Warning, Rant ahead
What is this with German railways. A Giant corporation, yet they can turn the most calm of people into Hitler! What happened? #
Had to return to Bavaria today, so I set out in my car but the radio said that there's a Thunderstorm in Cologne - 30 miles traffic jam. Ok, me thinks, forget about the motorway, go by train.
So I arrive at the station, time passes, no train. Then there's this announcement that today the train leaves at platform 10 - ath the other bloody end of the mother

station. So about 300 people dash through a packed station and that nobody was trampled to death is a

miracle on its own. Train comes in and we squeeze our way in - its was PACKED. I mean sardine-tin-PACKED! With my right neighbors elbow in my ear and the left neighbors suitvase handle up my nostrils, I was waiting for the thing to get underway - nothing. After 20 minutes we were still at the bloody platform. Then another announcement:
"Ladies and gentlemen, due to thunderstorms at cologne, 3 trains were cancelled and we're trying to take on the stranded passengers. We ask you kindly to move together a bit more to make room for these passengers."
WHAT??
There's not enough oxygen in here for the passengers that are already in and they tried to shoehorn some 50 more in. I can tell the poor girl behind me had a B-Cup. She was squeezed so hard into me, I've got a double nipple imprint on my back
Temperature reached something like 40 °C and oxygen was about as rare as a well-spoken Tellarite when the whole shebang got moving. After 2 hours I was soaked in sweat and I was STINKING! Not that it would've upset anyone, I wasn't the only one where premature decomposition had started
Finally, after 2 hours in the rotten sauna from hell, we rolled into Aschaffenburg Central Station, but I couldn't get through to the doors, because the whole place was completely stuffed with failed sociology students. That's when my mood approached the "Invade Poland" stage:
"Listen folks, will we manage to make a path or do I have to hack my way through, dammit!"
Well, suddenly, there was space, could've walked off with a bloody elephant in tow. Surprizing what a good-natured word can achieve at times...
Grabbed the next Taxi, apologized to the chauffeur for smelling like last weeks lunch and went straight into the shower, once I had checked in to the hotel. Having cleaned myself of the worst decay scent. I made my way to the next petrol station to grab a few beers. Having to do it by foot (my car's in Düsseldorf obviously) I asked for a plastic bag, because they only have tins. No sixpacks, nothing, only tins. "Sorry, we have no more bags". After reciting a few expletives that would make a trucker blush, I ran outta there in the foulest mood I can ever remember.
Finally I just walked into a pub and the following exchange occured:
me: "evening. Are you selling beer for take away?"
waiter: "We've got Schlappeseppel." [local bavarian brew] *shows me the bottle*
me: "K, I take a crate of that"
He looked at me as if I had grown a second head, but I finally walked outta there with 24 bottles of local hops-tea. That's one of those days, you're better off not getting out of the bed at all...
