit and dances at powwows. It seems kind of egotistical of your priest to go against the local culture!

[Distracted]

That Native American Catholic Church sounds fascinating. I'd love to attend a mass like that.

And I really don't think this man thinks he's being self-centered. He's got such a rigid idea of what's right and proper for the church that I'm certain he believes that he's doing all of this for the good of his parishioners. This is the same guy that announced from the pulpit during his first Lent as our pastor that he was "inviting all parishioners to fast on bread and water with him all day on every Friday during Lent", as if it were some kind of exclusive club he was inviting us to join. He's making up for his childhood, I'm sure. You'd understand better what is going on if you ever met the man. Think "Father Hopeless Dork", and you'd have the right idea. The guy has a high pitched nasal voice sort of like a white Steve Urkel, wears black hornrim glasses, is terminally stooped and about thirty pounds underweight. He must have been mercilessly picked on as a child. I frankly would not be surprised if he wore a button down shirt with a pocket protector and high water pants under his cassock. No wonder he's on a power trip. He must be in hog heaven now that he's in charge. I would feel sorry for him if he weren't so annoying.

[Bether6074]

It sounds like the Father could use a good round of therapy...

I know how much the church choir means to you, so I'm really sorry to hear about that.

[Asso]

Me too!

[WarpGirl]

It seems to me that this guy ought to read his Gospel again. Christ taught mostly to uneducated ie "ordinary" people in ways where they understood what he was teaching. How is a congregation supposed to learn anything from this man if he is using a language no ordinary person uses.

[Reanok]

Distracted I'm really sorry to hear you had to leave the choir you enjoyed being in and a church that was a part of your life for so long. He sounds very rigid narrowminded and inflexible his word is law.A person who won't listen to other people's concerns or opinions.

[Linda]

Distracted, it sounds like you understand this man psychologically. And it sounds like your solution is best...leave your church for one that fits better, for now. Maybe you can go back to your home church if he moves on to another assignment?

You are certainly welcome to come visit us and we will go to mass at the Church of the Great Spirit! I will be going there this Sunday to help with a dinner after mass which is a fund raiser for the New Year's Eve Sobriety Powwow that we hold at the state fair park as a free alternative to drinking in the New Year on Dec 31. The powwow is a Native American event but open to every one and comes with a free New Year's Eve potluck dinner. The city bus system is free that evening too, so that is a big help. People who are struggling to maintain sobriety are recognized and honored at the powwow. It is a fun family event too, special dances for children and intertribal dances where non-Native people are encouraged to try the dances.

Uh, people outside Wisconsin may not realize, but alcoholism is a very BIG problem in this state. Lots of alcohol related vehicle crashes, injuries and deaths. Lots of fights fueled by alcohol. And Native people are greatly effected by it as well as the large German population here. My daughter has a foster child whose alcoholic mother fell down some stairs at a tavern and broke her neck and died. The child's father is homeless and drinking constantly and can't take care of his child. That is kind of a normal thing around here.

Oops, guess I got off the subject! Well it is the whine thread, right?

[Distracted]

Thanks for the sympathy, guys. I feel kind of dumb making such a big deal of this. I really shouldn't blame the priest. It's not as if Catholic priests are free to be flexible. I can't imagine living the life he's living. You'd have to be more than a little OCD to tolerate all that ritual without going nuts.

I'm moving on. The new parish I plan to join is a little more easygoing... at least the schedule is at any rate. They've got a 7 pm mass on Sunday so everyone has a last chance to get to mass even if they went out of town for the weekend. It's the only Catholic church in town with mass that late on a Sunday. I went a few Sundays ago and the place was packed to the rafters. Now that's flexibility!

I know what you mean about alcohol, Linda. Cajuns have a larger per person consumption of beer than Germans do. Alcoholism is a major problem down here.

[WarpGirl]

I think alcoholism is sort of the "open" secret plague in many places. The thing of it is alcoholism isn't stigmatized the way other things are, like cocaine, and other drugs. Not that making it illegal would work, because they tried that already, and look what happened. Besides when the celebrity-of-the-week gets a slap on the wrist for a DUI when they've had twice the legal limit, people especially kids are going to think it isn't that bad. Also before cars a drinker wasn't considered a piller of society but society believed he was only hurting himself. Not true of course, but with cars came a lot more death. Yet the attitude still seems to be one of don't get behind a wheel of a cer and it's ok. Really what people should start saying is learn how to be responsible then you wouldn't have to worry about being an idiot and driving.