TnT's Bond - How does it work?

[WarpGirl]

I'm not talking about just saying words though. But You're right it can be done, she did it when she kissed him in Home. We just disagree on the timing.

[Kotik]

Declaring love and being in love are two different things though.

It only means they haven't told the one they are in love with, it doesn't mean they can't feel it and show it in other ways. You can express something you don't totally understand yet and sometimes we stay quiet because it's easier than actually saying the words outloud. Less scary. Less able to bring about hurt. It's not true but it's easy for some people to convince themselves of that.

That brings me to a specific scene in "The Aenar". T'Pol says that she appreciates Trips concern for her safety and that he's letting his feelings influence his work. What does he answer? He says he doesn't want Enterprise to loose a good officer and that his feelings are purely professional. That's the biggest lie since Ulbricht said "Nobody want's to erect a wall.", days before the Berlin wall was erected. It is a sick and contrived plot tool. If I was in his shoes, my reply would have been. "You're damn right darlin', I love ya and the last thing I want is your neurons to get fried to hell."

[WarpGirl]

Well men are proud unreasonable human beings. Frankly I thought she was really sweet during that one.

[Silverbullet]

Warpgirl, Back to Harbinger. They must as I have said had some sort of conversation, Even a one night stand has conversation. If nothing else but how was your day? So TnT probably did talk about their "feelings" for one another. They had to reveal at some level thier care for one another along with the passion of lovemaking. It is impossible for me to believe that they were silent all during their time in the Bunk making love and resting after.

I also think that hey continued to have a sexual realtionship after Harbinger. The look on Trip's face when he suggested they continue NP said that he meanted more than NP and her agreement echod him. they were being overheard after all. They might have arranged for this little charade in bed so that in the Mess Hall those who sat near them would just hear her rejection and his reaction to it and believe it was true. This would allow them to continue their intimate realationship with discretion and lessen the chance of others catching on that they were sharing a bed. Perhaps by e2 T-Pol was afraid of Trip wanting more than a Sexual relationship that is why she said that just because they had sexual relationship didn't mean they should have a close personal one. She may hhave wanted to keep it at a level she could control and a close personal relationship might have tested her control which she didn't want. That does not mean she was saying they should stop the sexual side of their relationship.

I am with others on this board that TnT were still having intinimate relations up to Home and resumed them around Bound

[WarpGirl]

I know.

[Dinah]

That brings me to a specific scene in "The Aenar". T'Pol says that she appreciates Trips concern for her safety and that he's letting his feelings influence his work. What does he answer? He says he doesn't want Enterprise to loose a good officer and that his feelings are purely professional. That's the biggest lie since Ulbricht said "Nobody want's to erect a wall.", days before the Berlin wall was erected. It is a sick and contrived plot tool. If I was in his shoes, my reply would have been. "You're damn right darlin', I love ya and the last thing I want is your neurons to get fried to hell."

I kinda wish he'd said that, too, Kotik. But he was still suffering from the effects of the radiation from the Vulcan drone ship and he was probably dead tired. At the beginning of the episode, he'd gone on a little fishing expedition to find if T'Pol really cared for him at all. Her response was not encouraging. Trip told Malcolm his relationship with T'Pol was over. I think he had to prove it to himself once and for all, which is why he was testing the waters with T'Pol. He's been hurt time and time again. I don't blame him for beginning a major building project: a great big wall to keep T'Pol out and preserve his sanity. She made it clear that she wasn't thinking about him, only business; he just returned the favor. Plus, unbeknownst to him, he's got the bond playing havoc with his brain and his emotions. No wonder he wanted to get the hell out of Dodge.

[WarpGirl]

You're right Dinah but it wasn't ALL T'Pol's fault either. Do you think that once people pass a certain age they just go back to being teens? My parents sure did. Maybe TnT did for a little while too.

[Kotik]

I kinda wish he'd said that, too, Kotik. But he was still suffering from the effects of the radiation from the Vulcan drone ship and he was probably dead tired. At the beginning of the episode, he'd gone on a little fishing expedition to find if T'Pol really cared for him at all. Her response was not encouraging. Trip told Malcolm his relationship with T'Pol was over. I think he had to prove it to himself once and for all, which is why he was testing the waters with T'Pol. He's been hurt time and time again. I don't blame him for beginning a major building project: a great big wall to keep T'Pol out and preserve his sanity. She made it clear that she wasn't thinking about him, only business; he just returned the favor. Plus, unbeknownst to him, he's got the bond playing havoc with his brain and his emotions. No wonder he wanted to get the hell out of Dodge.

Sorry to contradict you, dear. But the protrait of them during the whole romulan droneship and Klingon Augment arcs was just warped beyond recognition. The writers made them pointlessly hurt each other and it was way too obvious that they wanted to delay a real relationship (if they ever considered it even) until at least season 5 , which never materialized. All this contrived angst was just a major turn-off. Both their reactions were illogical and obviously contrived. Trip would never have reacted like that. If a human male loves someone, he's not saying 'oh you know, my feelings are purely professional'. It won't happen. Maybe I'm a freak of nature, but I could never lie about such matters

[Alelou]

What a terrifying way to live.

Ah, WarpGirl, a little negative capability never hurt anybody. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative_capability

Though I'm not at all sure that's what Asso was reaching for...

[Dinah]

Maybe it's because I'm not a guy, but I could see some man saying to himself: "If that's they way she wants it then I can dish it right back at her." I just don't think he'd declare his love for her at this point because he doesn't think he has anything to gain from it. She doesn't care for him so why should he go on hopelessly caring a torch for her. He's ready to move on. I thought that's what guys did in situations like this.

[WarpGirl]

You're not a freak of nature dear, you just see things differently. But I really don't think T'Pol or Trip was quite that horrible, just two imperfect people who made mistakes. I mean who isn't imperfect. But I think people over do the whole T'Pol was cruel angle. She hurt him yes but she wasn't cruel. Trip hurt her too and nobody calls him names, or says he was cruel.

[Alelou]

I kinda wish he'd said that, too, Kotik. But he was still suffering from the effects of the radiation from the Vulcan drone ship and he was probably dead tired. At the beginning of the episode, he'd gone on a little fishing expedition to find if T'Pol really cared for him at all. Her response was not encouraging. Trip told Malcolm his relationship with T'Pol was over. I think he had to prove it to himself once and for all, which is why he was testing the waters with T'Pol. He's been hurt time and time again. I don't blame him for beginning a major building project: a great big wall to keep T'Pol out and preserve his sanity. She made it clear that she wasn't thinking about him, only business; he just returned the favor. Plus, unbeknownst to him, he's got the bond playing havoc with his brain and his emotions. No wonder he wanted to get the hell out of Dodge.

Sorry to contradict you, dear. But the protrait of them during the whole romulan droneship and Klingon Augment arcs was just warped beyond recognition. The writers made them pointlessly hurt each other and it was way too obvious that they wanted to delay a real relationship (if they ever considered it even) until at least season 5 , which never materialized. All this contrived angst was just a major turn-off. Both their reactions were illogical and obviously contrived. Trip would never have reacted like that. If a human male loves someone, he's not saying 'oh you know, my feelings are purely professional'. It won't happen. Maybe I'm a freak of nature, but I could never lie about such matters

You're a freak of nature. Just kidding.

People in love who are hurting will lie to save face all the time. And the sad truth, WarpGirl, is that some of us never ever stop being teenagers, or at least regress to it pretty quickly when we're hurting.

I totally agree with Dinah's point of view on this one, but there you go. I'm quite sure the writers didn't think they were being contrived, and beyond that, that they hoped we would still sympathize with both characters even after all that bullshit.

I kind of wonder if we all did that Myers Briggs personality test, if there'd be one single component of it that accurately predicts how we perceive this issue, because it's such a wide, wide split.

[Kotik]

Maybe it's because I'm not a guy, but I could see some man saying to himself: "If that's they way she wants it then I can dish it right back at her." I just don't think he'd declare his love for her at this point because he doesn't think he has anything to gain from it. She doesn't care for him so why should he go on hopelessly caring a torch for her. He's ready to move on. I thought that's what guys did in situations like this.

Dishing it back is nothing but a primal form of revenge. I'm the sort of guy who says 'I love you' when it is the case and the feeling is eigther reciprocated or I'll get shot down in flames. On the other hand, it hasn't done me much good. the last time I ended up in the mental home Somehow this whole dancing around each other was painful, that's why I absolutely adore HopefullyRomantic's "Reconnecting" series and I can't cope with angst. Sign me up with the weak-squadron of human males

[WarpGirl]

YOU ARE NOT WEAK! And yes that time I was yelling.

[Escriba]

Oh, my dear Kotik, you're not weak. In fact, as I said before, you brought me back my faith in males (well, that's not actually true, almost all men in this board did, since I discovered they can be caring and articulate human beings )

I think what happens with men and Trip is that they see in him a personality type that they dread. In Spain is known as the "Pagafantas" (literally, "Fanta payer.") The pagafantas is a guy who has an incredible hot girl as "best friend" (her words, not his, obviously,) a girl that dates every bastard in the planet and when the aforementioned bastard breaks her heart, she comes back to the pagafantas to cry and cuddle beside him, because he's like her brother.

I think men see this nightmare in Trip and they just freak out