Rigil's New Endeavour thread...

[Reanok]

I liked Trip trying to talk to Archer about Erika. And I agree T'Pol doesn't want her own command. Also Archer's having to shove his hatred for the Romulans and the Xindi threat as well and what happens in Grendel. The hevy loss of Ships to the Romulans reminds me of Ds9 and the Dominion war and the heavy toll it took on Starfleet and low morale is very real in your last ending chapter.

[blacknblue]

That is a serious issue that Starfleet is going to need to address. After a long series of major ass whuppings, the Humans are going to need a significant victory pretty soon. Otherwise things are going to get nasty.

[krn]

I know T'Pol doesn't want her own command, and Trip doesn't want her to leave -- but as Trip realized in A5S4, and Archer mentioned perviously, Starfleet may want her to have a command since they need experienced officers. And how many times have characters gotten what they want in Rigils fics?

I just see Trip being all noble and letting her go... the needs of the many and all that. But, since they're seperated, everything goes to hell in a handbasket - and they end up back together. Knowing Rigil, T'Pol's ship/crew will get all fraked up which will only cause her to second guess herself EVEN MORE. ... I just realized that I'm spirlling down the well of bloody misanthropy ... quick, go read something fluffy. Good thing I've got 'Court n Spark' bookmarked!


rigil didn't shoot down my Hoshi with kung-fu grip -

[Rigil Kent]

That is a serious issue that Starfleet is going to need to address. After a long series of major ass whuppings, the Humans are going to need a significant victory pretty soon. Otherwise things are going to get nasty.

Darkest before dawn, and all that...right?

I know T'Pol doesn't want her own command, and Trip doesn't want her to leave -- but as Trip realized in A5S4, and Archer mentioned perviously, Starfleet may want her to have a command since they need experienced officers.

Ah, but now Archer is the Vice Chief of Naval Operations. (envisions Mitchell's brain melting down) He's basically the second-in-command at Starfleet Command (having been sort of promoted past a couple of flag officers who, surprisingly, have made absolutely no complaint about it...)

I just see Trip being all noble and letting her go... the needs of the many and all that. But, since they're seperated, everything goes to hell in a handbasket - and they end up back together. Knowing Rigil, T'Pol's ship/crew will get all fraked up which will only cause her to second guess herself EVEN MORE.

Neat! I may have to do that in a future fic!

rigil didn't shoot down my Hoshi with kung-fu grip -

Well, since Observer Effect turned her into Ninja!Hoshi, I couldn't really argue the point.

ETA: Hey. blackn'blue, I added a link to PDFs for all of the fics but Acheron on the first page of each fic. It's on the right, under the navigation panel.

[krn]

Neat! I may have to do that in a future fic!

aw crap! shutting up now

[Rigil Kent]

On the contrary...

As I promised way back when (I think it's on page 3 or so of this thread), below is the "outline" that I worked off of for Acheron. I'm consistently amazed that some of the people here are able to just start writing without having the fic already planned out, and this outline probably shows how anal I am in that regard. Before I even write a single word of a fic, I have to plan it out like this...

STAR TREK: Endeavour: "Acheron"

TEASER
D'deridex POV.

• Given an important task by ADM Valdore.
• Surprise reveal: Valdore knows SFC access codes!
• Sub-Commander D'deridex begins to make data transmission...

ACT ONE
Tucker POV.

• Almost immediately after final T'Pol scene of Pandora.
• Continue above transmission in a massive “conference call” among the fleet commanders and ship commanders. Decision is made to continue operation. Commanding officers informed to disseminate information to rest of crew (beyond department heads) and to initiate communications blackout. No comm traffic allowed except to and from fleet commander.
• Third and Fourth Fleet are also being deployed in an attempt to fool the Romulans into believing that they are going to be making an assault to retake the Thor's Cradle.
• Despite the early hour, Trip & Jon go to work.
• More interaction with department heads? Reveal that Hsiao is still aboard the UES Hyperion and is trying to help them diagnose a problem.

Cross POV.
This entire scene was discarded because it disrupted the flow of the story. I still have what I wrote and may recycle elements of it at some later date. The Archer scene that replaced it was surprisingly easy for me, and was basically made up as I wrote. I think the one line that made that particular scene work was "She's got you drinking tea now?"

• Interaction with CDRE Burnside Clapp and CPT Hernandez at the beginning.
• Settling in as the acting-captain of a Neptune-class light cruiser (UES Triton). Previous captain (CDR Johnson) relieved of duty when routined medical examination revealed malignant cancer in chest.
• Interact with his crewmembers and realizes how much he prefers the Columbia to this rust-bucket. His dismay at being given command of this hunk of junk is further compounded by the fact that the command staff don't want him here either.
• Use this as a way to get a look at a Neptune-class.
• Red herring: readers will likely think that he and his crew are going to perish when that isn't the case at all.

Hsiao POV.

• Daedalus-class ship in 6th Fleet (UES Hyperion) is experiencing some trouble and Dan is part of the team aboard to figure it out. He's been aboard this ship since yesterday and hasn't slept; why him? He was part of the team that designed these new piloting upgrades (during Icarus Project) and is the only one really familiar with them.
• Doesn't like the CO of Hyperion (Commander Rivers), but thinks the XO (Lieutenant Commander Rodriguez, background in Flight Operations) is hot. (He doesn't think of Devereux once during this scene.)
• Impressed with the ship overall, but thinks it's butt ugly. Has words with the XO to this point and she vociferously disagrees.
• By 0915, they've finally fixed the problem...

T'Pol POV.

• CDRE Archer decides that they can't take the time to get Hsiao back. The lieutenant is temporarily assigned to Hyperion.
• Scene idea: Archer is on the bridge of Endeavour and is clearly chomping at the bit to do a little flying himself (although he doesn't want to come out and say it). Recognizing this, Trip asks him if he wants to take the helm to see what his baby can do. Archer does, and Trip gives him a “Don't scratch the paint, Mister Archer.” joke.
• End scene (and act) with Endeavour (and thus, both fleets) going to warp speed.

ACT TWO
Hernandez POV.

• Columbia arrives in-system and begins to engage Romulan forces.
• It's been a long 20 days.
• Erika doesn't feel comfortable without Cross manning the tactical board (he's been her TAC since Columbia launched).
• CDRE Burnside Clapp issues instructions and there is much lethal carnage and destruction.
• Erika's spidey sense starts tingling, though, when they face only drones. They need to find the control ship that is flying the drones!

Archer POV.

• Still in warp (having timed it so 6th Fleet will arrive slightly later than 2nd and 5th Fleets), Endeavour hums with untapped aggression.
• Jon and his combat control team (1 lieutenants for each ship in the fleet ... so 10 lieutenants) listen in to the comm chatter as the other two fleets engage the Romulans. So far, everything is proceeding according to plan.
• Trip comms him and informs him that they're about to arrive, so Jon has the LT's make sure they have communications with their ships.
• Holo-table present?
• Endeavour and Sixth Fleet arrive and open up a can of whoop ass.

D'deridex POV.

• Observing the ongoing engagement from a concealed location, D'deridex is momentarily awed at Valdore's masterful plan. Everything is proceeding according to his design...
• Reveal that Rihannsu were forced to accelerate their plan to retake Vulcan when the thermobaric clouds (or whatever it was – the Expanse) that provided them with a buffer zone mysteriously disappeared. The Senate reacted in fear, hence their aggressive attacks.
• Commander Chulak is chomping at the bit to attack now and Valdore considers sending the man to the Xin'di to negotiate acquisition of the functional transmat device; so far, Rihannsu scientists have been unable to reverse-engineer the piece of technology and the lizards have been proving to be obtuse.
• Valdore orders them to go to Stage 2.

Tucker POV.

• Endeavour opens up a can of whoop ass. Big booms.
• Reveal that T'Pol showed up in Trip's cabin last night and made it a night to remember since there was a good chance that they wouldn't survive today.
• T'Pol identifies target and weapons are oriented. Devereux relays instructions from Fleet CDR. Eisler blows shit up (use HTH's ideas about rapidity of shots). Newbie pilots.
• T'Pol recognizes that this is a trap: the drydock isn't operational and doesn't look like it ever could be operational. She's also detecting some curious transmissions from various locations throughout the system.
• Suddenly, the drydock self-destructs in a horrific explosion that savages Sixth Fleet, crippling one of the Neptunes and destroying another!
• Sensors are suddenly scrambled fleetwide, forcing them to go to visual scanning! (Romulans don't have frequency of sensors but are blanketing system with equivalent of white noise.)
• And even worse, Romulan birds of prey and warbirds streak out of warp and open fire! Drones are launched (ala fighters) from the warbirds...and Endeavour is blind...

ACT THREE
Ebadi POV.
This entire scene was discarded because I simply could not get it to work. I don't even have anything left of the original scene. The Mayweather scene that later replaced it was one that I made up as I went ... which probably explains why it was like pulling teeth.

• UES Atlantis is pounded by the sudden and unexpected counter-attack.
• Romulans seem to specifically target the Enterprise-class ships, clearly recognizing them as the command and control ships.
• Reflection into Amy Ebadi: she never wanted to command, as her heart was always in astrophysics. Unfortunately, Starfleet recognized her ability to lead at an early date, and she was groomed to become a first rate leader.
• CPT Ebadi does her best, but Atlantis is crippled, and then destroyed.

T'Pol POV.

• Finally penetrates sensor jamming (mostly).
• Is the first person to recognize that the Romulans are specifically targetting the command ships.
• Further identifies the Romulan command ship.
• More butt kicking.
• Reveal that the Romulans are also targeting the bridges of Starfleet ships.
• Damage to Endeavour (hairline breach on bridge) forces bridge crew to abandon command deck and make tracks for auxiliary command (D-Deck). Is where Engineering used to be? Helmsman (ENS Jefferson) is injured by debris – Trip tells COB to get him to sickbay.

Hess POV.

• Damage control.
• Sees Ensign Rostova do something heroic/stupid.

Hernandez POV.

• Heavy damage, fire on all decks. Weapons out.
• She orders all personnel to lifeboats before ordering ramming speed.
• Columbia slams into the Romulan command ship.
• Last lines are something like “I'm sorry, Jon.”

ACT FOUR
Archer POV.

• Realizes that Erika is likely dead. Shock and despair struggle for dominance until the after-effects of having been touched by Surak step in. He suppresses his emotions with Vulcan-like control.
• Forced to push his grief aside and lead. Heavy damage to all three fleets – this is clearly a clusterfuck in the making as Starfleet ships are heavily outnumbered and outgunned. They've already lost two Enterprise-class ships as well as six or seven Neptunes and four Daedalus-classes.
• Tries to order all Starfleet ships to begin retreating from system but system failures (due to damage) causes the comm systems to fail.
• Jon steps out of the combat control room to discover Trip, T'Pol & Eisler racing toward Auxiliary Command. Archer follows and is tasked as NAV. Trip takes over at DCO board.

D'deridex POV.

• ADM Valdore badly, badly injured, S-CDR D'deridex pulls him out of the fire.
• Action sequence resulting from damage wrought by Columbia

Hsiao POV.

• Both CO & XO are killed (on bridge), so Dan assumes command on the “battle bridge” of Hyperion.
• Cue DD Kim scene from opening sequence. He channels both CPT Tucker and CDR T'Pol by suppressing his emotions and making hard decisions (ordering the sealing off of damaged sections, even though it will mean the people in those sections are likely to die, ordering a “vent to vacuum” to put out a fire, etc.).
• Hyperion returns to the fight, wounded but kicking, and is integral to punching a hole through the Romulan line so the shattered remnants of Sixth Fleet can make an escape.

Tucker POV.

• Staggered at sheer destruction before them, but is functional.
• Gratified to discover that Endeavour's casualties are relatively light, and the damage she took moderate.
• Recognizes that Hyperion's actions were directly responsible for them being able to get clear; the Daedalus-class took a horrific pounding but still managed to stay in the fight.
• This particular action item was added later when I had the idea and was NOT part of the original outlineHorizon heavily damaged, on the brink of suffering a core breach. Trip orders them to stand by to eject the core, then has Archer match trajectory. Eisler locks on with both the grapplers and tractors, and Horizon ejects core just as Endeavour (and, by default, Horizon) go to warp.
• End scene with Endeavour (and remnants of Sixth Fleet) jumping to warp.

ACT FIVE
T'Pol POV.

• At warp speed.
• This particular action item was added later when I add the idea of the Horizon getting towed, and was thus not part of the original outline.Slowed from warp a light year or so from Zeta Reticuli (once assured that Rommies weren't pursuing) and transported crew of Horizon to Endeavour (since there's no warp core and thus, no power generation.)
• Damage control ongoing – Archer and Trip pitching in to finish repairs; clearly this is Archer's way of coping.
• Has learned that LT Hsiao is acting commander of Hyperion and was responsible for their escape.
• Worried about CDRE Archer as he hasn't displayed a hint of remorse or grief over the death of CPT Hernandez. In fact, Archer has dealt with her death much better than T'Pol dealt with the death of either her mother or her daughter.
• Consults Phlox regarding Archer.

D'deridex POV.
This entire scene was completely rewritten after I decided that Valdore was to die. Originally, he was going to survive this battle and promote D'deridex, but I thought it was more dramatically appropriate for Valdore to die ...

• Aftermath of the battle.
• Valdore is mortally wounded but survives for a short span of time thanks to D'deridex's heroism, and the ADM promotes the young man to CDR in gratitude.
• Briefly cognizant, the ADM points out that this was not a failure: they have destroyed many Terran ships, including two of the command ships, and more importantly, they have confirmation that their operative on Terra is well placed. This is the first that D'deridex has heard of an operative, and Valdore tells him to take control of the operative. Valdore dies of his wounds.
• D'deridex goes to Valdore's quarters to get this intel. Reflects that the "command" officers of the Fleet will now engage in a diplomatic war with Homeworld to determine who replaces Valdore as Operational Commander. The humans have, unknowingly, gained a temporary reprieve.
• Reveal Valdore's son died at Elysium in the opening salvos, and Valdore hates (or rather, hated) Archer for it.I'm thinking about still revealing this at some point in the narrative...
• End scene with D'deridex learning identity of the operative ... but the audience does not.

Casey POV.

• Learns of Opn:Pandora's failure. ADM Black retires in disgrace at the catastrophe that was his plan. Implication that Black is seriously considering suicide. The next line was added laterCasey kills Black, makes it appear that he suicided.
• ADM Gardner is infuriated and the President is terrified. A lot of good people have died, and apparently for nothing.
• Puts a round in Harrad-Sar's head, then orders the ex-MACOs to “sterilize” the area. Departs, making plans to eliminate these MACOs as well...This may or may not have been in the original outline. I can't quite recall
• Implication that Casey is the “operative” that Valdore referenced. He's working for someone other than Starfleet...

Tucker POV.

• Back on Earth, we learn that Archer has been promoted to RADM and has been named the Vice-CNO.
• Third Fleet has been dispatched to Alpha Centauri to provide protection should the Romulans make a move on that system, and Fourth Fleet has been sent to Tau Ceti (Starbase One) for the same reason.
• Endeavour's damage is, comparatively, neglible when compared to the damage taken by the other ships – the upgraded hull polarization units was well timed and are now being pumped out for the other ships in Starfleet.
• In recognition of his heroism, Dan Hsiao has been promoted to Lieutenant Commander.
• Reveal that some idiot in SFC has leaked the Xindi link to the media, so the general populace now believes that the Romulans were behind the initial attack on Earth (season 2 finale).
• POE hint.
• Trip visits Jon's office and Archer reveals that he had planned to propose to Erika, but hadn't found the time. Now, he'll never be able to.
• Final scene has Trip and Jon sharing bourbon. Rewatch The Xindi and shoot for that Archer/Tucker tone but in reverse.

[blacknblue]

How?

How can you POSSIBLY write that way? HOW?

I would be dead of old age before I finished the first page if I tried to write that way.


EDIT:

I got the five PDFs. Thanks

[Zane Gray]

Jesus, Rigil... that looks like something I'd write! I'm impressed. I do the exact same thing. I write insanely detailed treatments and story outlines for every story or script I write. Plot breakdowns scene by scene, character arc notes, the works.

By the way, you're really doing a helluva job on your stories. I've been keeping up on each new chapter. I loved the bit in the last one where Trip and T'Pol have been having conflicting memories because of the alterations in the timeline. That's just the kind of little, almost throw-away detail that adds so much texture and richness to a story.

You should eventually take each of your stories in this series and reformat them in paperback formatting, and save them as PDF books. Hell, you could even do a little desktop publishing thing and let people buy printed versions just for cost or something. I wouldn't mind having a printed version of this saga when it's complete.

[Rigil Kent]

Whew. I'm not the only one! (*does a happy dance ... sorta...*) I'm insanely retentive about this sort of thing ... on my hard drive, I've got documents for the master character list, ship names, a timeline for the war, etc.

In regards to the PDF thing, I have uploaded PDFs for all of the fics but Acheron (that comes later) on my site. I sincerely doubt I'd ever do something that involves having people pay me out of fear of the monolith that is Paramount or CBS or whoever it is...

How?

How can you POSSIBLY write that way? HOW?

I think the exact same thing when I hear that people just start writing and let the "story" dictate where they go. *shudders* I have to have a plan. And besides, it's not like I don't change things as I go ...

[Zane Gray]

Whew. I'm not the only one! (*does a happy dance ... sorta...*) I'm insanely retentive about this sort of thing ... on my hard drive, I've got documents for the master character list, ship names, a timeline for the war, etc.

Yep, you're definitely my kind of writer. When you're working on something as detailed and elaborately plotted as this, you really have to plan it out. You have to know where you're going with it, and how to get there. You can always roll with surprises that arise out of the actual writing and alter your plans accordingly, so this kind of planning doesn't take the spontaneity out of the work. But planning like this makes the stories so much more effective and satisifying in the end. I wish the series writers had done more of this on the actual show. I suspect Battlestar's writing team does exactly this kind of thing.

[Rigil Kent]

Well, my all time favorite sci-fi show remains Babylon 5 and I'm pretty sure that JMS was this anal too.

[Zane Gray]

Well, my all time favorite sci-fi show remains Babylon 5 and I'm pretty sure that JMS was this anal too.

Without a doubt.

[blacknblue]

Both of you need an Ex-Lax and a nap.

[Distracted]

[CX]

Yeah, he fit right in on the FND staff, though not all our outlines are this elaborate, and I think I did an episode with no outline once. Can't recall which one off hand though.