Christmas Filks

[JadziaKathryn]

I saw a few of these in Reader's Digest, and thought, 'I could do that.' Anyone else want to play?

"Winter Storms" (to the tune of "Jingle Bells")

A day or two ago
When I was in a rush
Wet snow covered the ground
With eight inches of slush
Just getting to my ride
I landed on my rear
Cold and wet I looked up and cried
"Oh why do I live here?"

Winter storms, winter storms
Making life so hard
Oh how miserable they are
When you have to drive your car

Upon reaching my car
A shovel in my hand
I started moving snow
Which covered all the land
I just wanted some food
It wasn't a big deal
And I had been in a good mood
Till digging out my wheels

Winter storms, winter storms
Making life so hard
Oh how miserable they are
When you have to drive your car

[justTripn]

I thought you'd never ask. Here's my Astronomy Club Christmas Carol, which I just finished for the December newsletter. It's an ode to our recently finished/optimized/computerized super duper 24" (of aperature) telescope at our Mingo Creek Park Observatory. Some of it is inside jokes, but I bet you'll get most of it. "HST" is the Hubble Space Telescope.

Another Holiday Poem
By Ann Norman


Hark the herald, Ed Moss sings:
The mount’s installed! Come try this thing!
Forty degrees latitude. Parameters filed.
Stars and software reconciled!
Joyful all astronomers, wise
Join the triumph of the skies
Mingo guests and hosts proclaim:
Wow this scope’s got perfect aim!
Hark! More public ! Now we sing:
Get in line, see Saturn’s ring.

Sights in highest heav'n adored
The Deer Lick group, Orion’s Sword
Late in time before we’re done.
M13 looks like the sun!
Hail the Hershels, NGCs!
Veiled in nebulosity
Pleased to find faint glows that dwell
In Andromeda’s arms. 33’s as well.
Twist the turret for a zoom.
Cold? We’ll view from the Members Room!

Hail the heavenward Prince of Photons
Hail the Son of HST!
Light and awe to all it brings
Slewing with tension in its springs
Mild it lays the cosmos by
Focused perfect for your eye
Made to thrill us here on Earth
With nova remnants and starbirth
Wander through the Milky Way
Just two more hours before it’s day.

Don't stand close to me. I might get struck by lightning.

[Dinah]

These are both very funny! Being from Indiana, I can especially relate to yours, JadziaKathryn. There's nothing like slush to make the holiday season a little brighter.