CX anime reviews

[CX]

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind
(1984 movie, 2005 dub)

This is the first of three Miyazaki films I’m reviewing, all of which I watched over the course of a weekend. Just as a warning, I’m going to point out that, yes, I know Miyazaki is basically a hippy, being very pro-environment and anti-military. Actually I find it somewhat amusing that he’s a pacifist considering how much violence there tends to be in many of his movies. In any case, this is your fair warning that if you’re looking for a positive review that might reinforce your view of this movie, or really any that Miyazaki has made, you aren’t going to find it here. That’s not to say that I’m going to be all negative, either, just that I definitely do not agree with most of what Miyazaki has to say with his movies. I will say, though, that I think his movies tend to be very pretty, and they do have some interesting plots, characters, and good action, even if I really don’t care for his heavy-handed environmentalism and pacifism.

With that out of the way, I’ll start my actual review of this particular movie. This is a post-apocalyptic move in which the earth has been devastated by warfare, which has burned most of the surface and killed most of the life on the planet. As if that wasn’t bad enough, giant fungus has started to grow and spread, along with giant bugs that would give the Mobile Infantry a run for its money. The bugs are really easy to piss off and the giant “ohm” bugs in particular, which are the size of a large house, will stampede and destroy everything in their path if anything disturbs what has come to be known as the toxic jungle, mostly because all the spores in the air are deadly to breathe. This is actually part of how the toxic jungle spreads, as the ohm literally go until they drop dead, and then fungus starts to grow out of them on the newly devastated landscape they’ve created. Of course, the spores that the fungus creates spread pretty easily on their own, so it’s safe to say that humanity is basically fighting a losing battle, as the opening of the movie makes obvious. There are only a few small areas still habitable to humans, and these are becoming overrun by fungus, or by the military actions of other “nations” that still exist.

Unfortunately, there’s no Johnny Rico to help save the day. Instead, we follow the peace-loving protagonist Nausicaä, princess of the Valley of the Wind, as she figures out a way to save everything without using any weapons, apparently having figured out how to communicate with the giant bugs. We first see her as she explores the wonders of Pandora –I mean the toxic jungle. I will say that it’s nice to see a strong female protagonist who isn’t bloody useless, but the downside is that she’s basically the mouthpiece of Miyazaki. As a result, she tends to spout off a lot of crap science, and I have to admit that this irritated me almost as much as the “humans are evil and a threat to the planet” message, but then I have a background in engineering and science, so I actually know that ceramic, while extremely hard and heat resistant, is also very brittle, and that the soil from very deep underground tends to be sandy and/or made up of clay depending on where you are in the world, and is not suited to grown anything.

She also seems to be making a statement against wearing underwear.



Okay, okay, it’s probably just an issue with the coloring and she’s actually wearing pants, but still…

Anyway, the main plot of the series revolves around the militaristic Kingdom of Tolmekia and what big assholes they are. We get our first introduction to them as one of their impossibly huge airplanes crashes in the peaceful, monarchy ruled Valley of the Wind. It seems they stole the embryo of a “Giant Warrior”, which is a genetically engineered weapon that’s responsible for the destruction of the world. The Pejite are the ones who actually found and dug it up the thing, but the Tolmekians wanted it for themselves, and kidnapped the Pejite princess as a hostage after stealing it. Both kingdoms wanted to use the Giant Warrior to burn up the toxic rainforest, but naturally the story is stacked completely against this idea, mostly in the form of a stampede of giant bugs, but also in the whining of Nausicaä as she tries to explain the convoluted “evolution” of the toxic jungle and its creatures.

Apparently, the giant, deadly fungus functions to filter the soil, which makes zero sense since it’s, you know, fungus. And the giant bugs? Why to protect the giant fungus, of course. And we’re just supposed to accept that humans are going to die as a result, because humans are seen as a threat by the planet. And this is why I tend to not like Miyazaki films.

If that wasn’t absurd enough, though, apparently the world was destroyed by a bunch of fire-breathing giants. This is where the movie delves into the pacifist message, which itself is frankly completely illogical, even with the story stacked in its favor. Mostly this is because it preaches a peaceful solution in the face of an aggressive force bent on genocide and destruction, and chides the natural, sane response of wanting to fight for survival. This applies to both the Tolmekians and the toxic jungle, by the way. Of course the movie finds a way to actually resolve the immediate situation of a giant herd of ohm bearing down on the Valley of the Wind, and the occupying Tolmekian force by having Nausicaa sacrifice herself to them, which somehow shocks them into stopping. Since, as a young girl, Nausicaa fought to preserve on of their kind, and did it again even as they stampeded toward her home bent on destruction, the ohm are then nice enough to bring her back to life, making it not really a sacrifice at all. And they all lived happily ever after. Except that the toxic jungle is still slowly devouring the rest of the planet and killing more and more villages as it does, but hey, the giant bugs are alright and the Tolmekians decided to go home, so I guess we’re supposed to forget about that part.

As you can tell, I wasn’t really a big fan of this movie. It had very heavy-handed environmental and pacifist messages, and frankly the protagonist could get on my nerves at times, not only because of the stuff she’d say, but also because of how she was basically perfect, practically a Mary Stu, really. Personally, I actually liked Master Yupa, a Gandalf-like wanderer who was pragmatic and skilled in both diplomacy and combat – the perfect character to be voiced by Captain Picard himself. And as an added bonus, he didn’t talk down to the audience or spout any bullshit.

As for what I liked about this movie, well, occasionally post-apocalyptic stories can be interesting. The show how people deal with the end of the world as we know it, and as long as they aren’t completely stupid, it can be interesting to see that. This movie, and really a few of Miyazaki’s works, also tend to have a rather fanciful tone to them when they aren’t busy being preachy, with some good comedy relief moments, and character development, even if they can be a bit slow-paced at times. I’ll also admit to just liking how things look, too, as Miyazaki movies tend to be very beautifully animated, and I also kind of like the different examples of steampunk in them. Yeah, most of the giant flying machines and the like are impossible, but they are still cool to look at.

I’m sure some of you might be surprised to read after all of this that I think this is actually one of the better Miyazaki movies I’ve seen so far. Unfortunately, the heavy-handed messages really dragged it down for me. However, if you happen to agree with that stuff yourself, especially if you like the movie Avatar, which seems to think this movie wasn’t heavy-handed enough, you’ll probably like this movie. If you aren’t into those kinds of messages, it’s still somewhat watchable, but be warned that this movie is pretty preachy. 7/10.

[CX]

Princess Mononoke
(1997 movie)

Yet another offering my Miyazaki, this movie takes place in a mythical ancient Japan, which is not long into the iron age, and which still has to deal with actual spirits which exist in the vast forests which cover most of the land. Like every Miyazaki film, there are heavy-handed environmental and pacifist messages, but fortunately these are balanced out by an intriguing story filled with characters that have some actual depth to them, including the people who are theoretically supposed to be the bad guys.

While there is a strong female character in this movie, named San, the protagonist is actually Ashitaka, a young member of an isolated, traditionalist village that sits on the edge of the forest, which we're informed is supposed to be off limits to humans. Ashitaka is sent on a journey into this forest following an attack on his village by a forest spirit in the form of a giant boar that's been covered by black worms. While Ashitaka is successful in defeating this possessed boar and protecting his village, he is wounded by the black worms, which leave a mark on his arm that will spread to cover more and more of his body throughout the movie. He's informed that this will kill him unless he successfully finds the Forest Spirit and is able to talk it into lifting this curse from him. In the interim, though, the evil black mark gives him superpowers that enable him to literally shoot the heads and limbs off of some douche-bag samurai types, lift a door that normally takes ten men to lift, and survive getting shot through the center of mass by a musket ball the size of a fist long enough to rescue the girl and get healed by the Forest Spirit he's looking for.

San is "the girl" I'm referring to here, who Ashitaka takes a liking to the moment he lays eyes on her, in spite of the fact she and her giant wolf buddies have just finished slaughtering a bunch of humans who are only trying to get through the forest to bring food and supplies to their families in Iron Town, and in spite of the way she and her wolf buddies constantly threaten to kill him and even make a go of carrying out those threads. She is kind of a looker, though, so, hey, crazy in the head, crazy in bed, right?

The main plot of this film is about the conflict between the industrializing humans and nature, actually somewhat paralleling the kind of conflict J. R. R. Tolkien set up in his stories. Actually it wouldn't surprise me that much if this movie was somewhat inspired by Lord of the Rings (as in the books, obviously), but really that's just an interesting thought and not something I'm actually holding this film up against.

Anyway, the industrializing humans are represented by two different groups – the douche-bag samurai I referred to earlier, and the inhabitants of the island-based Iron Town. The samurai represent a militaristic group of humans who basically want everything they lay eyes on, and they'll kill anyone and everyone who happens to be there. Given that this is a Miyazaki film, this representation of a military force really shouldn't be all that surprising. Not that the samurai weren't douch-bags. Iron Town, on the other hand, exists to create iron and the primitive firearms it uses to defend itself against douche-bag samurais and forest spirits alike. Of course in doing so, they've cleared a significant portion of the forest, and have mined for iron ore, so you can kind of guess where the conflict comes in here.


Iron Town and its leader, a woman named Eboshi, are actually what help to balance this movie out quite a bit, and show that in spite of the fact Miyazaki can be very preachy when it comes to the environment and fighting, he can still keep his films from being completely one-sided, and I respect that. See, Eboshi has basically taken in all of the social misfits that wouldn't be able to find good work anywhere else, like prostitutes and even lepers, so they can make iron. It's hard work and these people are portrayed as more or less good people who are simply trying to make a living, and who owe a lot to their leader because she's taken them in and given them this refuge in exchange for their labor. Ebashi also genuinely seems to care for these people, and will put her own life on the line to defend them. As this brings them into conflict with the forest spirits, San and her wolf family are very hateful toward Ebashi and the residents of Iron Town, and since San and her wolf family are constantly killing their friends and family members, they're naturally very hateful toward San and the forest spirits. This kind of puts Ashitaka in an awkward position, because while he doesn't agree with the industrialization and the stripping of the forest, he still recognizes these as good people and can't bring himself to condemn them, in spite of the revelation that they are essentially the cause of his present misfortune. Then, of course, is the fact that he really wants to slip San the ol' sausage, so he ends up finding himself fighting both groups while trying to befriend both groups. Complexity and depth, I like it.

So as I mentioned earlier, Ashitaka ends up getting shot by a huge musket ball of doom, which is made of iron instead of lead for some reason, and is also responsible for the various forest spirit animals who get shot going crazy and turning into worm-covered demons that want to kill everyone in their sight. Kind of like the samurai-types. Huh, wonder if there's a parallel there or something. Anyway, since San is impressed by what Ashitaka is willing to sacrifice in order to preserve her life and by his respect for the forest and its spirits, she decides to take him to the Forest Spirit to be healed. As it turns out, he'd actually spotted the Forest Spirit earlier in its day time form, which looks kind of like an elk with a flat, human-like face.


The forest's savior.

Due to its ability to magically heal the sick and wounded, and to literally walk on water, I'm going to refer to the Forest Spirit as Elk Jesus from now on. In any case, this first instance of the audience being shown that Elk Jesus has these abilities also establishes that in order to give life, by healing or otherwise, life must be sacrificed to do so, which is why San grabbed a tree branch and planted it close to Ashitaka when she took him to Elk Jesus's home.

And thus Ashitaka find himself no better off than he was at the start of his quest, healed of his gunshot wound, but still bearing the curse that has spread even further through his body. And despite San coming around to him, somewhat, she still refuses to accept any kind of a peaceful compromise with humans, or that she even is human herself, having been raised by a she-wolf like Romulus and Remus. He's also told to leave the forest by both the wolves and the leader of a huge pack of giant boars, because the next time they see him they'll kill him. Of course, the samurai douche-bags attack Iron Town while Ebashi and most of the men from Iron Town are away on a hunt for the emperor, so he ends up resuming his quest to find a peaceful solution for Ebashi and her group and the forest spirits, and to save San while he's at it.

Ebashi, for all the good that she's done the residents of Iron Town, apparently only had the resources to do so because of the emperor, and now owes the old bastard a favor. As it turns out, the favor consists of hunting down Elk Jesus and cutting off its head, which is said to grant immortality upon its owner, or something like that. To ensure she lives up to her end of things, the emperor even goes as far as to send an elite group of hunter-monks, who are portrayed not all that differently from the samurai.

As it turns out, Elk Jesus turns into this giant, ethereal humanoid at night and wanders the forest. Apparently, during the transformation phase between elk-thing and giant ghost-thing, it's actually vulnerable to getting shot, although it apparently losing its head just makes it grope around wildly, killing everything it touches while it looks for its head. This is where the movie basically sells itself as being a kind of lost history to the real world, because this incident marks the end of forest spirits as a tangible thing, and of the forest animals being sentient beings. But hey, Ashitaka gets the crazy wolf-girl in the end, and in spite of Iron Town being destroyed and overrun by plants, there's nothing left now to keep humanity from progressing into an industrialized society, so happy ending for all ... except the forest spirits and Elk Jesus, who died for humanities sins (only being slightly sarcastic here).

This movie is mainly interesting to me due to its themes: religious, change from nature to industry, life from death, etc. And while I don't really agree with what all this movie has to say, it is interesting to note these themes and to make comparisons to other works that have similar themes. I also like that the majority of the characters in this movie have some actual depth to them, and that the causes and solutions to the conflict and drama in the story are not really all that clear-cut. The resolution wasn't perfect for everyone either, because even though Ashitaka was cured of his curse and got a hot new girlfriend out of the deal, he was not able to save the forest spirits and only barely managed to save the residents of Iron Town. And while the residents of Iron Town survived, everything they worked for and fought to protect was destroyed.

The main weakness of this movie, like pretty much every Miyazaki film, is that at times the pacing can be somewhat slow and the movie can drag in parts. I also have to admit to a personal bias here in that the setting and subject matter just aren't all that terribly interesting to me. However, due to the interesting theme and the balanced storytelling, I'm going to rate this movie somewhat higher than I might have otherwise.

If you’re interested in myth, fantasy, and really like trees and stuff, you'll probably like this movie a lot more than I did, because really it's custom made for people who have those interests. But even if you aren't someone like that, it's still a somewhat engaging and interesting story that can entertain. 8/10.

[CX]

Howl's Moving Castle
(2004 movie)

My third and final (for the moment) Miyazaki film review, this is everything I've come to expect from the man. Well, mostly. In this case it's more about being anti-military and pacifist than environmentalism, which takes a back seat to calling everyone in the military murderers. The Wikipedia article about this movie mentions that Miyazaki was upset about the 2003 Iraq invasion, like pretty much everyone else in the world, so naturally he uses this movie as a soapbox to that end.

Okay, maybe I'm being a bit harsh here, because to be fair, most of the movie is about the protagonist, a young woman named Sophie, and the love she develops for the eccentric wizard named Howl. As you might guess from the title, much of the movie takes place in Howl's magical moving castle, though the setting itself is in a fantasy country I never quite caught the name of and remembered, which seems like a mix of pre-WWI France, Britain, and Germany. Actually the setting is one of the most impressive things about the movie as far as I'm concerned, mostly because it reminds me a lot of the fantastic visions of the future from the late 19th and early 20th centuries, from the architecture to all the different vehicles seen buzzing about on the ground and in the air. Of course another major theme is that magic is taken as a normal, everyday thing, with wizards and witches actually being educated to be such.

Sophie is a hatter, working for a small family shop, and she's very down on what she sees as her lot in life. Basically she starts out with a very negative outlook on herself and her life because she feels it is her responsibility and her fate to waste her life making hats. This becomes an important theme for the movie, because not long after the movie starts she has an unfortunate encounter with The Witch of Waste, who apparently is after Howl for some reason. In any case, she's put under a spell that artificially ages her to the point that she looks like she's one foot in the grave. The thing of note here is that she only looks like this when she is feeling down on herself or has an otherwise negative outlook on life, because when she's distracted with what's going on around her, and when she lets her feelings for Howl come to the forefront, she begins to appear younger – in one outburst defending Howl she briefly even appears her true age. For most of the movie, though, you could almost miss the change in her appearance simply because of everything that's going on, as the movie doesn't slow down all that much once it starts introducing the characters.

The plot of the movie mainly focuses on Howl's involvement with a war that has recently broken out with another country. The details are never discussed, though, because the movie is too busy bashing the military and war in general. Actually this is part of where the movie shows some major weakness, primarily because there's a plot hole that makes things not make a lot of sense. Because the thing is, Howl is drafted to fight, and he makes it obvious that he doesn't want to fight, but he still does. The thing is, at one point he has Sophie pose as his mother to try to talk the reining monarch/witch into letting him off the hook, and a big deal is made about this monarch, Madame Suliman, ordering him to be hunted down when it becomes obvious to her that he's just draft-dodging. Yet later on, he's seen fighting in the war, and the focus shifts to Sophie trying to get him to stop fighting, because apparently there's some risk of him being stuck in the crow-like form he fights in. So why is Suliman still hunting him if he's fighting?


I don't get it.

There are some scenes that manage to hit home, especially when Sophie's home is attacked, but for the most part I find all the anti-military crap to be sanctimonious and frankly insulting. It's true, I have some bias here because I was in Air Force ROTC for a while, but while I have respect for members of the armed forces, my limited experience has given me perspective enough to not be unquestioning and basically the kind of stupid that would be on the other side of the same coin here. So while I don't unconditionally call everyone in the military a hero, I also don't unilaterally call them murderers, either, which at one point Howl just flat our states. And while war is tragic and at times pointless, there are times it's necessary, illustrated wonderfully by WWII with the Hitler and Japan taking over the world thing. I'm not going to get into it too much, because frankly that's its own discussion. Safe to say that the movie rather irritated me with this subject matter.

For the most part, though, the movie tries to generate laughs more than anything, mostly with jokes having to do with getting old – something Miyazaki undoubtedly has experience with. There are a number of secondary characters, which mostly serve comedic roles as well, including the Witch of Waste, who is reduced to a "cute" old woman who only really serves as a minor annoyance later on. There isn't a lot that really stands out, though, either story-wise or character-wise. The movie ends pretty much the way you would expect, which is to say not completely happy, but with Sophie and Howl hooking up and even adopting the child wizard who's been Howl's apprentice/assistant, along with the dog who's actually supposed to be a spy for Suliman but apparently just decides to become the family dog instead.



Before I wrap things up, though, I think I should mention another theme I've noticed with Miyazaki. I can't help but notice that all the female characters he wants to portray as being strong tend to have short hair. I also noticed that in the case of two female leads, Sophie being one of them, they start out with long hair and are somewhat weak and unassertive, but their hair is cut or otherwise ends up short as their character develops and they become stronger and more assertive. It's not really important, just something I noticed and thought I'd mention. I'm partial to short hair on women, too, so I guess that's one form of common ground between myself and Miyazaki. I still think he's a hippie, though.

Anyway, this is an interesting and marginally entertaining movie, but I find it to be mostly fluff surrounding an anti-military message. If you like other examples of Miyazaki's work, you'll probably like this, too. Even if you aren't, but you just don't mind being preached at for a few minutes out of two hours, you still might find this movie entertaining. But when it comes to me, I don't much like the sermon, which earns it a -1 modifier in my book, resulting in a score of 6/10.

[CX]

Anyone reading/enjoying this?

[Distracted]

I'm reading it. I remember seeing Princess Mononoke. Strange movie.

[CX]

Usually what I hear about the movie is how parents assume that since it has Princess in the title and that it's animated, they'll rent it for their little kids thinking it's a Disney movie. Actually technically it is since it was licensed by and given an English dub by Disney.

[Transwarp]

Anyone reading/enjoying this?

I'm reading it, which is strange, because I've never actually watched any anime. What can I say? I just enjoy a thoughtful, well-written review laced with opinion and the occasional bit of snarkiness.

Of course, not actually having SEEN any of the subjects of your reviews, my opportunity to comment is somewhat limited...

[CX]

Well, it's nice to know people are reading anyway.

[CX]

Black Lagoon
Season 3 – Roberta’s Blood Trail
(5 episode OVA)

This sequel is basically more of the same as far as plot and characters go. Oh, and since it’s an OVA, we finally get to see some uncensored side-boob from both the titular maid and everyone’s favorite fanservice action girl, Revy.

This sequel picks up right where the series proper left off, continuing the storyline of Roberta, the terminator-like maid, and her master, Garcia Lovelace. The thing about Black Lagoon is that it revels in its own grittiness, so while a story might have an otherwise happy ending, it usually still ends badly for someone or is at least bittersweet. So while Roberta successfully rescued her young master and the two of them went home, as it turns out, Garcia’s father got blown up in a clandestine anti-drug operation conducted by the US Army. Entirely innocent of anything, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and now Garcia is the head of the small Lovelace family. This not only hits Roberta’s berserker switch, but it breaks it off in the “on” position, because she grabs an antique musket that symbolizes the Lovelace family and disappears, vowing to avenge this attack on the Lovelace family.

Fortunately for Garcia, he’s not left completely alone, as the Lovelace family apparently saw the need for a second assassin-trained maid, only this time she’s a moé-ish loli, just to make sure all the fetish bases are covered. Since Garcia basically is in love with Roberta, he enlists the aid of his second maid, Fabiola, to go look for Roberta so they can hopefully bring her back home before she gets herself killed by trying to take on the US Army. This leads them back to Roanapur and the Lagoon Company, naturally at the oft’ destroyed bar where they first met Roberta. It goes about the same way, too.

Everyone is brought into this little adventure thanks to the implications being presented to the various mobs operating in Roanapur and elsewhere in the world, because they are interested in maintaining the status quo in Roanapur, even if some of them, like Hotel Moscow, would love to have an excuse to kill some American servicemen themselves thanks to the Cold War dying hard with them. In the end they actually end up helping the American black ops unit responsible for Lovelace’s death, but they are sure to let the Americans know that while there is some professional respect there, they’d just as soon kill them as anything else the next time they see them.

One of the most interesting things about Black Lagoon is its characters, and that continues with this OVA. For this story, we’re introduced to an Army officer who is duty-bound but also has a strong moral compass. The first we see of him, he’s actually defending some young Vietnamese kid from the troops in his unit, risking getting fragged himself to do so. But he holds strong, and even guns down one of his bloodthirsty subordinates to make his point. Fast forward to the present, and upon learning that he’s killed an innocent man and wounded Garcia, and he does everything he can to defend Garcia even while he flees from Roberta, who’s so out of it that she nearly kills her own young master. There isn’t a whole lot of depth to the character, and basically he’s an ideal more than a real person, but that’s pretty par for the course in Black Lagoon – what’s important is that he’s interesting.

As always, Black Lagoon is a valentine to action movie fans, and the action is just as over the top and awesome in this OVA as it was in the series proper. Sure, it’s unrealistic as hell, but if you recognize where things are coming from and just accept it for the action schlock that it is, it’s pretty damn fun to watch, and if you’re anything like me you’ll find yourself laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. This is actually why I tend to give shows like Black Lagoon more of pass for that kind of thing, because they know exactly what they are and don’t try to apologize for it in any way, unlike something like say, Avatar (as in the one James Cameron made while fapping to furry porn).

The one downside to all of this is that it tends to be fairly predictable. A lot of drama is made of Rock’s struggle to make some kind of a master plan that will enable him to save everyone this time around, since pretty much every other time he’s tried this he hasn’t really succeeded. On the plus side, this is character development, as is Revy’s continuing interest in him (I really wish they’d just jump each other’s bones and get it over with). On the other hand, it’s kind of robbed Rock of the underlying kindness that’s been an aspect of his character from the start, and turned more into this odd competition with Mr. Chang, boss of the local Triad mob.

No what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, predictability. And I don’t just mean in that you could see action scenes coming from a mile away. What I mean by that is that this story ends about the way you might guess that it would end, which is to say that it’s a mostly happy ending, except that Roberta ends up not quite being the fine specimen she was when we first met her. This is basically foreshadowed earlier in the story when she starts taking depression medication and starts seeing dead people. Essentially she becomes a Captain Ahab, in more ways than one.


And they lived happily ever after...

Overall, it’s pretty easy to say that I liked this OVA, though in a lot of ways I kind of wished we’d gotten a fully-fledged season. All the same, it was nice to get something, and it was one hell of an action romp to boot, every bit in the same vein as the first two seasons. The only downsides are a lack of time for other characters to get more than a cameo, and the kind of predictability that just comes as standard fare for action schlock.

If you liked the first two seasons, you’ll probably like what the third season has to offer, just be aware that there’s as yet no dub available, at least not as of the time I wrote this review. I’m really hoping that a dub does get made, but I’m not going to hold my breath either.

If you haven’t seen the first two seasons, you should be able to jump right into Roberta’s Blood Trail without much trouble. They do quickly run through introductions again, so you shouldn’t be completely lost if you skipped the first two seasons. If you’re trying to decide to watch this, if you liked The Expendables, RED, or the Crank movies, Black Lagoon should be right up your ally. 9/10 (in my extremely biased opinion).

[CX]

Armored Trooper VOTOMS
(52 episode series)

You know, I muddled my way through this beast of a series, hoping that in spite of the constant padding and drawing out, that it would pay off in the end. After all Blood+ turned into something worth watching in spite of a slow start, and it was likewise a long series. However, Armored Trooper VOTOMS ultimately proved to be a disappointment for me, because as the series neared its end, it became really clear to me that the writers had been pulling everything out of their fourth point of contact all along.

A product of the '80s, this series really showed its age as far as the animation – it actually resembles the animated Star Trek series from the '70s in part. That being said, at first that was my only real concern with the series. We're given a bit of exposition in the beginning that explains that a war has been going on between two interstellar nations, the Gilgamesh Confederation and the Balarant Union, and from that point on the series closely follows protagonist Chirico Cuvie as he is sent on a secret mission with a clandestine group that has unknown objectives. He thinks he's on a training mission of some kind only to find himself fighting his own forces as the group he's with looks for something. He stumbles upon a mysterious bald (and buck-ass nekkid) woman in a glowing stasis chamber, and from that point on his life goes completely to hell as basically everyone he comes across tries to kill him. So basically what I'm saying is that, initially anyway, the story seemed to interesting enough to put up with the dated animation and lack of a dub (however horrible it might have been). After all, it was obvious that this secret society didn't want Chirico with them on this mission to steal what turned out to be some kind of a genetically engineered super-soldier, yet he was an elite soldier from a group known as the Red Shoulders. What was he doing there? What was the secret society up to and how extensive was its membership? Who was the mysterious bald woman?

So it was fairly easy to root for Chirico and the friends he made along the way, even if every single one of them basically met a cliché of some kind. Chirico, for instance, was basically the ideal bad-ass soldier. Actually, it got rather amusing at times, because the secret society was apparently after the "Perfect Soldier", or PS for short, and given how Chirico was basically perfect in is Gary Stu-like ability to overcome literally any odds, I thought it was pretty obvious that Chirico was the real perfect soldier. Apparently the writers noticed this too and just made him one. But then, the PS thing was pushed into the background, even as Chirico met up with the mysterious woman and the two of them decided they were in love with each other.

I suppose it could be somehow argued that everything was planned out at least well enough, but especially getting toward the end of the series, it was obvious that the writers were just clamoring to tie up any loose ends they might have left (more on that later). I guess I can give them credit for at least caring enough to do so, anyway – that's more than Rick Berman and Brannon Braga can be given credit for anyway.

I was also initially concerned that since this was a giant mech series that I'd end up not liking it because of that. To be honest, giant mechs are mostly amusing to me, and for the most part in a series that's trying to be serious I usually find that it just isn't me thing (see my Evangelion reviews). I was somewhat impressed that some thought was actually put into these particular giant mechs, but for the most part I just kind of bared with it.

I think the characterization is where I was mainly let down for the majority of the series. To be frank, Chirico's character would change depending on whatever plot twist the writers decided to pull out of their asses, and so would pretty much everyone else's. For instance, there were three comedy relief characters who always managed to end up following Chirico no matter where he ended up, and they would constantly yo-yo between thinking Chirico was a prick and deciding he wasn't that bad after all and do everything they could help him. To be fair, though, there were plenty of times Chirico actually was a prick, and he'd usually end up screwing these people over in some way. Then there was Fyanna, the mysterious bald woman Chirico saw in the first episode (she does grow hair, though). Initially, she was an impressive combat soldier, but as Chirico drew closer to her in his search for answers, she started to grow weaker, and when the two of them fell in love she basically fell into the clichéd role a lot of women in anime and just in media in general tend to fall into. Sure, occasionally she'd show some fighting ability, but for the most part she was there to be emotional about Chirico so the writers could try to fool the audience into thinking there was actually some drama.

The series goes on a very long, convoluted journey, which seems to change depending on what mood the writers were in, and it has a little bit of everything. Chirico goes from the kind of urban cyberpunk dystopia that was pretty common for '80s sci-fi, to a Vietnam-like planet where he fights in someone else's civil war, to a post-apocalyptic desert planet that has a poisonous atmosphere, to the desert home planet of a species that decided to abandon technology, with an ancient technological mystery buried beneath them the entire time. Likewise, Chirico goes from being almost an everyman, to an asshole, to being sympathetic, to being regretful in his past affiliation with the Red Shoulders due to atrocities they committed, to refusing to let a woman die even though she's vowed revenge on him and constantly tries to kill him, to being a prick with aspirations of galactic domination, to being the big damn hero at the last minute. I especially wasn't impressed with those last two things.

So what was the solution to all the mysteries? God did it. Well, a technological god who is basically a genetically superior superman, but, still. And as it turns out, Chirico is actually one of these "overmen", too. And the part that really irritated the hell out of me is that once this was finally revealed, Chirico basically turned evil and left his would-be lover and the friends who have been with him for all this way to die. Then, not long after, he seems to actively try to kill them as they try to stop him from taking over the galaxy. Of course!
Then, at the last minute, Chirico suddenly shoots the ancient computer god and sets about destroying it, having done all the douchebag things he'd done up to that point to fool the computer god. Of course, the big deal about the computer god was that it was telepathic, so... yeah.


Daisy... Daisy... Give me your answer, do... I'm half cra-zy, all for the love of you...

The ass-pull comes in how basically every lingering mystery – the strange ship Chirico and Fyanna found themselves on following planet Vietnam, why Chirico was on the mission in the first episode, etc. – was resolved by having the computer god exposit that it was totally behind everything, and even though Chirico came close to dying more than once, the computer god was somehow protecting him the entire time. Talk about an eye-roller.

The series then somewhat abruptly ends as the war Chirico apparently was trying to prevent with by destroying the computer god (along with the planet it was on and all of its inhabitants) breaks out between the Gilgamesh and the Balarant all over again. Chirico and Fyanna, now newly made up with the other friends Chirico had tried to kill previously, decide to be shot out into space in a cryo-tube, leaving the story open for a sequel, which there apparently were plenty of. Jury is still out on whether I'll actually give them a chance – I might check them out just out of morbid curiosity.

I think, for me, the most interesting aspect of the series was seeing the influences this series took from other sources, and how it influenced at least one other show at least in name. There was definitely a lot of influence from the movies Alien and 2001: A Space Odyssey, both in visual design and in the use of certain sound effects. As for how it influenced another, much younger show – apparently someone from Gainax saw this show and especially liked the name of a certain character, named Gurren.

That being said, while there are some interesting aspects to this series and it is somewhat noteworthy in the basics of its story and approach to telling that story, I'm not sure I'd really recommend it to anyone. Hardcore sci-fi and mech fans might be interested somewhat, but it's a rather dated show and it tends to drag at times. 4/10.

I can't believe I watched the whole thing...

[Distracted]

52 episodes? That's a pretty good chunk of your life that you'll never get back.

[CX]

Eh, it was a decent way to spend my lunch break.

[CX]

Baccano! – A Re-Review
(13 + 3 episode series)

Having recently re-watched this series, I thought it deserved a re-review – not that my views have changed much on it, but because I have a clearer understanding of it. That, and the original review I wrote up on it was one of the first ones I did, and I think it deserves to be reworked using my current, more detailed style.

Baccano! is a pretty unique series, and it’s obvious that a lot of effort went into bringing it into being. Like the Gunsmith Cats team, the Baccano! team went to the locations they wanted to portray in New York City, and since a good chunk of the story takes place on a train, the team also visited the Steamtown National Historic Site, so the locations the story takes place in could be more accurately depicted. This attention to detail was carried on into the English dub by the casting director and script writer, who watched old movies from the era so they could get a feel for how people talked at the time, and this produced one of the best dubs in anime. About the only downside is that since most of these movies were about Chicago mobsters, a bunch of New York mobsters had Chicago accents, but in this case it’s the thought that counts. For me, the attention to detail is pretty impressive nonetheless. And as if that wasn’t enough, the outstanding soundtrack also makes a point of bringing the sound of Prohibition era America to life for a show that primarily takes place during this time frame.

Of course, this attention to detail isn’t really what I’m referring to when I call this a unique series. What makes this show unique is its method of storytelling, which is to say that it’s like the editor had attention deficit disorder. There are several different storylines that take place at several different time frames that all manage to intersect on a train called the Flying Pussyfoot, which is referring to being qick and light on the feet, you sick bastards. Anyway, if that wasn’t bad enough, the story actually starts out after everything has already gone down, and then proceeds to feed the audience relevant information in a well-paced manner that kept me interested in the story. To the credit of the people who made this, they actually kept things pretty straight, which is more than most other shows told in a more traditional manner can say sometimes. This works both for and against this show, as it does generate interest and tells a story in a different way, but it can also be very frustrating and confusing at times.

The story itself revolves around a group of immortals and an elixir of immortality given to them by a demon one of them managed to summon. This isn’t a case of Highlander immortality either, as one of these immortals can be shredded into little pieces and their flesh will magically reconstitute together and bring the person (or animal) back to life. The original group was apparently a bunch of alchemists, though the series didn’t really make that point all that clear to me, as I was under the impression that it was a group of immigrants on the way across the Atlantic. Although now it makes a lot more sense to me why they all had different fake European accents. Anyway, the demon gives the knowledge for how to make the immortality elixir to the alchemist who summoned him, but he and most of the others decided that they would keep this to themselves, as the consequences of this becoming common knowledge and creating a world full of immortals was rather distressing. However, one of them, and old man named Szilard Quates, disagrees and wants this knowledge for himself. Incidentally, the demon left the group of immortals an out in case they ever decided they wanted to die by making it possible for them to be absorbed by one of their fellow immortals if their devourer placed their hand on their forehead and thought, ‘I wish to eat’, or something along those lines. As an added bonus the devourer also absorbed all of that person’s knowledge and experience on top of basically being a cannibal, so you might guess where this was leading.

Fast forward to the 1930s, and ol’ mad Doctor Quates was closing in on the correct formula for the elixir, and unfortunately for him, got tangled up with a bunch of mobsters in the process. Really, though, the best thing he ever produced was Ennis, an incredibly attractive homunculus he created from his own cells using magic, apparently.


*sigh* So kawaii… Have I mentioned I have a thing for women in suits, women with short hair, and women who can kick ass?

As for how all this leads up to a slaughter on the Flying Pussyfoot *snicker*, I can’t really say for sure, other than that a lot of the characters we’re introduced to end up on that train, and one of them was one of these original immortals (man, imagine being stuck in the body of a 10 year old boy for 200 years) and the homunculus of another immortal happened to be on the train while some kind of underhanded political crap was going on. It’s really kind of a Charlie Foxtrot, because while there’s a group of black-suited terrorists basically looking to take a US Senator’s wife and daughter hostage, there’s also a group of white-suited thugs led by the completely insane mobster Ladd Russo that’s basically looking to kill everyone on board. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s an expert assassin/gymnast on board who was actually one of the train’s conductors, but thanks to a scary story being told at the right time he effectively becomes a monster known as the “rail tracer” who busily goes about slaughtering all the black-suits and white-suits on the train. It’s entertaining as hell to watch, but it can also be confusing at times.

That all being said, this series is completely over the top and ridiculous. That actually helps me to let the giant cluster **** that is the storytelling method and the sheer amount of story and characters that there is. Which, speaking of the characters, there are so many of them that it's often hard to keep track of them all. The opening credits fortunately helps a little, as it introduces basically everyone important to the story while the awesome theme song plays. It also helps to convey the scatter-shot method of storytelling, I guess. Really, there are only two characters that manage to weave it all together – Isaac and Miria, two eccentric (as in insane) characters who are in every single storyline except for the "how it all got started" storyline that took place in the 1700s. There's also the vice president of the Daily Days, which is both a newspaper and an information broker, and his young apprentice, Carol. Those two mainly serve the function of introducing the different storylines and the odd method of storytelling to the audience, as well as the all important role of being the writers' mouthpiece. This may be somewhat unkind of me to say, but they just made it so darned obvious by only having these characters be in the first few episodes, literally introducing all the various storylines, and then not having them show up again until the very end of the special 3 episodes that were added after the original ending of the series, mainly to take pot shots at critics like myself, as well as making a statement to all the fans who were undoubtedly the reason these 3 episodes were made, which is to say that they tied up a few loose threads and then told everyone off about any others they might have left dangling.

It's certainly a valid argument that the audience should be able to use its imagination in lieu of showing how each and every plot point got resolved, which is to say that there is an appeal to that. Mainly, I just took a little issue with the attitude, although I can understand anime fans being at the root of that. I'll also say that their unique method of storytelling was also valid, but I still think the show would have been better in chronological order and without the story-framing writer mouthpieces, but that's just my opinion.

On that same note, I also have to say that I didn't particularly attach to any characters or find any of them sympathetic, mainly because they were all criminals, but that's okay because this isn't really a serious series anyway. In this case, what matters is interesting characters who are interesting to watch, and Baccano! has plenty of those. One of my favorites has to be Ladd Russo.


How can you not like this guy? So what if he's a psychopathic murderer who's saving his girlfriend to kill last; he's just so damn entertaining to watch.

So, in case you were wondering if I'd changed my mind on the rating I gave this show on my nebulous and arbitrary scale of "good", no, I haven't. I still rate this a 9/10 for being the entertaining, well done, and well thought out ruckus that it is. I would definitely recommend it, and I'm going to finally get around to adding it to my favorites list. Actually, I bought this show a while back when it was on sale, and the only thing I regret is that Funimation saw fit to put unskipable ads on every single disk.

[CX]

Maximum Weeaboo Reviews: Gunsmith Cats

An older anime about a pair of women who chase down bounties and run a gun shop for a living, we at Maximum Weeaboo Magazine are pulling double duty by giving this older series some exposure while reviewing something we actually think is good. After all, anyone can tear an obviously bad show a structurally superfluous new behind, but it takes a little more effort to explain why one thinks a show is actually good. Whether we actually manage to accomplish that or not remains to be seen, so let us know either way what your worthless opinion of our worthless opinions is.


MaximumWeeaboo presents
a Table Heavy Industries production
audio-visual critique and commentary on

Gun Smith Cats
based on the manga by Kenichi Sonoda
Produced by OLM, Licenced by ADV*

[CX]

Neo Tokyo
(1987 movie)

I've actually been putting this review off for close to two weeks now, because honestly, I'm not entirely sure what all I can say about this movie. Of course part of that is because strictly speaking it isn't so much a movie as a collection of three short stories, only one of which is told in a linear, mostly logical fashion. The others are a bit more ... abstract. But then, that isn't to say that I disliked this movie so much as I wished I understood what exactly it was I was watching.

Okay, just to start things off, I'm going to put it out there that this is a beautifully drawn and animated piece of work. The visual style of the two less abstract shorts in particular typify one of the appeals older anime has with me. Older sci-fi anime in particular just tends to look really awesome to me, and I actually kind of like it when things are kind of weird or otherworldly in the story that's being told. Actually, one of the things I liked about the much more recent movie Redline was that it's visual style and even the type of story that was being told reminded me a lot of '80s anime that I've grown to like, in spite of never having watched any of it until more recently. I'd say Redline actually mostly resembled the "Running Man" short with the hardness of the lines in the drawing style and just overall in the visual design, at least in my opinion. Incidentally Madhouse animated both of these movies.

As for things like plot and story, well, that's a bit more complicated. As I mentioned before, this isn't a movie, it's a collection of three shorts, one of which serves as a framing device for the others, at least in how it was edited for the movie. Called "Labyrinth labyrinthos", it seems to involve a little girl in '50s era Japan playing with her large pet cat, named Cicerone. The Wiki article indicates that the abstract visuals the audience is subjected to is an "exploration into the mind of a little girl," which I guess I can buy, it's just that I felt kind of like I was watching an animated episode of The Twilight Zone. Unfortunately, there isn't a whole lot of commentary I can offer on this short, as it's really much too abstract for me to do so – really this is a case of things possibly representing some other concept that I just don't grasp, or it could be complete nonsense. About all I can offer is that her cat's name is an old European term for a guide, such as for a museum or an art gallery. The word itself is derived from Marcus Tullius Cicero's name. He was a Roman philosopher and politician during the late Roman Republic. During Caesar's dictatorship, he advocated for a return to the more traditional style of republican government which later led him to becoming an enemy of Marc Antony and getting killed. In any case, the use of his name as the title for a guide probably has a lot more to do with his writings on philosophy, mostly of the Greek variety, through which he introduced Greek philosophy to the Roman Republic. These writings were rediscovered in early modern times and are often credited for helping to start the Renaissance by reintroducing classical philosophy to the writers of the day. As for how this applies to a little girl traveling into a warped dimension and seeing some Salvador Dalí artwork on the way to a monster circus, I have no idea, beyond the obvious of the cat accompanying her in spite of not actually being a guide of any kind.

The second short, called "Running Man" is about a futuristic, ultra-violent race of some kind that is (in)famous for all the deaths it tends to cause. It focuses on a driver named Zach Hugh, but is told out of linear order and is narrated by a magazine reporter after Zach's unusual and mysterious death. Apparently Zach had a telekinetic ability which he used to destroy the hover-car racer of anyone who managed to pass him, and this apparently had driven him insane. The short covers Zach's last race as the ghosts of his past catch up to him and he apparently destroys his own body and car. I guess the thing is, while the narration explained all of this, the way the story is edited together made it somewhat confusing for me to watch until after I'd watched it a second time. It was kind of bland as a story, but pretty neat to watch even if I didn't entirely understand just what I was watching.


What did I just watch?

"The Order to Stop Construction" tells its story in a much more traditional fashion, keeping things nice and linear even if the setting is still strange as hell. Basically, a stereotypical salary man from a generic Japanese construction company has to travel to a fictitious South American country to shut down an expensive project being built there. Called Facility 444, this would be a bit more obvious to American audiences if it was called Facility 666 – 4 is the Japanese number for death. Anyway, the facility is being built deep in the jungle and has to deal with both an abundance of rain and flora, and because of the conditions there it's being built entirely by robots with only one man supervising the project. As you might guess, this is the pretty standard "warning against depending too much on technology" story, though I personally also see it as a bit of a jab at the business attitudes of the average Japanese company. Since a coup has taken place, the contract for the facility has been cancelled, and the order has gone out to stop construction and recoup as much as possible from the site. Unfortunately the human supervisor has not responded to this order and construction at the site is continuing. So, it's a bit clichéd, but not in a way that made it unenjoyable for me to watch.

So while this movie may not be what I would normally call "good", I think it was still pretty fun to watch. It actually reminded me of a show that was on Tech TV back in the early 2000s that featured animation (mostly CG) from amateurs, some of which had no point beyond being cool-looking, and some of which actually were short stories. I'd say I enjoyed Neo Tokyo on that basis, and I think it's important to keep that in mind if you're thinking about watching this movie. I actually would recommend it, though more in terms of seeing an example of some cool sci-fi anime from the '80s than in some other sense. That being said, I'm not entirely sure how to rate this, even on my nebulous scale of "good", so I'll just tentatively call it a 7/10 – not something that'll rock your socks off, but still fun to watch.