Post a Scene

Just what it says on the tin.

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Distracted
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Re: Post a Scene

Postby Distracted » Tue Oct 16, 2007 1:29 am

Very effective. It evokes emotion and has a good rhythm. I like the repetition of the title in the body of the poem, too. Very nice work, CX.
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CX
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Re: Post a Scene

Postby CX » Tue Oct 16, 2007 1:36 am

Thanks Dis. :)

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Re: Post a Scene

Postby justTripn » Tue Oct 16, 2007 12:24 pm

Good job, . . . again.
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Linda
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Re: Post a Scene

Postby Linda » Tue Oct 16, 2007 12:39 pm

Yes, very effective and powerfull and based on an all too common occurrence. Most of us have been touched by the emotions of such an incident, one way or another, and can instantly relate to the feelings your words so well describe. But in a way, your words are also purging, a start of the healing that takes so long after such an intimate violation.
Working on a major fan fic project. Two-thirds done. Hope to put it up in the not TOO distant future.

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CX
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Re: Post a Scene

Postby CX » Tue Oct 16, 2007 2:21 pm

Thanks.

Reading what was on some of those shirts was pretty disheartening.

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Re: Post a Scene

Postby enterprikayak » Wed Oct 17, 2007 6:42 pm

Reposting my Raven which I wrote one year ago yesterday. Happy Hallowe'en! :twisted:

(It's only so long because I rewrote each line of the original and it's a long damn annoying poem. So now it's a long damn annoying TrekPoem.)

***********************************************
The Vulcan
by Enter PriseScribe Poe
***********************************************


Once upon a midnight dreary, while Trip pondered warp-field theory,
Scanning many a quaint and curious schematic of the core,
When he nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at his quarters door.
‘‘Tis some crewperson,’ he muttered, ‘tappin’ at my quarters door -
‘Only this, and nothin’ more.’

But, distinctly he remembered there was a certain, stacked crewmember,
Who used to come and talk - and who would sit upon the floor.
Eagerly he wished her there: tho’ they’d not meet 'til the morrow,
He felt a Human pang of sorrow - sorrow for this, and what is more:
For the spare and reticent maiden, (whom he used to ‘hold still’ for).
Sleepless Trip forevermore.

And the silken, sad, yearning tapping made him fairly certain -
Thrilled him - filled him with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of his heart, he stood repeating,
‘‘Tis some visitor entreatin’ entrance at my quarters door -
‘Some late visitor entreatin’ entrance at my quarters door; -
‘This it is, and nothin’ more,’

He guessed who tapped: he dearly longed’ter spill his secret heart upon her,
‘Sorry,’ called he, ‘Madam, uh, truly your forgiveness I implore;
‘Fact is, I was nappin’, and so when gently you came rappin’,
‘When, uh, faintly you came tappin’, ignorin’ the chime upon my door,
‘So I barely even heard you’ - here Trip opened wide the door; -
But…darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long he stood there engineering,
Doubting, wondering at the flight of his shifty paramour.
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And not one word was there spoken but a whispered ‘Shut the door!'
‘T’Pol?’ Trip whispered, as another hiss bade him shut the door!
With its own hiss of alt+F4.

Back into the chamber turning, all his soul within him burning,
Soon again Trip heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
‘Surely, said he, ‘it is she of the pointed aural apparatus;
‘Let me see then, what she wants, and this mystery explore -
‘Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore -
‘It’s just T’Pol and nothin’ more!’

Gifted lamp he lit a-sputter, and in its glow: clarified butter:
He perceived the stately Vulcan of those saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she;
But, with mien of taut, hot lady, perched upon his quarters floor -
Poised, a bird-like genus gallus, just there on his quarters floor -
Perched - and sat - and nothing more.

Then this em’rald bird beguiling Trip’s sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance she wore,
‘Vulcan scientific maven, thou,’ he said, ‘art sure no raven.
‘Vastly prim and ancient Vulcan wandering from the corridor -
‘What’s this unt’wardly tap-tap you tap upon tritanyum door?’
Quoth the Vulcan? ‘Nevermore.’

Much Trip marvelled this hot night-owl, to hear her speak insanely.
We know her answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living Vulcan being
Ever yet was blessed with such a passing logic poor -
As to play a tap-tap-tapping game on Tucker’s quarters’ door.
…And with name like ‘Nevermore!?’

But the Vulcan, sitting bon’ly, lo non-plussed, spake thus only
That one word; as if her soul, in that one word, she did outpour.
Nothing further then she uttered - lips quite mute, shoulders shuddered -
Till Trip scarcely more than muttered ‘Other times she’s flown before -
‘On the morrow will she leave me, as she’s always flown before?’
T’Pol replied? ‘Nevermore.’

Startled by the madness spoken, at canon so craptly broken,
Doubtless what she’d been obliged to spout would make Jo Blalock roar:
Controlled by dumb unhappy masters (whose sheer scriptial disasters
Followed fast and followed faster till our show one burden bore -
*the_abomination*: the “finale”: that plotless, dickless, scriptless whore….)
No! Never! Nevermore!

Be-fore Vulcan most beguiling, and tangental thoughts unpiling,
Straight Trip took a cushioned seat before the bust upon his floor;
Then, him on the velvet sinking, he betook hisself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this prim, humanely-haunted, busty bird of yore
Meant in repeating ‘Nevermore’.

This he sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the Vulcan whose fiery eyes now burned into his bosom's core;
This and more he sat divining, (sadly, Nielsen rates declining)
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er.
Seeing she whose violent-pining whitespace-daydream floated o’er:
Did he confess? Ah, nevermore!

Tho’ he thought that he could sense her thoughts becoming slightly tenser:
Wrung by Trellium foot-falls that left her brain and heart at war.
‘Wretch!’ he cried, ‘Your god hath lent thee - by his devils he has sent thee!
‘Respite - respite and nepenthe from my memories of amour!
‘Softly, cru’lly round you’ve bent me; finally I’ll take no more!’
Quoth the Vulcan: ‘Nevermore.’

‘Stop it!’ Trip said, ‘thing medieval! - stop it will you soul bedevil! -
‘Whether temptress-bent, or whether tempest-sent you found my quarters door,
‘Desolate I have been haunted, since in desert-land you wanted,
‘At your Home - explorer taunted - I watched you marry Koss the Bore!
‘Is there - is there chance for me? - tell me - tell me, I implore!’
But quoth the Vulcan: ‘Nevermore.’

‘Stop it!’ yelled he, ‘thing of evil! - alien Vulcan devil!
‘By the warp field that curves 'round us - by this ship we both adore -
‘Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within your distant maiden
‘Heart I’ll find a harvest laden with more than just esprit du corps!
‘Clasp you dare a fractious human, him with whom you have rapport?’
Quoth the Vulcan, ‘Nevermore.’

‘Be that word our sign of parting, girly-green!’ Trip shrieked, upstarting -
‘Get on out! I‘ve tried my best! Egress thro’ tritanium door!
‘Leave black doom as a token of my heart your word hath broken!
‘What about our pact unspoken: ‘no more neur-o-pres-shore’?!
‘Take thy shek from out my heart, and quit the mat upon my floor!’
Quoth the Vulcan: ‘Nevermore.’

And the Vulcan, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
Just as pallid, just as callous, just inside his quarters door;
And her eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er her streaming throws her shadow on the floor;
And his soul from out her shadow that lies blackly on the floor
Shall be lifted nevermore!
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"Let's be honest with ourselves: there's nothing easy about the life we've chosen. But we don't do it because it's easy, dammit!
We do it because the tits are big and the bat'leths are sharp and the ships are fast!"

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evcake
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Re: Post a Scene

Postby evcake » Wed Oct 17, 2007 7:15 pm

:guffaw: :guffaw: :guffaw:
Image
It's flavored with passionfruit
an appropriate ingredient, don't you think?


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Asso
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Re: Post a Scene

Postby Asso » Wed Oct 17, 2007 7:31 pm

evcake wrote::guffaw: :guffaw: :guffaw:


:lol: :badgrin: :lol: :lol:
Well yes. I continue to write. And on Fanfiction.Net, for those who want, it is possible to cast a glance at my latest efforts. We arrived to
The Ears of the Elves, chapter Forty-four


And here is the beginning of the whole story.
Image

But, I must say, you could also find something else on Fanfiction.net written by me. If you want.

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justTripn
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Re: Post a Scene

Postby justTripn » Thu Oct 18, 2007 1:13 pm

Too funny! You are a genius. :lol:
I'm donating my body to science fiction.

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Linda
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Re: Post a Scene

Postby Linda » Thu Oct 18, 2007 1:53 pm

Enterprikayak-T'Poe, writing, writing, writing, words that soar,
Evermore!

8)
Working on a major fan fic project. Two-thirds done. Hope to put it up in the not TOO distant future.

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enterprikayak
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Re: Post a Scene

Postby enterprikayak » Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:06 pm

Awww, thanks Linda! (course, now I feel like I gotta go keep editing my Neverending Story instead of making Trekart). :lol: Here's a bit of both:

Image
Image
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"Let's be honest with ourselves: there's nothing easy about the life we've chosen. But we don't do it because it's easy, dammit!
We do it because the tits are big and the bat'leths are sharp and the ships are fast!"

Dinah
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Re: Post a Scene

Postby Dinah » Fri Oct 19, 2007 1:01 am

My Halloween is now complete. :lol: I think you should probably change the title from "The Raven" to "The Ravin'." T'Pol always seems to have that effect on Trip. Enterprikayak, your version of Poe is masterful.

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Asso
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Re: Post a Scene

Postby Asso » Fri Oct 19, 2007 10:24 am

enterprikayak wrote:Awww, thanks Linda! (course, now I feel like I gotta go keep editing my Neverending Story instead of making Trekart). :lol: Here's a bit of both:

Image



OH MY GOD! :shock:
Well yes. I continue to write. And on Fanfiction.Net, for those who want, it is possible to cast a glance at my latest efforts. We arrived to
The Ears of the Elves, chapter Forty-four


And here is the beginning of the whole story.
Image

But, I must say, you could also find something else on Fanfiction.net written by me. If you want.

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Asso
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Re: Post a Scene

Postby Asso » Fri Oct 19, 2007 10:26 am

Dinah wrote:My Halloween is now complete. :lol: I think you should probably change the title from "The Raven" to "The Ravin'." T'Pol always seems to have that effect on Trip. Enterprikayak, your version of Poe is masterful.



Good, good, good! :D
Well yes. I continue to write. And on Fanfiction.Net, for those who want, it is possible to cast a glance at my latest efforts. We arrived to
The Ears of the Elves, chapter Forty-four


And here is the beginning of the whole story.
Image

But, I must say, you could also find something else on Fanfiction.net written by me. If you want.

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enterprikayak
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Re: Post a Scene

Postby enterprikayak » Fri Oct 19, 2007 3:37 pm

Thanks guys!

I wrote it last year cause I came up with that "imitation/flattery" challenege and then never submitted anything (unlike Distracted who submitted EVERYthing :lol:)

but only once I was deep into it, did I realise what a chore it was to rhyme shit with Lenore. Took a long time. :P However, such is our dedication to Trek.
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|||||||||enterpriseScrybe & enterpriseScrybe2 TrekVids||||||||| www.trekref.info|||||||||www.TriaxTpolitan.com|||||||||
"Let's be honest with ourselves: there's nothing easy about the life we've chosen. But we don't do it because it's easy, dammit!
We do it because the tits are big and the bat'leths are sharp and the ships are fast!"


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