Help :( urgent need an alibi

[TPoptarts]

No I didn't commit any crime and I'm not planning to. But my parents wanna come visit me really soon and it's really like the worst timing ever right now, and I asked them to postpone their trip to like next summer or something but of course they just gotta have everything their way and they wouldn't take no for an answer as if I don't even matter. (Duuuuhhh ) And it's just really REALLY important that they don't come here this summer. And I can't even tell them why because that would make things even worse.

So my question is would any of you agree to be my alibi so I could like tell my parents I'm gonna visit you this summer and then they gotta cancel their plans because I have my own plans? I'm gonna do all the lying no one's gonna have to like cover for me or anything. Well actually the only part in it for a willing volunteer is to be okay with having their name and general location dropped as part of a lie to my parents. (My parents know I don't have any friends outside the internet and like I guess I could make up an imaginary internet friend but I don't really wanna have to because it would make me feel even more pathetic )

Um I know it's unusual so it's okay if no one wanna volunteer. But if anyone agrees I need a willing volunteer in the continental US. Preferably a chick because if I told them I was gonna visit a guy friend they'd get really wrong ideas. Like when I told my mother about that creepy stalker guy Helmet Head who used to live here he was like totally obsessed with me and wouldn't give me a break and like once he even invited himself into my bed like half naked and started to talk about his penis and I hated him (still do ), and I was telling my mother on the phone in a very hateful voice how much I hated that guy etc etc etc, and my mother got all excited that her freak daughter is FINALLY in a relationship like a remotely normal person and encouraged me to keep this miraculous relationship because it's unlikely enough that a freak like me actually FOUND someone, I really gotta keep that guy because it's not like a freak like me could ever do better than a creepy stalker and that's like my only chance at anything close to normality. She literally literally started to make wedding plans.

Uhhh sorry anyway. If anyone wanna volunteer I'd be really grateful.

[JadziaKathryn]

And it's just really REALLY important that they don't come here this summer. And I can't even tell them why because that would make things even worse.

Boy, it sure sounds like you and your parents have a dysfunctional relationship. And yet, it sounds promising that they want to visit you. Would it really be so bad? They might make sure you got some decent meals anyway...

Not like I'm any help on the alibi front in any case.

[justTripn]

OK, sure.

But, here's a better plan: actually GO to the Dallas Fedcon convention with donations and have a REAL excuse.

[Distracted]

Well, you already know my opinion of the idea. All I'll say here is that I agree with JzK, for many reasons.

[blacknblue]

You can pick friends, but family you are stuck with. You have to come to terms with them one way or the other eventually. Might as well bite the bullet, don't you think? Maybe you should give them the benefit of the doubt? I am a parent, and I can tell you that I have made mistakes myself. But I never once came anywhere close to not loving my kids. No matter what, they always had my love and loyalty and always will have. Even when they might not have been willing to acknowledge it.

[TPoptarts]

OK, sure.

But, here's a better plan: actually GO to the Dallas Fedcon convention with donations and have a REAL excuse.

Thanks JT I can't go to the Fedcon though I wish I could. But I can't really go anywhere right now. And I'm like way too fat for a T'Pol costume anyway. And besides even if I could afford going and could somehow fit in a T'Pol costume I wouldn't be able to go anyway [SORRY GORY DETAILS AHEAD] because the con weekend just happens to fall on really EVIL cramps. And nothing ever helps my cramps painkillers have no effect on my body, the only thing I can do is sleep if I can but sometimes I can't even sleep because it's so bad and the only thing that helps is a warm bath. And it's just like totally pointless to go all the way to Texas to sit and bleed in a tub. I can do that here well unless of course my period actually decides to show up ON TIME and then I'll be cramping the whole 2-day bus ride there. See just not a good idea. Now if my stupid period just showed up on time in the past few months instead of being late all the time that would be a different story. Gah see even my bodily functions (dysfunctions ) work against me.

Okay sorry end of female rant.

Boy, it sure sounds like you and your parents have a dysfunctional relationship. And yet, it sounds promising that they want to visit you. Would it really be so bad? They might make sure you got some decent meals anyway...

It might SOUND promising to people who don't know them. It's not the case. They don't wanna visit me bacause they care. They wanna visit because they're control freaks and it doesn't sit well with them that I'm out of there. And also because they wanna preserve the illusion of a "family" they've got in their minds as if DNA automatically makes us "family". Sorry I really don't wanna get into it. And their visit WOULD be so bad because I may very well end up homeless because of it. So no I don't want them here. It's not a good timing. At all.

You can pick friends, but family you are stuck with. You have to come to terms with them one way or the other eventually. Might as well bite the bullet, don't you think? Maybe you should give them the benefit of the doubt? I am a parent, and I can tell you that I have made mistakes myself. But I never once came anywhere close to not loving my kids. No matter what, they always had my love and loyalty and always will have. Even when they might not have been willing to acknowledge it.

Again. No I don't think I should bite the bullet. And they are NOT family. I have no family. And like I don't expect a parent to be perfect because no one is. But they don't love me. Like I know all of y'all see it either from the loving parent POV, or from the loved child POV, or both, but it just doesn't always work like what you might imagine a "family" relationship is supposed to work like in your wishful thinking. I know them better and it's just not like that. Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me.

[JadziaKathryn]

And their visit WOULD be so bad because I may very well end up homeless because of it.

Well, there's a point.

On wishful thinking and all - perhaps you assume too much, that we all have parents who love us. I, myself, have heard nothing from my father, except three sentences about insurance, since I invited him to my college graduation. Go figure. I am painfully aware that sometimes a relationship with parents can't work, particularly if said parent(s) have a skewed view of reality. But I am also an optimist who holds out hope, you see. For the world at large, if not my own father. So my thought was automatically, your parents want to see you. That's good!

[Alelou]

If your parents are that toxic to you -- and some parents truly are -- then you have every right as an adult to tell them you don't want to see them. And you don't need an alibi. If you genuinely feel they're literally going to make you homeless, then do what you have to do to protect yourself. Make something up if that's what it takes. Take responsibility for your own well-being.

[TPoptarts]

^ Ah but you see, I DID tell them I didn't want them to come here at least this summer because it really is a bad timing. They just never listen to me and they gotta have everything their way and what I want doesn't matter to them in the least. That's what the alibi is for. They wouldn't have a reason to come visit if they thought I were like in Pittsburgh.

[Alelou]

Nothing is ever simple for you, is it? It must be so exhausting.

[TPoptarts]

You have no idea.

[Alelou]

I'll just say this once again and then let it go: Therapy.

[TPoptarts]

^

Okay. Message sent. And now, off to hide in a bomb shelter.

[TPoptarts]

Hmmm no reply yet. I hope that means they're too busy freaking out and cancelling their trip.