The great lines game

[Distracted]

Boy Meets Girl, my Douglas Adams tribute.

[Kotik]

Though shalt be excused for tooting thy own horn for it is a magnificent piece of writing, fair Lady

[Weeble]

Dis,

Not sure how i managed to have never read that one before. Friggin' hilarious. the crack about the pilots and their "expendability"

I wonder if this was the outline sans gator that TPTB used....

[Distracted]

Might seem like it, but I assure you that I wrote the story after the series was already off the air.

[lfvoy]

Oh! I'll play!

"Have you forgotten that a Vulcan husband has the prerogative to protect his mate?"

"Have you forgotten that a Starfleet officer is not supposed to disobey a direct order?"

They were both startled to hear the captain's voice suddenly emanating from the console. "Have you both forgotten that your comm is open? Stand by."

From Darkness Intruding by Alelou. This "busted" scene makes me laugh every single time.

[Kotik]

That's hillarious

[Alelou]

Thanks. Cheers me up after a birthday that began with cat vomit and then hit its nadir in the emergency room with a badly sprained ankle.

On the plus side, it's not broken (I could have sworn I heard the thing snap), my dear husband placated me with lobster (AND did the dishes), and while streaming Netflix with my foot up I discovered the joy that is Sherlock.

Back to elevating and maybe another Sherlock episode...

[Weeble]

What, What, It is the birthday of the queen of angst?

Happy Birthday Lady!!!!

[putaro]

Ouch! I hope you didn't sprain your ankle by slipping in the cat vomit. That would be especially gross.

Happy Birthday!

[panyasan]

Happy birthday, Alelou!
Enjoy watching Sherlock!

[Alelou]

Thanks so much, folks. Plan to watch the last of three available eps of Sherlock today while I lounge about. Must suss out more, if there are more.

[panyasan]

I love this scene, writing by Rigil Kent in STAR TREK: Endeavor: "Vigrid". I put it in spoilers, because the topic is a bit R-rated.

SPOILER!!!:

"As I was saying," Archer interrupted before T'Pol could respond; sometimes she could be as bad as Trip was with their verbal foreplay, especially when she was in a playful mood as she was tonight. That was a weird thought: a Vulcan in a playful mood. "She confirmed that she knew the two of you were ... uh ... bonded before Elysium." The unique couple exchanged a glance and he wondered what they were discussing as he continued. "How many knew? Off the record."

"Just three," Trip said. He reached for the coffee pot but hesitated when T'Pol discreetly shifted in place. Without a word, he grabbed the water instead and Jon bit back a comment about Tucker being housebroken, deciding to reserve that for a later date. "Phlox, Malcolm and Hoshi," Trip finished.

It hurt that they hadn't trusted him and Archer knew it showed on his face. Trip seemed to realize that he deserved an explanation.

"Telling Phlox was ..."

"... necessary," T'Pol finished for him; they had been doing that all night and Jon doubted that they were even aware of it.

"Yeah. I mean, I'm human-"

"My human," T'Pol corrected in a soft voice and Trip gave her another look even as Jon grinned. He felt an unexpected surge of emotion that she would let him see this side of her.

"-and there's not a whole lot of information on how humans take to bein' bonded to Vulcans." Jon nodded; it made perfect sense to bring the doctor in on this.

"Logical," he commented, trying to keep the hurt from his voice, but Trip had known him for far too long to not hear it. For that matter, so had T'Pol. "Why Malcolm?" It wasn't the question he wanted to ask, but grown adults didn't ask if one friend - even if that friend was no longer among the living - had supplanted another in 'best friend' status. Not if that adult wanted to keep at least a modicum of self-respect.

"Uhhh ..." Trip was stalling, his face flushing with something that could only be embarrassment. T'Pol shot him a glance and Archer thought he could see amusement in her eyes. "Malcolm's involvement was-"

"Inadvertent." Yep, T'Pol was amused. Jon's curiosity was abruptly piqued; anything Trip didn't want to talk about had to be good.

"Yeah. He found out by accident." Tucker refused to make eye contact as he rushed on, clearly hoping his old friend wouldn't push. "Malcolm brought in Hoshi to help spread disinformation and how did he put the other part, T'Pol?" Jon jumped in first.

"Wait. How did Malcolm find out?"

"Ummm ..." Again, Trip stalled. And again, T'Pol stepped in to elaborate, her eyes dancing.

"Commander Reed interrupted us during intercourse."

"Dammit, T'Pol!" Trip's face turned bright red as Jon started to snicker.

"You were going to lie to him," she replied calmly.

"I was gonna make something up, yeah!" Archer's snicker was threatening to degenerate into a full-blown laugh. "I sure as hell wasn't gonna tell him that Malcolm walked in on us during sex!"

"I believe your expression at the time was 'barged,’ not walked."

"This I have to hear," Archer commented between chuckles. Trip shot him a look that promised vile retribution if the matter wasn't dropped. Ignorant of his embarrassment or more likely amused by it, T'Pol continued.

"Mister Reed entered Trip's quarters fearing for his safety." At Jon's surprised look, she elaborated. "Enterprise had only recently repulsed an Orion boarding party and there were concerns that some stragglers were still aboard." Jon remembered that; it had been three or four months after little Lizzie had died and a large number of the crew had still been on edge, none more so than the chief tactical officer. At least this explained why Malcolm had gotten even more ... British around T'Pol at the time. Tucker suddenly snorted with laughter.

"You should have seen his face, Jon! He jumped into my quarters with his pistol drawn and just froze!" He made a face, eyes bugging out and mouth hanging open; Archer could easily imagine Malcolm Reed's face making those very same facial contortions. The two humans started to laugh.

"Commander Reed did turn an interesting shade of purple," T'Pol commented with laughter in her eyes.

"And then," Trip choked out through his laughter. "And then ... T'Pol looked at him ..." He broke down, laughing so hard that he couldn't continue.

"I merely asked him to reschedule his appointment with Commander Tucker to a more appropriate hour," T'Pol deadpanned. Their laughter echoed around them and, for the first time in a very long time, Jonathan Archer felt as though he had come home.

It was a good feeling.

[Kotik]

A reproductive funny

“I trust you have had time to think about your…indiscretion?”
That brought him back to reality. “
Oh fer chrissake, I tried to spare your feelings not cheat on you.” He rolled his eyes as he spoke, determined to win this time.
“I am a Vulcan, I have no feelings.”
“Three kids say different, babe.”
from The Cursor's Mom and Dad and self-sealing stem bolts

[lfvoy]

Does it have to be TnT?

I often read Rigil Kent's stories out loud as a way of deliberately slowing myself down*; I'm a fast reader, but his work is so packed with details that I've occasionally missed things by reading too fast. But there's one scene in "Icarus" that switches so fast from tense to hilarious that I can't read it out loud; I lose it and dissolve into relieved laughter every time.

“What the hell is goin' on?” Captain Tucker demanded as he limped forward. He was pale and leaned heavily on a cane, but the fire in his eyes was intimidating and fierce. Wincing with each step he took, Tucker approached slowly, his features set in a scowl darker than any Rick had seen before. Phlox followed closely behind the captain and, from the expression on the doctor's face, he was not happy that his patient had chosen to become mobile.

“Lieutenant Commander Eisler was making a mistake,” Admiral Black responded crisply, his eyes taking in Tucker's wan appearance.

“Lieutenant Commander Eisler doesn't make mistakes,” the captain retorted in an equally sharp tone. Rick straightened slightly, a flush of pride washing over him at the unexpected praise. Master Chief Mackenzie gave him a slight glance and Eisler nodded in response to the unspoken question; without comment, the COB quietly returned his pistol to its holster.

[...]

“I think the captain is going take the admiral to the woodshed,” Hsiao gleefully commented, his words obviously meant only for Devereux's ears, and Eisler winced slightly at the disrespect in the comment.

“Lieutenant Hsiao,” he said loudly as turned back toward the command chair. The helmsman straightened in his seat. “In the future,” Rick said firmly, “you will keep your personal opinions about superior officers to yourself.” Hsiao's expression quickly melted into one of regret. “You are an officer, and it is your duty to act like an officer at all times.” The lieutenant nodded quickly in acknowledgement. “No matter how accurate or well founded such an opinion may be about an incompetent senior officer who couldn't find his ass with a map and a flashlight,” Eisler continued, his own expression unchanging, “you will keep your mouth shut. Is that clear, Lieutenant?”

“Crystal, sir.” Hsiao's efforts to keep from grinning were rapidly failing.

I should mention here that I've done a few dribs and drabs of voice work and have learned how to keep my delivery even despite funny lines. I even once had the funniest line in an entire radio play directed straight at me. But even with that experience, I still can't hold on when I read this scene out loud to myself. Masterful work, Rigil!

* There are advantages to living alone with only a cat to hear you reading.

[Hummingbird2]

From Amiculus by Plumtuckered (chapter 5):

"You know when I stared up at the stars as a kid, I used to dream of all the wonderful things I'd get to see. It never dawned on me that there would be so much—bad stuff out here."

T'Pol followed his gaze. She could see a few bright stars already twinkling in the twilight. "As a child I too looked upon the stars."

"You're kidding."

"No. While other Vulcan children saw a sky full of possible scientific discoveries, I saw—adventures." T'Pol could see Tucker look at her from the corner of her eye. "I was not a—typical Vulcan child, Commander," she said.

"No, T'Pol," replied the engineer, his voice warm. "I would guess that you weren't."