
There was one that I don't really remember, it had some kinda ski resort or something, and Cuddy and Foreman were in a rescue chopper. And there was also a talking cat. Can't forget a talking cat.

There was another one I actually remember quite well. So now I present
House and his minions
Star in
"Why is Chase on the floor??"
[Disclaimer: NOT intended to make any sense. Seriously]
House has a patient. Some chick around 30 with long brown hair. She has blood clots. But when they run tests they find out she's also pregnant. She develops a "thing" for Chase... who doesn't return the favor. Which really pisses her off. But poor Chase doesn't know that. So he makes lunch plans with Cameron. Then Chase goes to the restaurant and Cameron says she's gonna meet him there because she has to finish something.
Crazy Patient Lady leaves her hospital bed and follows Chase to the restaurant. Where she tells him how much she's in love with him and all that dren. And she tries to tell him Cameron isn't coming because she bailed on him. And Chase goes like "you're insane!!" and tells her to leave him alone, then he gets paged and gets up to leave and she hits him on the head and he passes out. Then she starts throwing stuff around and eventually runs away.
The reason he got paged was of course that the patient was missing. But then House sees her leaving Wilson's office, grabs her and drags her back to her room. She tries to put up a fight because she doesn't understand what the frell is going on but they sedate her. Then House goes back to Wilson's office to yell at Wilson for stealing his patient but Wilson isn't there, he's already gone for lunch at the same restaurant.
Wilson just arrives to the restaurant, everything's a big chaos someone called the cops, and the cops were questioning everyone etc. There's a lot of snow outside. And I was in the restaurant too for some reason. And Wilson sees me trying to drag poor unconscious Chase to the hospital because it's just across the street, he obviously recognizes Chase yells to me to try to figure out what the frell happened, then the cops grab him and start questioning him, they ask him to show an ID. And he goes like "I don't have an ID, but I have an EEG" then he pulls an EEG of himself and the cops go like "what's that??" and Wilson goes like "it's an EEG of my brain! It's better than an ID no 2 people in the world have the same EEG!" And the cops look at each other like


Anyway. I get to the hospital with the still unconscious Chase. Drag him to the patient's room where House is, she's still sedated. And there's another bed in the room. And I drag Chase in and go like "yours?" and House goes like "what's wrong with him" and I'm like "he got hit on the head. Help me lift him to the bed." And House goes like "I'm cripple". And I go like "he's unconscious". And he points to the floor where Chase is currently lying goes like "just leave him there". And I'm like



In the meantime the Crazy Stalker Pregnant Patient is like outside in the snow, and she gets a seizure and falls down, and the ambulance comes and takes her to the hospital but she loses the baby. And she's in the ICU.
Then Wilson barges in opens the door which hits poor Chase on the head again. Then he looks at Chase and goes like "WHY is Chase on the floor??" and House goes like "he got hit on the head" and Wilson's like "I know, I was there!" then he goes like "can you BELIEVE they didn't accept my EEG as proof of ID??" and House goes like "shocking

And they keep arguing yelling at each other, and Cuddy walks by sees them arguing and comes in opens the door which of course hits poor Chase on the head. Again. And she goes like "why is Chase on the floor??" and House goes like "to look up your skirt". Then Cuddy turns around and starts stomping away in pissed-offness, then Wilson goes like "he stole my patient!" Cuddy turns around goes back to House and yells at him "you stole his patient??" and House goes like "she's MY patient she's pregnant and she's got blood clots!!" and Wilson's like "she's never been pregnant and she's got brain cancer!!" then Cuddy stomps toward the patient in pissed-offness and looks under the hood. Then she's like "she's not pregnant". And Wilson has this triumphant smirk and House goes like "what are you saying I can't do my tests" then he looks under the hood too, then he comes out like

Cuddy leaves and Wilson starts yelling at House again, but house is too busy thinking, then Cameron comes barging in "has anyone seen--" then the door hits poor Chase on the head again. And she goes like "oh my GAWD!!" bends down and grabs his head and checks his pupils with the penlight "Chase? Chase??" and Chase goes like "mmmmnnnggmggggmmm" then Cameron stands up and goes like "WHY is Chase on the floor??" and House is about to say something clever but Wilson interrupts "he got hit on the head". And House adds "four times!" and Cameron looks at them like



Anyway Chase is no longer on the floor he's in the formerly empty bed next to Wilson's patient. Wilson and House are still arguing. Wilson looks at Chase's EEG compared to his patient's EEG goes like "see I told you it was a brilliant idea to use EEG instead of IDs". And House goes like "it's a DUMB idea". And Wilson's like "why, a lot of people look alike but there's no way in hell anyone would mistake their EEGs for each other!" And then House gets this "I solved the case" look and goes like "...yeah..." and limps away. Then he comes back with his patient's EEG (the psychotic formerly pregnant lady). And compares it to Wilson's patient's EEG. And concludes that they're 2 different patients. (DUH)
Then they find House's patient in the ICU. Turns out they're like identical twins separated at birth and adopted by 2 different families. And House's patient also has brain cancer. And then Wilson goes like "well don't you think the EEG is a brilliant idea NOW, it helped you solve the case" and House goes like "no I still think it's a dumb idea".
And then my cellphone battery woke me up because it's fritzing for some reason.


Um like I said it's not supposed to make any sense.



Whoa. I think my subconscious just wrote my first House fanfic.

